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Spatial Awareness



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Mon Jan 25, 2010 8:00 am
Dubaian says...



Currently just a Synopsis, I know it isnt much yet, but I will add in the chapters here when I write them. Enjoy my Sci Fi Comedy :P.


Spatial Awareness

Synopsis

Four old friends decide to leave their boring, mundane and repetitive jobs to take a plunge into the dangerous side of life, galactic law enforcement. Seeking fame, fortune, and hot babes beyond count, they pool their funds, along with their egos, to purchase a spaceship capable of taking on all kinds of intergalactic criminals and space-scum.

Soon however, the team realise their new career is not all fun and games. Finding themselves between a rock and an asteroid field, they attempt to bring justice to lawbreakers across the galaxy.



More will come :)
Dub.
  





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Mon Jan 25, 2010 8:02 am
Crispy2 says...



Its a bit short... But I do like the idea, and where you are going with this. Must mail me if you come up with any more!

Keep up the imaginative work!

Chris
  





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Mon Jan 25, 2010 8:09 pm
BenFranks says...



Hey there.
I like the ideas for plot you have down here. I think you need to have a solid idea of where you're going to head in terms of main-crisis etc for plot development after they decide to "bring justice to lawbreakers across the galaxy".
Like Crispy2 said; when you get the first chapter or prologue down, give me a mail and I'll review it for you in terms of language, plot development and character.
Ben.
  





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Sun Jan 31, 2010 5:36 am
Hippie says...



Soon however, the team realise their new career is not all fun and games. Finding themselves between a rock and an asteroid field, they attempt to bring justice to lawbreakers across the galaxy.

How can I give my opinion on something this vague? What makes them realise it's not all fun and games? What sticky situation do they get into? Details. Details. Details.

Don't get me wrong, I'm up for a Sci-Fi comedy. I love Red Dwarf and Hyperdrive, and if you could pull it off I'd read it for sure. Just avoid vague statements in a synopsis.

And if you want me to review the actual story when you post it I'd be more than happy to. Just ask. I've written some comedy short stories myself, so hopefully I can lend a hand.
Q: Where do you go to buy shoes?

A: At the shoez canal, lol.
  





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134 Reviews



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Sun Jan 31, 2010 5:37 am
Hippie says...



One more thing. Characters make or break a comedy so make sure they have plenty of quirks.
Q: Where do you go to buy shoes?

A: At the shoez canal, lol.
  





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Sun Jan 31, 2010 8:23 pm
shineondiamondeyes says...



Intersting idea. Expand on it, add some description and you got the makings of a good story. But word of advice, don't get to carried away. make sure there is an overall plot and a begining and an end. I find a lot with stories like this they just bag bad guy after bad guy and there is no resolution. Let me now when you get some chapters up, it sounds like its going to be an interesting ride. I'm no god at spelling and grammer but I can edit in the way of plot and characters.

~Shine on diamond eyes
rise and shine
and open up your eyes
to give this world some color
shine on diamond eyes
seperate the space
between love and lies

3393 words
  





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Mon Jun 21, 2010 12:45 pm
Dubaian says...



My apologies for the time lag, it has been a rather busy half a year, but I shall endure. I'm taking all of your points into consideration, and dont worry Hippie, details will be coming!

Dub.
  








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