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Young Writers Society


Shake it off off off.



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65 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 816
Reviews: 65
Wed Oct 26, 2011 10:18 am
Fizz says...



Her lip twitched. It twitched. It twitched and twitched and twitched. It twitched. It twitched. She twitched. It twitched. She sat still. She fidgeted. It twitched.

Caffeine is a drug. Cocaine is a drug. Drugs are drugs are drugs are drugs. Drugs. Drugs can make you twitch, twitch. Caffeine can stop you from sleeping. Not sleeping makes you tired. Tired. Being tired impairs your brains ability to function. So you drink more caffeine. You drink caffeine to function because you had so much caffeine you couldn’t sleep so you couldn’t function. You couldn’t function. You twitched. You twitched and drank coffee and slept fitfully. You slept twitching. You dreamt fitful dreams of coffee and you twitched. You slept and twitched.

Her back was sore. She had sat too long on the same chair. Her lip twitched, and her back hurt, and she had too much caffeine to sleep, just enough to twitch and hurt and sit. She thought about breathing. She didn’t know how to breathe, did she? She couldn’t remember what normal breathing felt like. Breathe, breathe, breathe, how do you breathe and think? How do you breathe and twitch twitch twitch? How do you live and twitch and breathe and hurt? She stopped thinking about breathing but now she knows and she has to think about breathing and twitching. She shouldn’t have thought about forgetting to think. She shouldn’t have twitched and drank the coffee and sat too long and hurt her back. She shouldn’t have twitched and drank the coffee and forgotten how to think normally. How do you think at the right speed and not twitch?

She frowned. She clenched her jaw. She thought about frowning and jaw clenching. She tried to relax her face but couldn’t. She couldn’t stop pulling that funny face, she could only clench and unclench and reclench. She shut her lips with her hands. She tapped on her nose. And tapped on her nose. She shook her head and tapped her nose. She shut her lips with her hands. She cracked her knuckles. She drank coffee and raced and raced. She raced and thought and clenched her face and she twitched. She wrote and twitched and raced raced raced raced raced raced raced raced. She wrote to stop racing, to write about racing to stop racing. To stop racing racing racing racing. To stop racing and twitching twitching twitching twitching.
  





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22 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 1194
Reviews: 22
Wed Oct 26, 2011 10:44 am
Lornydoo says...



If you dont mind me asking ....... What type of writing is this? (poem , story , song ect)

I think that its pretty deep .... but not too deep.
I love the way you repeat the words... In my head the repeated words are being said really fast...

Lorna
xx
I Believe That A Writers Life Is Much More Exciting Then Anyone Else's! xx
  





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65 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 816
Reviews: 65
Wed Oct 26, 2011 11:08 am
Fizz says...



I don't think it fits in to any kind of writing. Probably because it makes no sense. Have you ever been in that state of mind where your thoughts...'race and race and race'? and you can't sit still, and you can't calm down and you just get filled with so much nervous energy that you could probably run a marathon? Well that is how I felt when I wrote this. I have a bit of a thing about repetitions. After a certain amount of repetitions something just seems...right? So when I wrote this in all of 3 seconds to expend some energy, I just wrote some words until they seemed right. Right right right. You know what I'm saying? Craziness, yo'
  





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84 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 1148
Reviews: 84
Wed Oct 26, 2011 11:13 am
briggsy1996 says...



Hi there,
This was interesting and ... amusing? to read. Not that the content was amusing, but the repetitive words were. It brought to life the inner workings of this person's thoughts. In my opinion that was really well done. Also the title, with its repetitiveness, was well thought out.
The story (poem? I'm not sure what to call it) itself has a dreary feel to it- but it was cool to read. I can definitely see where you were going with this.
Overall, well written, and very interesting.
Nice work, and happy writing :)
-Briggsy
but the sky is love and i am for you
just so long and long enough
-E.E. Cummings
  





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29 Reviews



Gender: Male
Points: 2005
Reviews: 29
Wed Oct 26, 2011 4:36 pm
Crow29 says...



Whoa, need to get it together after that one. To be honest, this piece is demented. And that's what I love about it! It has no form, no real rules, you can't categorise it into anything. If I could see into the mind of a caffeine addict, I think it would be something like this. Deffinitely has had an effect on me- my writing seems quite boring now really. And I think I'll be sticking to decaf from now on...
Good stuff!
Crow29
At the end of the day, when the sun is gone and the light is lost, the shadows will play.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fV9IJVoFR_Q
  








sometimes i don't consider myself a poet but then i remember that i literally write poetry
— chikara