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Mutts - Enemies



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Wed May 28, 2008 10:48 pm
GryphonFledgling says...



The Mutts pieces don't have to be read in order. They're written in random order out of a list of 100 one-word prompts in a challenge found on LiveJournal (PM me for link if interested). They don't follow any particular pattern and no characters repeat, so you can read in any order.

1/30/08

022 – Enemies

Kathy hadn’t believed in Mutts. She had grown up hearing stories about them and how they were cannibals because of genetic malfunction and how they kidnapped young men and women for breeding partners. Kathy hadn’t believed any of ii. But here she was, being driven down a dark tunnel in the back of an electric van, staring at another girl her age and two large men. But these weren’t human. She had been kidnapped by the Mutts.

The girl was eyeing Kathy with evident disgust.

“She’s so skinny.”

Kathy glared. She was in good shape. But the girl looked like she was on steroids. Broad-shouldered and tall, she probably could have broken Kathy in half if she wanted to. The men were even more frightening. With hairy arms and thick features, they looked like body builders who hadn’t shaved in a while.

Kathy suddenly began crying. She had been trying to be brave the whole time, to be ready to escape and be alert for the opportunity. But now she began to panic. Her breath came faster and faster, until she was hyperventilating. One of the men moved forward, but she shied away from him and pressed her hands to her mouth, trying to stop the frantic panting. The other girl snorted.

“You really think this is mate material, Devon?”

The Mutt Devon, the younger of the two males it seemed, put his hands up defensively.

“Don’t look at me. She was Jen’s choice.” He pointed to the older male. Jen, who was driving, shrugged a little.

“Did you see anyone better? At least she’s not a skeleton. Don’t underestimate her. Wide hips, perfect for pregnancy.”

Kathy shrank back into her seat. She was a breeder. She wasn’t sure what was worse: death or rape.

“She’ll do fine,” Jen continued. “I could remind you of your reaction when we found you.”

The girl snorted again, but she shifted uncomfortably. Kathy continued to pant into her hands. What did that mean? The girl spoke defensively

“At least I’m full-blooded, with a full-blooded mate. Carter told me that half-bloods prefer humans. Weaker blood.”
There was a rough growling, just audible over Kathy’s muffled breathing. She thought it was the van when she remembered that electric vehicles ran silent. The growling was coming from Jen. Kathy stared at him with wide, tear-filled eyes. He was watching straight ahead as he drove, but his lip was lifted slightly and the hair at the base of his neck was standing up a little. Kathy’s breathing began to come faster.

The trip was long and the other Mutts would fall asleep now and again, but not Jen. Ever time the girl and Devon would close their eyes, Kathy’s heart would quicken. Maybe she could leap out the back doors. But there was always Jen, his burly hands engulfing the steering wheel, staring steadfastly ahead. Once, when the other two Mutts were both asleep, he spoke.

“We’re not going to hurt you, you know.” His voice sounded like snarling. Kathy didn’t reply, but he continued anyway.

“Technically, you’re mine, but you don’t have to choose me.”

That sent crippling chills down Kathy’s spine. She wouldn’t be able to escape now, even if the chance came. Her legs were wet noodles.

“You don’t ever have to choose if you don’t want to, but you can’t leave. It’s the only way we can survive, you know.”

There was a moment of silence, then, “You’ll be happier here.”

Kathy didn’t reply. She barely heard him. Devon had woken up and Kathy’s panicked breathing had begun again.

“Are you ready to switch,” Devon asked Jen. The bigger man nodded a little. He slowly braked the van and got out of the driver’s seat. He didn’t open the door, just crawled through the vehicle. Devon stayed where he was, watching Kathy, until Jen got into his seat. Then Jen watched her while Devon got into the driver’s seat. Kathy continued to try to stifle her frantic breathing. She was feeling lightheaded . Jen watched her for a while, never blinking, then shook the other girl awake.

“Cal, did you bring the pills?”

The girl muttered a little as she slowly woke and smiled at Jen. Then she seemed to completely wake and she scowled.

“What?”

“The pills. The purple ones.”

With a sigh that was almost a growl, Cal reached for a plastic box with an army symbol on the top and flipped the lid open. She rummaged in it for a while, then pulled out a little foil packet. She tossed it to Jen, then rolled over a little in her seat and closed her eyes.

Jen ripped the packet open and snapped the purple pill in half between his thick fingers. He offered it to Kathy. She pulled away from it. Jen suddenly reached forward and grabbed the back of her head, so fast that he had forced her mouth open and placed the pill at the back of her tongue before she could react. She was forced to swallow. Then Jen let her go and sat back.

“Nice trick,” Cal said from her curled up position. She was peeking over her shoulder. Her eyes glittered in the shadow.

Kathy was feeling clamer. Her breathing began to slow. The beating of her heart in her ears was fading and suddenly everything seemed painfully loud without the buffer.

“What was that?” Kathy’s voice sounded hollow to herself.

“A sedative. You can go to sleep now.”

Kathy was about to say that she wasn’t tired, then her eyelids felt heavy. She became aware of a soft, thick scent that was warm and comforting. Then she fell asleep.

She woke to Jen shaking her shoulder.

“Wake up. We’re almost there. Here.”

With a giant thumb, he pulled her chin down and put the second half of the pill in her mouth. Kathy swallowed. It left a bitter taste in her mouth.

Cal was driving now, strangling the steering wheel in a death grip and leaning over it with a hawk-like expression. Devon was bouncing his leg impatiently. Jen was not sitting next to Kathy, his great bulk pressed against her side. The muscles in his arm were hard and pronounced. Kathy tried to scoot away. Her heart was racing in her ears and sweat was oozy out of her pores. But there was that comforting scent. Somehow it was calming her down. But her muscles refused to relax.

The van slowed silently to a stop and Cal jumped out. Up ahead, illuminated by the headlights, was a group of people. More Mutts. Kathy watched through the windshield as Cal ran toward a large male and leaped into his arms, pressing her mouth to his in a passionate kiss. Kathy tried again to move away from Jen. What were they expecting of her?

“Listen. You don’t have to choose yet. But you need to stay close to me.”

Kathy just nodded. The sedative was beginning to work at her again and had stolen her ability to be afraid. Jen took old of her arm in his big hand. Kathy didn’t like it, but she couldn’t find the willpower to pull it away. So she let him lead her out of the van.

Outside, the Mutts were almost completely silent. They were milling about everywhere in the vehicle’s headlights, but they conversed in whispers and their footsteps made no sound. Kathy looked past the pale faces in the lights, trying to see where she was. But there was nothing. Shadow and darkness dominated. She looked up, hoping for stars or the moon, something familiar. But instead, there was rock. They were underground somehow. All around was that faint odor that Kathy couldn’t identify, but was soothing.

Then Cal pointed her out and all activity ceased. Eyes grew wide as they followed her progress. A little girl ran up to Kathy and buried her face in Kathy’s knee. Jen pushed the little girl away. Kathy shuddered a little. Had the child been sniffing her? She wouldn’t be entirely surprised, but it was odd.

In fact, it appeared that most of the gathering was smelling her. They inhaled deeply through their nostrils, every one. A few’s noses were wrinkled, as if she offended them somehow. Maybe she did smell bad to them. They didn’t smell like anything. Unless… unless that comforting scent was… them.

Jen led Kathy towards a set of doors set in the wall of the cave. They looked like they had been cobbled together from junk, yet they appeared formidable. But they were open now and there was some sort of light emanating from inside. Kathy walked dumbly towards the opening. Here she went into a Mutt compound, into Hell.

---

I must say that this is my least favorite of my Mutt pieces. *sigh* I like it so little that I don't want to mess with it any more. I hope you all liked it! Hit it with your best shot if you didn't. Or even if you did... I'll fix it one day...
I am reminded of the babe by you.
  





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Gender: Male
Points: 1382
Reviews: 237
Thu May 29, 2008 1:35 pm
Teh Wozzinator says...



GryphonFledgling wrote:The Mutts pieces don't have to be read in order. They're written in random order out of a list of 100 one-word prompts in a challenge found on LiveJournal (PM me for link if interested). They don't follow any particular pattern and no characters repeat, so you can read in any order.

1/30/08

022 – Enemies

Kathy hadn’t believed in Mutts. She had grown up hearing stories about them and how they were cannibals because of genetic malfunction and how they kidnapped young men and women for breeding partners. I love this sentence, how you didn't use comma's. It seems more suspenseful. Kathy hadn’t believed any of ii. Simple typo here. I believe you mean "it". But here she was, being driven down a dark tunnel in the back of an electric van, staring at another girl her age and two large men. But these weren’t human. She had been kidnapped by the Mutts.

The girl was eyeing I can't remember if you're American or British, or even if this is British spelling..... but in America, it would be "eying." :lol: Kathy with evident disgust.

“She’s so skinny.”

Kathy glared. She was in good shape. But the girl looked like she was on steroids. Broad-shouldered and tall, she probably could have broken Kathy in half if she wanted to. The men were even more frightening. With hairy arms and thick features, they looked like body builders who hadn’t shaved in a while.

Kathy suddenly began crying. She had been trying to be brave the whole time, to be ready to escape and be alert for the opportunity. But now she began to panic. Her breath came faster and faster, until she was hyperventilating. One of the men moved forward, but she shied away from him and pressed her hands to her mouth, trying to stop the frantic panting. The other girl snorted.

“You really think this is mate material, Devon?”

The Mutt Devon, the younger of the two males it seemed, put his hands up defensively.

“Don’t look at me. She was Jen’s choice.” He pointed to the older male. Jen, who was driving, shrugged a little.

“Did you see anyone better? At least she’s not a skeleton. Don’t underestimate her. Wide hips, perfect for pregnancy.”

Kathy shrank back into her seat. She was a breeder. She wasn’t sure what was worse: death or rape.

“She’ll do fine,” Jen continued. “I could remind you of your reaction when we found you.”

The girl snorted again, but she shifted uncomfortably. Kathy continued to pant into her hands. What did that mean? The girl spoke defensively Why is there a paragraph skip here?

“At least I’m full-blooded, with a full-blooded mate. Carter told me that half-bloods prefer humans. Weaker blood.”
There was a rough growling, just audible over Kathy’s muffled breathing. She thought it was the van when she remembered that electric vehicles ran silent. The growling was coming from Jen. Kathy stared at him with wide, tear-filled eyes. He was watching straight ahead as he drove, but his lip was lifted slightly and the hair at the base of his neck was standing up a little. Kathy’s breathing began to come faster.

The trip was long and the other Mutts would fall asleep now and again, but not Jen. Ever time the girl and Devon would close their eyes, Kathy’s heart would quicken. Maybe she could leap out the back doors. But there was always Jen, his burly hands engulfing the steering wheel, staring steadfastly ahead. Once, when the other two Mutts were both asleep, he spoke.

“We’re not going to hurt you, you know.” His voice sounded like snarling. Kathy didn’t reply, but he continued anyway.

“Technically, you’re mine, but you don’t have to choose me.”

That sent crippling chills down Kathy’s spine. She wouldn’t be able to escape now, even if the chance came. Her legs were wet noodles.

“You don’t ever have to choose if you don’t want to, but you can’t leave. It’s the only way we can survive, you know.”

There was a moment of silence, then, “You’ll be happier here.”

Kathy didn’t reply. She barely heard him. Devon had woken up and Kathy’s panicked breathing had begun again.

“Are you ready to switch,” Devon asked Jen. The bigger man nodded a little. He slowly braked the van and got out of the driver’s seat. He didn’t open the door, just crawled through the vehicle. Devon stayed where he was, watching Kathy, until Jen got into his seat. Then Jen watched her while Devon got into the driver’s seat. Kathy continued to try to stifle her frantic breathing. She was feeling lightheaded . Jen watched her for a while, never blinking, then shook the other girl awake.

“Cal, did you bring the pills?”

The girl muttered a little as she slowly woke and smiled at Jen. Then she seemed to completely wake and she scowled.

“What?”

“The pills. The purple ones.”

With a sigh that was almost a growl, Cal reached for a plastic box with an army symbol on the top and flipped the lid open. She rummaged in it for a while, then pulled out a little foil packet. She tossed it to Jen, then rolled over a little in her seat and closed her eyes.

Jen ripped the packet open and snapped the purple pill in half between his thick fingers. He offered it to Kathy. She pulled away from it. Jen suddenly reached forward and grabbed the back of her head, so fast that he had forced her mouth open and placed the pill at the back of her tongue before she could react. This last sentence seems too fast. She was forced to swallow. Then Jen let her go and sat back.

“Nice trick,” Cal said from her curled up position. She was peeking over her shoulder. Her eyes glittered in the shadow.

Kathy was feeling [s]clamer[/s]. Calmer. Her breathing began to slow. The beating of her heart in her ears was fading and suddenly everything seemed painfully loud without the buffer.

“What was that?” Kathy’s voice sounded hollow to herself.

“A sedative. You can go to sleep now.”

Kathy was about to say that she wasn’t tired, then her eyelids felt heavy. She became aware of a soft, thick scent that was warm and comforting. Then she fell asleep.

She woke to Jen shaking her shoulder.

“Wake up. We’re almost there. Here.”

With a giant thumb, he pulled her chin down and put the second half of the pill in her mouth. Kathy swallowed. It left a bitter taste in her mouth. ??? Does this half not have sedatives??

Cal was driving now, strangling the steering wheel in a death grip and leaning over it with a hawk-like expression. Devon was bouncing his leg impatiently. Jen was not This doesn't make any sense. I believe that the "not" was a typo...? sitting next to Kathy, his great bulk pressed against her side. The muscles in his arm were hard and pronounced. Kathy tried to scoot away. Her heart was racing in her ears and sweat was oozy out of her pores. But there was that comforting scent. Somehow it was calming her down. But her muscles refused to relax.

The van slowed silently to a stop and Cal jumped out. Up ahead, illuminated by the headlights, was a group of people. More Mutts. Kathy watched through the windshield as Cal ran toward a large male and leaped into his arms, pressing her mouth to his in a passionate kiss. Kathy tried again to move away from Jen. What were they expecting of her?

“Listen. You don’t have to choose yet. But you need to stay close to me.”

Kathy just nodded. The sedative was beginning to work at her again and had stolen her ability to be afraid. Jen took old of her arm in his big hand. Kathy didn’t like it, but she couldn’t find the willpower to pull it away. So she let him lead her out of the van.

Outside, the Mutts were almost completely silent. They were milling about everywhere in the vehicle’s headlights, but they conversed in whispers and their footsteps made no sound. Kathy looked past the pale faces in the lights, trying to see where she was. But there was nothing. Shadow and darkness dominated. She looked up, hoping for stars or the moon, something familiar. But instead, there was rock. They were underground somehow. All around was that faint odor that Kathy couldn’t identify, but was soothing.

Then Cal pointed her out and all activity ceased. Eyes grew wide as they followed her progress. A little girl ran up to Kathy and buried her face in Kathy’s knee. Jen pushed the little girl away. Kathy shuddered a little. Had the child been sniffing her? She wouldn’t be entirely surprised, but it was odd.

In fact, it appeared that most of the gathering was smelling her. They inhaled deeply through their nostrils, every one. A few’s noses were wrinkled, as if she offended them somehow. Maybe she did smell bad to them. They didn’t smell like anything. Unless… unless that comforting scent was… them. Awesome sentence.

Jen led Kathy towards a set of doors set in the wall of the cave. They looked like they had been cobbled together from junk, yet they appeared formidable. But they were open now and there was some sort of light emanating from inside. Kathy walked dumbly towards the opening. Here she went into a Mutt compound, into Hell.

---

I must say that this is my least favorite of my Mutt pieces. *sigh* I like it so little that I don't want to mess with it any more. I hope you all liked it! Hit it with your best shot if you didn't. Or even if you did... I'll fix it one day...


Although I didn't like it as much as many of your others, this would fall closer to the top than the bottom. It was really creepy, which was good. And what I liked the most about it was how you made the Mutts feel really evil at the start... and then almost good guys at the end.

After all, it's not their fault they're Mutts.

I thought it was pretty cool.

Other than what I said before, I don't have any edits. I really liked your dialog.

Now, on a slightly different topic, I like and dislike your changing of the Mutts titles. Since they aren't numbered, it does make sense, but now It's going to be a lot harder to figure out which I've read and which I haven't. So if you could please PM me (just a reminder, thanks for doing it till now) for each one, with the title of the topic the same as the title of the message. That way even if I'm gone and two come out, I'll know the order.

I know you're not worried about order, but it's just easier to follow online.

Thanks,

Teh Wozzinator
Go K-State for North Division!!
  








It's unsettling to know how little separates each of us from another life altogether.
— Wes Moore, The Other Wes Moore