Young Writers Society

This will show you just how wierd me and my freinds really are.

So me and my friend Kennedy were walking down the hallway in school to put her lunch box away and we started to discuss how characters in stories never go to the bathroom.....yeah that's what we discuss on a normal day.
I know it would ruin the epic book with like like "Sure, he would make his life-changing-world-saving decision, after he goes to the bathroom." But come on! Am I the only one thats curious about if book-characters actually use the toilet. (I know abvioulsy and logically they do. I just like to say they never tell it blatantly in the book). But wouldn't be hilarious though if someone wrote a book like that? I personally thought of that and decided the title should be called "Potty Breaks First, Saving the World Later" LOL and the character has a going probolem LMAO!!!!!Ahhh...man.

Arias looked around at the ornatley decorated room in wonder. Was that stair case made out of marble? That mirror edging looked suspisciously(I cannot spell that word) like gold. A woman started to slowly walk down the stairs, her steps poised and an air of majesty hung around her, enshrouding her like a blanket. Her dress billowed in the cool air and her hip length white hair hung straight, her face a picture of serenity(I swear there's a d in there somewhere). Arias held her breath as she stopped in front of him. So many questions were going through his mind but there was one he needed to have answered right away.

"Where's your bathroom?"

Yes, I wasted 100 pts. just to write this.

WOW, just what i was thinking i always wonder that. and i love this short story you have written all the questions where going through her mind where's the bathroom. Hilarious!!! would love to read this book or short story if you do, do it because i would have a right laugh about it!

Hello there, RoseGryffindor. I'm suspecting you are a Harry Potter fan by your username; we have a common love, then.

Anyways, the fact that characters tend to not go to the restroom during novels does jump out at you a bit. I suppose, however, most writers figure that their readers would rather read about life-threatening situations and love scenes than a scene where a character's in the restroom. Ahem, I would have to agree with that. I don't think I would enjoy reading about a "potty break," as you put it.

Alright, before I correct your short little story, I'd just like to say, that "obviously" is spelled with an o, not an a. Just a tiny pet peeve of mine, there!

RoseGryffindor wrote:This will show you just how wierd me and my freinds really are.

I couldn't resist. "Weird" is spelled with an e before the i. If you draw upon the old rule, It's i before e, except after c, then you should be fine to spell most words. However, weird is an exception to that rule, and one you'll have to remember! Also, I think it would be, "This will show you just how weird my friends and I really are."

RoseGryffindor wrote:So me and my friend Kennedy were walking down the hallway in school to put her lunch box away and we started to discuss how characters in stories never go to the bathroom.....yeah that's what we discuss on a normal day.

Just for your information, ellipses (these things: ...) tend to only last three little dots. Any more and it's just frustrating, honestly.

RoseGryffindor wrote: know it would ruin the epic book with like like "Sure, he would make his life-changing-world-saving decision, after he goes to the bathroom." But come on! Am I the only one thats curious about if book-characters actually use the toilet

Like like, are we valley girls now? If you have to, use only one "like" and don't forget the comma after it, as you're going into a quotation after that word.

RoseGryffindor wrote:But wouldn't be hilarious though if someone wrote a book like that?

Wouldn't it be hilarious.

RoseGryffindor wrote:probolem

Spelled p-r-o-b-l-e-m, thank you very much.

Alright, now to your actual story.

RoseGryffindor wrote:Arias looked around at the ornatley decorated room in wonder.

"Ornately" not "ornatley." And the name Arias is a bit odd to me, honestly. It feels like more of a last name, but, eh, whatever suits your character.

RoseGryffindor wrote:Was that stair case made out of marble?

Staircase is one word.

RoseGryffindor wrote:That mirror edging looked suspisciously(I cannot spell that word) like gold.

Suspiciously is the correct spelling.

Overall, this is cute. However, if this was a book, I'd probably be 'turned off' as a reader. That's just my point of view - I would rather not read about characters' bathroom endeavors, truth be told. However, I do suggest you work on your spelling, as it's a bit on the rough side at the moment. You do seem to be doing well in your writing, however, and feel free to message me with questions and comments.

I hope this helps,
Mizzle

You're so right. They never go to the bathroom. So I guess that no matter the story fictional characters all have one common super power....bladders of steel. O-O I wish I could do that. Never going to the bathroom would save a lot of time. But....Then wouldn't that be bad for you? Agh, I'm confuzzeled. =.=

OK, I need to not fail at friendship anymore so I can be a part of this conversation. Now, I am going to have to have a part were Hazel takes a potty break. Now I am going to have to find a book were the main character goes the bathroom. It has to be there somewere. We all know you can miss things (Eustace the dragon for example. I'm just kidding, I love you bacon. Writing stories based on the weirdness of friends is fun, isn't it?

I've kind of wondered this before. There's actually a TV Tropes about it, called Bottomless Bladder or something (www.tvtropes.org -- warning, seriously addictive website). As they point out, it's actually even more weird in those computer games where you "are" the character 24/7 -- because in a book or movie they could be going to the bathroom between chapters/scenes, but in a real-time computer game..?

So, I decided to read this simply because of the title -- it reminds me of "Body Break", with that atrocious eighties music ... Anyways, onto the review.

So me and my friend Kennedy were walking down the hallway in school to put her lunch box away and we started to discuss how characters in stories never go to the bathroom.....

So me and my friend, Kennedy, were walking down the hallway in scool to put her luch box away an we starte to discuss how characters in stories never go to he bathroom ...

Just a few grammatical errors in that.
But don't worry -- I've wondered the same thing.

Her dress billowed in the cool air and her hip length white hair hung straight, her face a picture of serenity(I swear there's a d in there somewhere).

There would be a 'd' in it if you were trying to say "serendipity". However, unfortunately, it does not mean the same things are serenity.

Now, Mizzle touched a lot on the numerous spelling/ grammar mistakes in the short story. However, (I seem to like that word), I liked this short little piece, as I totally have wondered the same thing. They must have ultra-huge bladders, or they wear disapers all the time. However, I doubt many readers want to read about the character's bathroom expedition: "Opening the bathroom door she sat down for a few minutes, relieving herself of all the built-up liquids in her body. She made sure to watch as the toilet swirled her excrements down the toilet, to make sure that no floaters were left beind. She made a point of taking care to wash her hands, getting in to each crach and crevice, underneath her fingernails and between her fingers." How tasteful can you make going to the washroom? Not very, my friend. Not very.

All-in-all, though, a piece with a good point, but poor spelling. You may need to see the grammar therapist for a bit of help.

Happy writing, and Merry Christmas!

Kennedy? Omigawd, thats my name!
Yeah, if Pip wasn't a failure at friendship then MAYBE she could understand!
But I don't care what the normal people say about it, this is an AMAZING idea for a story! You should write something like that, publish it, and then give me all the money you make from it because I helped you come up with it and I need money.
But seriously, people NEED to pee, that should include fictional characters. Personally I think it makes them easy to relate to and I always like that in a character. When I read a book it stresses me out that they don't take a leak and or dump! Its like, "WHY CANT YOU PEE? WHY? WHAT"S WRONG WITH YOU!" But then again this is coming from a girl who yells at inanimate objects, so maybe my opinion doesn't matter. Anyway, its an awesome story idea! XD
Now if you excuse me, I am going to go get a bagel.

I both yell at inanimate objects and wonder why fictional characters never pee. so yes, I am normal.
I like bagels too.