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Leave Your Shoes (2)



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Sat May 08, 2010 10:39 pm
Evi says...



I realize how long this is, and I apologize profusely, but YWS won't let me post it in another section because of the 48 hour rule and the deadline is tonight. Anyone who reviews earns my eternal worship and a gift!

The stream is a ten minute walk away, and Graham is quiet the entire time, looking down at the potholed pavement so that he doesn’t have to look at the decay of the city. Our house is on one of the back roads, tucked behind what used to be a dentist office—that’s where we found all the toothpaste. We weave through sidewalks littered with glass and derelict houses overrun with ivy, even scrambling on top of a dumpster once to avoid a rabid dog.
All for poisoned water.
At the outskirts of the city there is a steel and concrete skeleton that was, at one point, a grocery store. Graham and I stop there occasionally to see if there’s anyone inside, because hungry kids gather there like insects to honey, even though common sense should tell them that not much there would still be edible. We lose people fast, and the house gets lonely.
By the entrance, we leave the empty milk cartons used for hauling water. The automatic doors don’t work anymore, so Graham and I pry them open to get inside. We roam past the check-out lines, shouting out into darkness. One of the conveyor belts—check-out station number three—is piled high with useless products never to be rung up, and I dig around for the flashlight and batteries we always leave there. We pass the shelves without saying a word.
I stop in front of a specific aisle and take a couple extra seconds to make sure no one’s there.
Graham looks at me curiously. “Why do you always stop here?”
The beam is muted and yellow, illuminating the dust drifting in the air. I angle the light up so that it reveals the sign above the shelves: Aisle 8, Canned Fruit. “Camille—” I swallow. “Camille said that Lora found us here, eating the last can of strained pineapples.”
“Do you remember that? Lora finding you?”
I let the flashlight’s ray fall and we double back to the entrance. There’s no one here. “Not really. But I remember being with Camille after our parents left. I was four. She was seven.”
His dark eyes dart to my face, gauging my expression. “Your parents deserted a seven and a four year old?”
I shrug. “Desperate times call for desperate measures. I guess they couldn’t afford to take us along.”
“That’s despicable,” he says, his voice low. “How can you say that so casually?”
I drop the flashlight back off at the conveyor belt, for next time, and avoid meeting his gaze. “People do what they have to do to survive. I would.”
“Not if it meant abandoning children to starve! You’d never leave any of the kids, not even to save yourself. You know you wouldn’t.”
I squeeze through the crack between the doors, and we’re back outside, stuffy smog closing in on us from every direction. Images of the kids—my family—flicker in the air like mirages. Lisette and Dex, huddled close together, their eyes sunken and their smiles thin. Even crazy Amelia, scratching at the windowpanes. The very thought of leaving them to die makes me sick to my stomach.
“Graham, I don’t see your parents here either.”
“I never knew my dad," he says, kicking a pebble in the road. “And my mom went crazy from the water and killed herself. She used to hide me under the bed to protect me from the things she saw. I listened to her screaming every night—she didn’t desert me. She wouldn't have, if she knew what was happening.”
I hear the fierce loyalty in his voice, a kind of aching devotion that could very well be his fatal flaw. He wants so badly to believe in the good of humanity, and time after time he’s disappointed. That’s why I don’t have expectations. That way, I’m never surprised when the next tragedy hits.
We walk the rest of the way in silence, sunlight glinting off dusty windows. My footsteps and Camille’s shoes scuff on the asphalt as we go.
*
After filling up the buckets, we lug them back through the city streets and to the house. I walk behind Graham, who puts a hand on the doorknob and keeps walking, expecting it to swing open for him. It doesn’t, though, and he runs into the glass, causing me to run into him.
Some water splashes out of the buckets and onto my hand.
“What? It’s locked?”
“Apparently.” Graham rattles the doorknob again, swearing. His dark curls are matted to his head with sweat, and I can feel the beginning of a sunburn on my nose. Lora never locks the door, especially not during the day—there’s no one to block out but the snatchers, and it takes more than a locked door to keep them away.
“Amelia must have done it,” I say. Amelia is seventeen and completely insane from the water. I can see her locking the front door of the house to keep her hallucinatory predators away.
Graham knocks a couple of times; after a pause, he jabs a finger into the doorbell, even though it hasn’t worked for at least a decade. “We’ll have to go around the back. I think there’s a door that leads to one of the basement rooms.”
“Darn,” I murmur, gratefully depositing the cartons of water by the door. “And I was so hoping to crawl through a window.”
Lora’s house is positioned at the top of a hill so that the front door opens up to what we consider the bottom floor, although there’s an angled cellar area underneath. As we circle back around the side of the house, I realize that we’ve completely neglected the back yard. It’s a jungle of weeds and spiky bushes that look carnivorous.
I stumble my way through overgrown shrubs and grasses that brush against my calves as if nature is whispering to me. Bugs buzz around my face, but swatting at them makes me look ridiculous, and so I just squeeze my mouth shut and hope I don't inhale one. Graham looks back at me at one point and chuckles at my pained expression.
The back door Graham was talking about is more like a flimsy piece of wood barely connected to the hinges, with a wasps’ nest located right above. He grimaces and claws at the branches of ivy covering the door.
“Those are probably poisonous,” I state helpfully.
“Lovely,” he says, tugging away a final strand of the stuff and yanking at the doorknob. It swings open with a deafening creak that can probably be heard upstairs. He wipes his hands on his shorts. “I can already feel a rash forming.”
Inside, the air is damp and heavy, as if a condensed thunderstorm has been brewing. I shiver at a draft that sneaks up behind me and raises goose bumps on my arms—I’ve almost forgotten what it’s like to be cold.
Graham runs a hand through his hair. “When’s the last time you were down here?”
“Probably—” I wrack my brain. “Years. It never seemed important.”
“Lora never mentions the basement,” he says. The sleek gray walls and harsh fluorescence remind me of interrogation chambers; my heart is hammering in my chest as we leave the empty hallway.
The next room is besieged by overflowing cardboard boxes, the steps leading upstairs tucked in the back corner. Graham makes his way across the room, side-stepping the trash and memorabilia and sounding like an elephant, but I shake my head.
Voices.
“Stop.” He doesn’t hear me at first; I clear my throat and reach forward to snatch his hand. “Wait. Listen.”
He pauses, and then frowns. The sound is coming from upstairs. “They’re probably making breakfast. It’s nearly eight.”
I wave a hand to shush him. “Just don’t make any noise. That’s a man’s voice.”
“Sav—” He looks at me uncertainly, but I shake my head again. I maneuver around a box of disfigured china dolls; they look out at me through unblinking eyes, their expressions haunting and helpless. Behind them is a stack of books. I don’t recognize any of the titles, but they look like they’ve been gathering dust there for centuries.
Camille’s shoes are silent on the tile as I hop over a shoebox full of pencils and toothpaste, and soon I’m at the foot of the staircase. The voices are clearer now, but I can’t tell exactly what they’re saying—one is Lora, I’m positive, sounding agitated. The other is a man.
Graham appears beside me. A frown is tugging at his lips. “Who could that be?”
Lora starts shouting, and I feel my heart skip a beat. “We have to go help her! It must be a snatcher.”
“But why would she let a snatcher in the house? Savannah, wait!” he hisses at me and lunges to grab my wrist before I get away, but I’m already at the top of the staircase, bursting through the door.
At first the light is blinding, and yellow spots dance before my eyes. When my vision settles, I freeze in the doorway.
It’s a snatcher, alright, adorned in the full white coat and dark sunglasses. Everything about his appearance is severe; he looks like the kind of man who can kill you a thousand different ways with his bare hands.
And he’s sitting at the kitchen table with Lora, drinking coffee.
Graham comes up behind me, careening into the kitchen. He stops abruptly at the sight of the two of them. “Lora?”
Lora has her legs crossed and her lips pursed. Her black hair is pulled back in a loose bun, a few stray strands hanging down in her face. I’m not sure exactly how old she is—she won’t tell us—but I’m sure she’s at least thirty-five. Maybe she’s even forty. I’ve seen her in that exact position before, looking contemplative with her legs crossed at that table, but it’s jarring to see it with a stranger—a snatcher—opposite of her.
“You’re the sister,” he says, nodding towards me.
I wonder if there are other sisters. Other little girls that have had to watch their best friends and guardian angels dragged away by scary men, and had to live with the fact that they stood at the front porch and let it happen. I wish I could hit him. “You took Camille four years ago today.”
He nods again. “She’s alive, you know.”
Lora clears her throat, but I beat her to it. “I don’t believe you,” I growl.
“Don’t you want to find out?” He gives me a small smile, but without being able to see his eyes it looks almost predatory.
Of course I want to find out. I look into his sunglasses, and convince myself that snatchers don’t have souls, so lying to them doesn’t count as a sin. “No. I want you to leave us alone.”
Lora brushes some hair out of her face. “Savannah, be civil.”
I turn to her in disbelief. “Have you finally lost it? Why did you let this thing into the house?” I send him a scathing glare, trying to vaporize him into oblivion with sheer hatred. “Who did you come for this time?”
Now, he shrugs. He also looks like the kind of person who’s more into vague physical gestures than extensive explanation. “You,” he says, and then jerks his head toward Graham, who is standing beside me with his arms crossed. “And the boy.”
“Well, go to hell,” Graham pipes up. I couldn’t have said it better myself.
“Look, I’m just trying to help,” he says, and removes his sunglasses for a moment to polish them with his coat. It gives me just enough time to see his eyes—they’re hazel, and they don’t look like the eyes of a soulless demon. He looks tired. “I’m offering to save you from yourself. I have the antidote.”
I shut the basement door behind us. “The antidote? To what?”
“To the water madness.”
“I don’t believe you,” I repeat, while Graham says, “Where? What is it?”
I turn to him in shock. “You can’t actually be considering this guy.”
Graham uncrosses his arms and walks to the table, standing over the snatcher’s mug. He picks it up and squints into the coffee. After a moment, he takes a careful sip, and then raises an eyebrow at Lora. “No poison?”
She exhales, laughing. Her laugh is scratchy and hollow, like she’s not quite capable of true laughter anymore. “No poison, Graham. I can’t poison him. I don’t want to.”
“Why?” I demand from across the room. I will not step closer to that man. He is the enemy. “Why did you let him in here?”
Lora lifts up her hands and gives me a sad look. “Because he’s my brother.”
Damn. I wasn’t expecting that one. I look at him again, at his impassive expression, looking like he’s perpetually bored. There’s a bit of resemblance, I have to admit. And I have no reason to doubt Lora--she's been everything to me for eleven years. She may not be the most mushy and sentimental person in the world, but she's no liar.
Graham sets the mug back down on the table like the handle is suddenly red-hot. “Excuse me?”
Lora stands up, the chair screeching against the floor, and she places a hand gently on Graham’s back. I see him stiffen under her touch—that wouldn’t have happened ten minutes ago. “You guys need to go with him,” she murmurs. “He really does have the antidote.”
I shake my head clear and step forwards. “Lora. This doesn’t make any sense.”
“You just don’t want to hear it,” she says flatly. I take a sharp breath—Lora doesn’t often reprimand. “I know you’ve wondered how I’m sane. This is it. I’ve been given the antidote.”
“Why are you still in the city, then, if there’s somewhere else with a cure? Why haven’t we been given the antidote yet?” Graham asks.
“If I didn’t stay in the city, I’d never have found you guys. I’m here to make sure there aren’t any abandoned people still wandering around, hungry. I saved your lives.” She starts sounding a little bit defensive, which is completely unnecessary. Lora is my hero.
“I know,” I say. “But if the snatchers have an antidote, why didn’t you give it to us immediately? Why wait until we’re fifteen?”
The man—her brother?—stands up at this point and looks at his watch like we’re wasting his time. “Because you’re not in much actual danger of going insane until you’re at least fifteen. It’s a chemical balancing thing, hormones, biological timing. You wouldn’t be able to follow the explanation. Now, are you coming or not?”
I’m still standing in the doorway, and Graham is still standing over the table. He turns around and looks at me, his lips pulled into a tight line. “I don’t see how we have much of a choice,” he admits.
I eye the snatcher and shuffle forwards a bit. “You say Camille’s okay?”
He removes his sunglasses and smiles. This time, I can believe it. “Your sister is fine. She’s gotten the antidote. You, on the other hand, will not be fine unless you come with me.”
“And…leave Lora behind?” I try to imagine life without Lora. Nothing comes to mind.
He nods. “Lora stays here. She watches out for people—the little ones, Lisette and Dex, and anyone else she finds in the city.”
Graham wraps his arms around Lora, but only briefly, because he’s supposed to be a man now and men don’t hug for long. Even if it’s the woman who cared for him for most of his life. “You seriously want us to go?” he asks softly. “It’s safe?”
Lora smiles and pats him on the back; he’s a head taller than her, easily. “Yes. It’s safe. Why do you think I let them come and take people, over the years?”
I look her in the eyes and realize that they're the same hazel as the man standing beside her. “I love you, Lora. You’ve raised me. But if this backfires, if he hurts us or if they’ve hurt Camille, I will never forgive you.”
“They haven’t. I love you too. Just go,” she mutters, and rubs my arm gently. I give her a hug, but only briefly—if I hug her for too long and think about what on earth is happening, I might get emotional.
Emotion is weakness, Lora said. And I will not be weak.
“I kept you here in the city with me until you were fifteen, because if I gave you away for the antidote right when I found you, I’d be all alone," she whispers in my ear before I pull away.
I think about that as her brother guides us out the front porch and to his white car, parked in front of the sidewalk. We pass the empty flowerbeds where Camille’s shoes landed, four years ago today, and I remember Lora’s three rules for being taken by the snatchers.
Inside the van, I look at the code on the door. I realize that Lora always asked because she was waiting for this one: her brother’s car. It was how she’d be sure he wasn’t in there. I don’t scream, or cry, or make any noise at all as he opens the door for us.
I climb in after Graham, looking back up at the house. It’s home, but it’s also been hell.
Just before he shuts the door behind me, I take off my shoes and fling them across the lawn. I hope Camille won’t want them back.
"Let's eat, Grandma!" as opposed to "Let's eat Grandma!": punctuation saves lives.
  





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Sun May 09, 2010 12:04 am
Rosendorn says...



Evvvi!

One nit-pick:

“I don’t believe you,” I repeat, while Graham says, “Where? What is it?” I turn to him in shock. “You can’t actually be considering this guy.”


New paragraph for "I turn to him in shock."

So you've left me with most of my threads answered. The only one is "what happened before?" but I'm not sure how prominent it is now. But, yeah, it's a little nagging thing in the back of my head and I'm not sure if it's fixable in the span you have.

Where the flashlight got batteries I'm not sure of. Clear that up, maybe?

A weakness in here is the backyard. You spend time on the ivy, but nothing on trying to get through the plants of fend off wasps.

I'd try to smooth out the "I have no reason to doubt Lora" telling. Explain that a bit more, because it sounds like something the MC just said to reassure us instead of saying that to reassure herself. Put in more a reason why she wouldn't have to doubt Lora instead of flat out saying she has no reason to doubt her.

And the fact the snatcher is her brother didn't surprise me. As soon as you mentioned their eyes were the same colour I guessed. The quickest fix would be neglecting to mention Lora has hazel eyes.

The dialogue at the end, when the MC is talking, felt forced. Like you're trying to cram in all the backhistory into the last few lines of dialogue.

You also didn't explain why sweat forming on her back would be a sign for not having much time. That's chipping away at the transition to this segment. I'd suggest making that transition smoother.

Overall I think it's a pretty well written piece! I liked the dialogue (for the most part) and the way everything's structured. The parents leaving kids thing reminds me of some historical fiction that I've read, so props on that.

PM me if you have any questions. ^_^

~Rosey
A writer is a world trapped in a person— Victor Hugo

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Sun May 09, 2010 12:09 am
Elinor says...



Hey Evi!

What's up? I'm going to do what I did for Demeter and do a line-by-line critique of this and then give my general thoughts at the end, alright? It'll be quicker and I'll still be able to get a lot said.

Evi wrote:The stream is a ten minute walk away, and Graham is quiet the entire time, looking down at the potholed pavement so that he doesn’t have to look at the decay of the city.


This sentence is kind of a mouthful to take in. Try to break it up a bit.

Our house is on one of the back roads, tucked behind what used to be a dentist office—that’s where we found all the toothpaste.


This seems a little late to be mentioned now. The toothpaste isn't really that important, so chances are the reader is going to forget about that by now. You might want to put these thoughts next to when you first mention the toothpaste.

We weave through sidewalks littered with glass and derelict houses overrun with ivy, even scrambling on top of a dumpster once to avoid a rabid dog.


I love this sentence. It's got such fabulous description. However, you might want to break up the part after the comma into its own sentence so it doesn't feel so run-on like.

All for poisoned water.


I don't really like this sentence. It might have been good in a third-person story, but this just doesn't really seem like something that your narrator would actually be thinking. She's desperate for water and she's going to do what she needs to do and isn't going to complain about it. Also, it seems like you're just inserting what the reader is automatically be thinking after they read the first couple of sentences in this part.

because hungry kids gather there like insects to honey.


Why do they? If it's old, and there still is food left, I doubt that any of it is going to be good. Or is it just somewhat of a hangout for them? Expand.

someone had closed them since we last came.


This is somewhat redundant. Automatic doors are always going to be closed unless someone opens. Besides, if the narrator and Graham have to pry them open, I think we can assume that they'll be closed.

I'm going to stop here for a minute. I've read the next couple of paragraphs and I'm beginning to wonder how old the grocery store is. For being "ruined" it still seems to be in pretty good shape. Right now I'm thinking it's maybe 10-20 years old? You might want to clear things up, because at first I thought it was old, like 75-100 years or so.

“Desperate times call for desperate measures. I guess they couldn’t afford to take us along.”
“That’s despicable,” he says, his voice low. “How can you say that so casually?”
“People do what they have to do to survive. I would.”
“Not if it meant abandoning children to starve! You’d never leave any of the kids, not even to save yourself. You know you wouldn’t.”


I really like this exchange of dialogue. It's powerful and it seems like a realistic conversation that two people would have. What I think you could do is give us more of the narrator's thoughts during this. I've been in a similar situation of discomfort like this, but still, you might want to try and make her and the situation she's in a little bit more relate-able.

“And my dad was taken by the snatchers after that.


I thought the snatchers only took fifteen year olds? Or have I misread something?

Camille’s shoes scuffing on the asphalt.


I think you might want to re-word this part. I know what you're talking about but it made me stop when reading it because I thought Camille was there.

“Amelia must have done it,” I say. Amelia is seventeen and completely insane. I can see her locking the front door of the house to keep her hallucinatory predators away.


This part seems very tell-y. One can be insane in a lot of different ways, and a lot of times it's used jokingly, so try to explain more about this character and how exactly she's insane.

“Those are probably poisonous,” I state helpfully.


Helpfully? Sounds like the opposite to me. I can understand what you're trying to say. It would make a little more sense if you chop off the last bit and have Graham reply to her comment with, "Oh, that helps." You'd still stay the same thing.

I maneuver around a box of disfigured china dolls; they look out at me through unblinking eyes, their expressions haunting and helpless. Behind them is a stack of books. I don’t recognize any of the titles, but they look like they’ve been gathering dust there for centuries.


This is another really good part. I think adds to the mysterious character of Lora and helps create something creepy and shows that this character and her house both have a definite history.

The other is a grown man.


Can you find something else to say for this part? "Grown man" seems like something parents would use to a little boy when chastising him. If you just say "man" we'll know he's an adult. Maybe go more into the details of his appearance. Is he muscular? Intimidating?

“But why would she let a snatcher in the house? Savannah, wait!” he hisses at me and lunges to grab my wrist before I get away, but I’m already at the top of the staircase, bursting through the door.


It would build some suspense if you give her a bit of struggle. Maybe he actually latches on to her hand but she's able to break free.

Everything about his appearance is severe


Hmm, severe doesn't really sound right. It seems more something that you would use to describe an action (e.g. the boy had a severe punishment). Maybe brutal would be better?

He nods again. “She’s alive, you know.”


If this is true, I'm wondering why someone like a snatcher, would try to tell her that. He works for the government, and if they keep them alive, I'm sure that they won't want any revenge-ridden siblings or friends to come after and free them.

I turn to her in disbelief. “Have you finally lost it? Why did you let this into the house?”


This what? Snatcher? I think that's a typo.

Now, I'm going to stop right here and give my general thoughts on the piece! Overall, excellent. I felt like you tied up a lot of loose ends that arose in the first part, like with Lora knowing what to do when the snatchers came to get you. I thought that the ending was nice; you know those movies where pivotal scenes take place with little to know sounds? That's kind of what this felt like.

It was a ton more realistic and I could really sense a bond between Graham and your narrator. The scenes that they argued felt like actual things their characters would say as opposed to bits of dialogue that are just there to move the story along, you know? The pace was just perfect that I could easily follow everything that was going on.

I don't know if you've seen Shutter Island, but it's an awesome movie with a great twist ending, just like this story. I like how you leave it up to interpretation at the end- making us think one way but never actually telling us whether it's true or not. I can see this really getting somewhere. Even if you don't win the contest [I'd be really surprised if you didn't!] continue on with this story. Maybe expand it into a novella or one of those short stories that our like twenty pages long. Once you revise the first half and fix the little things I've mentioned here, I'd like to read it.

I wish you the best of luck in the contest! I'll be curious to hear the results! PM me if you have any further questions.

-Elinor xo

All our dreams can come true — if we have the courage to pursue them.

-- Walt Disney
  





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Sun May 09, 2010 2:29 am
Lava says...



Hello Evi!

I'm not sure if the deadline's done or not.
Well, I'm up again, and I'll look at this. Everyone's done a good thorough reviewing so I'll post a few of my nit picks.

brush against my calves as if nature is whispering to me.
This sentence is a little weird. It sticks out and breaks the flow you've been maintaining. I would say maybe remove the whispering bit.
Graham looks back at me at one point and chuckles and my pained expression.
Shouldn't it be 'at'?
“I know you saved our lives,”
This would sound better if you made it just "I know" and it continues into the next sentence.
Before I pull away, she whispers something into my ear. “I kept you here in the city with me until you were fifteen, because if I gave you away for the antidote right when I found you, I’d be all alone.”
If you reverse the order of sentences it would give a better emphasis on what Lora said. Consider that.

Okay, so this part is tons better than he other. I loved it. Great work of playing with emotions and the theme.

~Lava
~
Pretending in words was too tentative, too vulnerable, too embarrassing to let anyone know.
- Ian McEwan in Atonement

sachi: influencing others since GOD KNOWS WHEN.

  





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Sun May 09, 2010 5:15 am
Navita says...



Okay, so I'm commenting late but I don't care about deadlines, and I really don't think you should care about the 'Extra! Extra!' contest either - though you didn't hear that from me. :P

And that's because I WANNA SEE THIS AS A FULL-BLOWN NOVEL, EVI!!!

Contests, word counts and dealines aside, this is what I'd say would be the first two chapters to a thriller/mystery YA sci fi novel. Lots of genres in one, I know, but you've melted them seamlessly together. I noticed other people had questions for you from the first chapter, but I'd have to agree with Hannah here - I coped perfectly fine with the story and the pace, and the rate at which you revealed certain details about the setting and context, so I wouldn't change it at all. I guess that was because I didn't go into it thinking 'this is going to be a complete piece' - but I liked how you slipped in nuggets of details throughout, and well-spaced.

I see this as mainly plot driven right now, and less character driven, which is why I liked the fact that it was fast-paced, but also noticed that I didn't really know the characters much at all. But since this is the first few chapters (and yes, now I'm hell-bent on seeing this as at least a novella), that's understandable, and I expect that I will come to understand them more from their actions than their thoughts (at the end).

Oh, and in case you're wondering, I actually haven't read the newspaper article at all that you gleaned the idea from - but you'll be pleased to know I figured it out rather quick in any case!

Anyway, a great read, and I WANT TO SEE MORE. :D

PM me whenever you continue on with this, and I'll do more thorough reviews. I just dropped by since I saw this was finally posted.
  





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Sun May 09, 2010 7:10 am
Hannah says...



So, this is not done.
I completely understand that under the time constraint, you didn't have much time to put together a satisfactory ending, but if I don't see a continuation of this story, Evi, I'll be seriously disappointed.

I want to know why Lora didn't let the snatchers take Amelia then, if she's going so crazy! I want to know if Camille's really alive, because although the MC trusts the snatcher's hazel eyes, I did not share her emotion -- you didn't convince the reader to trust. I don't know if anyone else believed in the happy ending, but I didn't.

I want, too, for you to be able to include the other scene, where they find the water that Lora is hiding. The great part about it is that if I can't trust her brother, then of course we can't trust her, and that's why she has that clean water, and then you can go on to describe what it's like where the snatchers are.

It definitely is a brilliant start to something that could be so much more and I really hope you continue with this, Evi.

Please PM me if you want a more detailed review. I'm sorry, too, that I missed getting comments in before the deadline but I was at work!

I LOVE YOU!

-Hannah-
you can message me with anything: questions, review requests, rants
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Sun May 09, 2010 7:35 am
Lava says...



Oui.
You must continue this. (:
~
Pretending in words was too tentative, too vulnerable, too embarrassing to let anyone know.
- Ian McEwan in Atonement

sachi: influencing others since GOD KNOWS WHEN.

  








As a writer, I'm more interested in what people tell themselves happened rather than what actually happened.
— Kazuo Ishiguro