This is really good, and very touching in some places. There's not much you could do to improve it to be honest. I agree that you should cut the "It is over" and leave it as just "1" though. I also think you should change the numbers to actual words, so the reading lasts longer, giving it more effect.
I would also suggest, and I think someone else mentioned this, that you should describe the sky when the lady looks out the window. Also maybe some random stray dogs?
Good luck with your scholarship!
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Points: 890
Reviews: 8