Young Writers Society

Hell found me. I was being chased by the sentinels,i felt the hard ground,an smelt the decaying bodies around me,an saw no hope no chance,we were fighting a losing war i knew that, i was wearing faded dark blue jeans which had loads of holes in them, an a white vest which was soaking with sweat, an also some grey body amour, an across both shoulders amunnition straps, an plus a belt with all types of grenades, shaking as i ran , an i was wearing black Nike trainers,which had been seen better days, probably the last Nike trainers ever, But Josh and Me still ran,. Josh was tall had a goatee blue eyes an a strong build, he wore a bandanna, an had an eye patch on the left eye
"Hey Daniel you think we are gonna live"he asked
"Coarse we are Josh" i said knowing the truth we are not,
suddenly i heard a load buzz, before i could shout get down Josh he got shot by a flying drone their was nothing left only dust "Dam you,fucken bastard, I took out my laser machine gun an shot any that came near me, sweat coming down my face tear coming out my eyes,suddenly my gun stopped I looked down at the core of the gun an saw two horrible words flashing on the battery pack, I looked at the words not believing, not wanting to, but it just kept on flashing power low ,I quickly dived behind a destroyed tank an collapsed thinking this would not have happened if I had been a bit braver.

It all begun long ago in 2006. I was a scientist working on Robotics we were creating a robot as smart as a human. It could do all things humans do except eat. The project was called Project Robosapien. I was a young scientist named Professor Daniel Moore, aged 19. We were close to a breakthrough so I quickly got out my room in the lab. We had to sleep in the lab every night in case a breakthrough was made.

I quickly brushed my short black hair got changed and looked at myself in the mirror. I was not a god gift really but I was me I was quite tall medium build and I was Albino. I hated having these red eyes and no pigment in my skin. I rushed off so fast that almost bumped into Jack, our janitor. "Hold your horses, young man! You almost ran me over," shouted Jack angrily. Jack was not so bad but he just got angry easily. He was American with a hint of an Irish accent and over 60 years old. Strong build but getting slow in his old age and grumpy.

"Sorry Jack," I replied quickly.

"Well don't let it happen again," he replied grumbling under his breath.

I ran on not stopping at all, when I slipped on my coat and fell. I went to pick myself up when I noticed Teresa came walking past. I knew I had no chance but I could not help gawking. She was a student from University who had beautiful blue eyes, a sexy build, and a smile which I loved. I was daydreaming about her when suddenly, she said politely, "Need a hand Daniel?"

I returned back to earth from my day dream, "No Teresa, I just fell over again," I replied, happily blushing.

"Okay, if you're sure Daniel and also, Daniel, don't think just because you're an albino that you have to be shy and scared. I have always had a soft spot in my heart for you. Oh look at the time. I better get to the lab," she said, quickly blushing."

I stood their gawking. "Did I hear right?" I thought.

*blinks*

Please. PUNCTUATION IS YOUR FRIEND, as is grammar. Check those before you post so we can actually make sense of this..

Is there more to this story?

It would be a lot easier to read if properly punctuated. I didn't really understand it because I didn't know where one sentence began and where the other ended.

If you could clean up the punctuation, I'd be happy to read it again.

I did like how it turned out just to be a day dream.

*ahem*

Hell found me. I was being chased by the sentinels, but this would not have happened if I was a bit braver. It all begun long ago in 2006. I was a scientist working on Robotics we were creating a robot as smart as a human. It could do all things humans do except eat. The project was called Project Robosapien. I was a young scientist named Professor Daniel Moore, aged 19. We were close to a breakthrough so I quickly got out my room in the lab. We had to sleep in the lab every night in case a breakthrough was made.

I quickly brushed my short black hair got changed and looked at myself in the mirror. I was not a god gift really but I was me I was quite tall medium build and I was Albino. I hated having these red eyes and no pigment in my skin. I rushed off so fast almost bumping into Jack, our janitor. "Hold your horses, young man! You almost ran me over," shouted Jack angrily. Jack was not so bad but he just got angry easily. He was American with a hint of an Irish accent and over 60 years old. Strong build but getting slow in his old age and grumpy.

"Sorry Jack," I replied quickly.

"Well don't let it happen again," he replied grumbling under his breath.

I ran on not stopping at all, when I slipped on my coat and fell. I went to pick myself up when I noticed Teresa came walking past. I knew I had no chance but I could not help gawking. She was a student from University who had beautiful blue eyes, a sexy build, and a smile which I loved. I was daydreaming about her when suddenly she said politely, "Need a hand Daniel?"

I returned back to earth from my day dream, "No Teresa, I just fell over again," I replied, happily blushing.

"Okay, if you're sure Daniel and also, Daniel, don't think just because you're an albino that you have to be shy and scared. I have always had a soft spot in my heart for you. Oh look at the time. I better get to the lab," she said, quickly blushing."

I stood their gawking. "Did I hear right?" I thought.

Copy this and paste it for you entry. That way, people will be able to understand what you're trying to say. Expect a grammar lesson coming from me soon.

Is this for that thing that is being advertsied on this site (write a story starting with 'hell found me'?).

Yeah i thought what the hey may as well

Heh, i was going to do something very similar to this... only... eh...
And i do belive robots will be like... that... gah sorry it's early here... it's 10 there i know but it's 4 here... YAWWWWWWWWN!! nice work but yeah, grammar and stuff just isn't your thing.

I picked myself up an ran as fast as I could, taking quick glances at me watch,when I got to the door.
I look at the watch I had 15 minutes. "phew I let out a sigh of relief, I opened the door an heard a booming voice
shouting "Your Late"loadly.
I stood their flabbergasted the shock melting in,I looked at me watch it had stopped.
Time froze it seemed anyway until i screamed "Shit!!!!!!!!!! loadly".

I walked in the room, but the room seemed bigger, an the head scientist seemed to be giantes.
I sat down nervous sweat falling from my face, i quickly wiped it away.
"Well Daniel, glad you decided to join us" said one nearest me, yes about time said the man at the top of the table.
His name was Clive Dunass he had been a wrestler i had been told, but injured himself badly, he was a well built man an aged about 40, with big biceps, an a tatoo of a dragon on his arm.
I looked sheepish "Sorry, my watch stopped"i replied.
"Well just don't be late again" I let out a huge sigh of relief.
"Well where were we".........

Hey, haven't we had the daydream stuff soooooooooooooooo many times???
And Snoink's version does look a lot better.

PunCtuATion!!! Can't stress that enough. But seeing as how others have already dealt with that...

You need to work on your sentence structure. In the first part, you keep on making the sentence longer and longer by adding "ands" everywhere. If you want to describe something vividly, then you need to do just parts at a time and keep the sentences small.

The part where Teresa speaks sounds hashed. Don't have her say directly that she likes Jack. Rather, add subtle gestures that shows she likes him. Like, say she blushed when he ran into her. Say how she made sure her lab jacket was on straight and her hair looked good. Stuff like that makes it very clear that she likes Jack, and it adds more mystery to the story.

As for title, don't know since I'm not sure what the story is about quite yet. But "Project Robosapien," or just "Robosapien" may do.

this has great potential , and is a very good start, but as brian stressed PUNTUATION, and spell check would be nice. i love the story line, but i beleive that josh as one of your main charachters was killed off way to soon. we barely get to meet him, but then BAM! just like that hes gone, vaporized by the deadly robotic creatures your yourself helped create (just wandeirng off topic srry). its not good to kill of your main characters, it was too soon, but this is a very good start, i think you should continue this.