Young Writers Society

Act 1; Scene 1.

The scene opens in the Woodland household. It is the first day of school, and MIA's first day of her junior year. The time is 6:39 a.m.

VICTOR

I can't believe you're going to graduate, Noel. I feel so old.

NOEL

I'm not graduating just yet, I still have a year left. Then it will be Mia's turn.

VERONICA

Lord, my babies are growing up so fast! I can't keep up. 

(NOEL laughs and pours a cup of orange juice.)

VICTOR

We don't have to worry about that for a while, honey. Let's just enjoy today.

VERONICA

I could enjoy it if my daughter was downstairs. Mia, come down to the kitchen, please! 

(Enter MIA, stomping down the stairs and into the kitchen. She is dressed in a large graphic t-shirt and sweats.)

NOEL

Is that what you're wearing to school? 

(MIA glares at him and nods swiftly, reaching for a burnt piece of toast.)

VERONICA

Well, it's certainly comfy-looking.

MIA

I can dress however I want to.

VICTOR

I know, sweetheart, but is that honestly what you want to wear on your first day of school?

NOEL

It's awfully flattering, if you know what I mean.

(MIA throws a sausage at his chest, leaving a slimy and greasy stain. NOEL growls angrily and picks up a syrupy pancake, aimed for her hair. VICTOR intervenes, slapping NOEL's arm and knocking the pancake to the ground.)

VICTOR

Grow up, you two! NOEL, your sister can dress any way she pleases.

NOEL

I was just yanking her chain, come on now! Jeez, she can't even take a joke.

MIA

Fuck off, Noel.

VERONICA

MIa Alexia Woodland, you watch your mouth!

MIA

I'm out of here.

(MIA exits the room.)

NOEL

What's up her alley?

VERONICA

Must be that time of the month. Noel, that was out of line. You know your sister is stressing.

NOEL

I was kidding! She needs to lighten up.

VICTOR

You need to grow up. This is your last year before you become an adult; now's the time to start thinking rationally and not jumping ahead.

NOEL

It's not my fault. Mia has stick shoved up her a-

VERONICA

Noel Andrew Woodland! Do not disrespect your sister that way.

(NOEL rolls his eyes and stands up, intended on leaving. His foot lands on the syrupy pancake and he slips, falling with a loud crash. MIA's laughter can be heard from offstage.)

VICTOR

Son, are you okay?

NOEL

I'm fine! I'm going to kill her.

(MIA re-enters the scene, now wearing a long-sleeved flannel, unbuttoned and fanning out as she walks. To complete the look, she has replaced her sweats with a pair of dark-wash skinny jeans. Her hair in in a side ponytail and she has on modest make-up.)

MIA

You can't blame me for that, I didn't shove you into the pancake. Loser.

NOEL

You made me drop it, stupid. 

VERONICA

Alright, enough of you two! Go to school, now.

(MIA smirks at her brother, reaching into her purse to grab her car keys. She turns to leave the kitchen, then pauses. She tosses the keys to NOEL.)

NOEL

What the hell?

MIA

You can drive. 

NOEL

Why can't you?

MIA

Just do it! 

(NOEL shakes his head and throws them back at MIA, hitting her in the stomach. MIA gasps and doubles over, clutching her stomach.)

MIA

You stupid little twit!

NOEL

Chill, it's not like it's a watermelon.

(MIA is in too much pain to respond. Her parents rush to her and help her lean against the wall. MIA tries to catch her breath.)

VERONICA

Do not throw stuff at your sister, especially car keys!

VICTOR

What's gotten into you, Noel?

NOEL

Oh, yeah. Like I threw a freaking rock at her. 

MIA

Shut up! Take the keys and drive me to school.

NOEL

What, are you handicapped now, or just retarded?

VERONICA

Just do it, Noel. Now.

(NOEL scowls and helps MIA up, leading her out of the kitchen and exiting the scene.)

VERONICA

There is something wrong with him. Do you think he's jealous of Mia?

VICTOR

I don't know, but it needs to stop. Maybe we need to send them to Joy.

VERONICA

Joy?

VICTOR

She's a councilor at Redmon High. She's a good friend of mine and an excellent advisor.

VERONICA

Maybe it would help them to talk and sort out their problems. Especially Mia, that was a bit over-dramatic.

VICTOR

I'm not too sure it's acting. I've been meaning to tell you. I was walking past Mia's room yesterday, and she has her door open. She was standing in front of the mirror with only her sports bra on, her hands on her stomach. She's got these blotchy purple bruises on her sides and abdomen. They don't look too major, but I'm still concerned.

VERONICA

Seriously? Why didn't you tell me sooner! There must be something wrong with her. She needs to see that councilor. Make the appointment as soon as you can, Victor. I'm worried about my children.

VICTOR

It's going to be okay, Veronica. What's the worst that can happen?

(The scene fades out with a sense of dramatic irony at VICTOR's words.)

Hi!
I just want to start off saying; you never EVER start off with your cast in the beginning of a play, the others around here will eat you alive for doing that! Otherwise, you can really write about a disfunctional family, I can completely see this being acted out. Good work and keep it up!
S.C

Hey Ariel!

Oh, I so love reviewing and when it's my good friend asking, I'm more than happy. But mind you, I've never reviewed Scripts and my only experience of writing plays myself is for the projects I do for my Geography or Hindi assignments, so sorry in advance if this review sucks. xD!

Alright, so I read it and God, I should review Scripts more often. Besides taking such a less time to get complete, you learn a lot from them, too. You know writing drama in form of scripts is also a really important factor in improving your writing. You have nothing but only dialog to convey the character's emotions and in that way you always end up getting better at dialog writing. And then it'd be your dialog in novels which would make the story fun. Sorry, I'm a bit distracted.

So, I can't really say much 'bout the story mainly because the story hasn't progressed much here. We've just got a bit sneak peak into the characters' lives and from what I read till now, it seems a pretty much normal household with worried parents and two siblings who can't go by without fighting. A pretty much normal household. But you did have an excellent cliff hanger and I would have to say that it's the only thing that would pull me to the next installment.

I don't wanna be harsh but the truth is that apart from this stuff there wasn't much to attract me in the story. I know I can't expect you to reveal the whole story in the first installment only but I just felt there was something missing. I know just saying 'there's something missing' won't help you but I don't know what's the matter. Okay, so I'm just confusing you so don't trouble yourself on this point.

Otherwise, I think there's going to be a murder(you revealed in your cast) and if you really crack your brains into this, it'd turn out brilliant. You just have to keep in mind that your dialog should be really crisp and should've the proper emotions to them. Drama's are good, but they're a bit incomplete by themselves until they're acted. But if your dialog is good, then nothing like it to keep the reader from running away.


It's actually interesting(the story you've planned) so good luck with it.

Oh, and yes, I don't really know much about writing Scripts, but I sort of agree with what Cross said in this case. Either you get the list removed or you find something else to describe Mia with. I really think you should do that because or else half of the suspense of your story would die right here when people know that Mia'd be dying in the future chapters. I hope you understand what I mean.


Other wise, it's good. I know I sucked at this review, so I'm terribly sorry for that.

P.S. I so love you for naming this character Mia. It makes me feel special. *feels loved*