Young Writers Society

Sorry for the language/sexual references. Hope this does not offend anyone!

Why Nice Guys Finish Last

You know whose fault it is? Jane Austin’s. That’s right, Jane Austin. You know why? She wrote a book years ago called Pride and Prejudice. In this book is a guy, a fictional character, mind you, named Mr. Darcy. Mr. Darcy is a handsome guy (of course) otherwise we wouldn’t be talking about him. Turns out he’s also wealthy (of course). So these sisters in the book meet Mr. Darcy, and it turns out he’s kind of an asshole. So, you would think, ‘well, he’s an asshole so they probably want nothing to do with him’. Well, remember I told you he’s a rich handsome asshole, so that keeps his foot in the door. Well later he does some asshole things and says some asshole things, but it turns out that he also does some really nice things, and he only said the asshole things because he likes this sister so much. So the moral of the story is: if a guy’s an asshole, maybe it’s because he likes you.

Now your mother, she probably read this book, so she’s been corrupted by it. And when you were little, and some kid pushed you down on the playground and you went home and told your mom what happened, she tells you he pushed you down because he likes you. So now you are a child and you already have the Mr. Darcy Complex. And now you’re intrigued by assholes. And every girl wants to be the girl who brings out the sweet side of an asshole. But the guys who are sweet to you all the time? Well, where’s the fun in that, right?

So you meet some asshole, and he acts like an asshole. But once in a while he’s sweet to you, and because sweetness with assholes is at such a premium, it makes you feel really special. So then you have sex with him. Afterwards of course, he begins to act like an asshole again, until that is, he wants to sleep with you again. Then he’ll be nice again. And every time, after he’s slept with you, you can’t figure out for the life of you why he starts acting like an asshole again.

So do you see the problem here? Your mom told you the kid at the playground who pushed you down did it because he likes you. Well guess what. The kid at the playground pushed you down because he’s an asshole.

You know which kid does like you? The one who helps you up.

First off, BIG brownie points for the title. It's a Cobra Starship song, minus the 'why'.

This was really cute! Even though I've never read Pride and Prejudice, I get what you mean. The asshole only wants sex, money, and freecooking/cleaning. People like that P my O, ugh. -,-"

You were right. The one who truly likes you will help you up, wipe your tears, and offer you a candy bar, if you're in kindergarden. When you're in high school, he'll kill the other guys ass for you. It's sweet, really!

Loved it; it made me say 'aww!' at the end! XD

-Ariel.

That was just awesome, okay? It's pretty much the truth, too. XP A lot of girls have that view about guys who are, well, assholes. I've never had that view, I know if someone likes me or not.

Anyway, to go on with this.

I noticed that you used the word 'and' alot. While using and is good [and needed], you can't start off sentences with the word and since it is a conjuntion. My mother has drilled this into me [since she helps me when I'm stuck on essays and other works] and so I'll catch myself if I do it, or when I've seen it done.

I also think that you don't need to have the parenthesis when you're talking about Mr. Darcy.

Mr. Darcy is a handsome guy (of course) otherwise we wouldn’t be talking about him. Turns out he’s also wealthy (of course).

My judgment would say to seperate both with commas, to have it read out as, "Mr. Darcy is a handsome guy, of course, otherwise we wouldn't be talking about him." I don't think you need the second of course either, it just seems out of place.

I have watched Pride and Prejudice, so I know how the story goes. I'm sure that there are other mistakes that I glanced over, but it's hard to pick out when you love the story [and are also tired]. I love that you put this up, it's wonderful. XP Keep it up!

Wolfdra

Well spoken, truly. It's the harsh truth we all seem to face, but no one seems to understand enough to quit pursuing the "asshole".

So do you see the problem here? Your mom told you the kid at the playground who pushed you down did it because he likes you. Well guess what. The kid at the playground pushed you down because he’s an asshole.

Honestly, that line is perfect. Sounds like something my dad would say to me. Or something a dad would say to a daughter.
I really liked this, just because I have the same perspective on this issue that you do. But I actually did laugh a little at that part above, because it was just very blunt and honest. Thanks for putting the truth out there! : )

I rather enjoyed this! I especially liked the ending

I am the guy who is always helping people up. so i officially love you and thank you so much for having the guts to say it outright. I hope whatever caused you to write this gets solved immediately because having the guts to stand up to social norms is inspiring. great job. Thank you