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Midnight Darkness #9 part two



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Mon Nov 26, 2007 10:43 pm
BigBadBear says...



Hey, sorry for posting such a long post. This chapter is really long, so I will post longer sections. Sorry! But I know you just love Midnight Darkness...just kidding. And thanks for reading this far and helping me. It has meant a lot!

____________




He motioned for me to follow him, and I cautiously did. I knew that he was going to lead me to the next Trial, and I didn’t exactly want to go. He had told me it was a test right? He said it was an easy test. How hard could an easy test be?

__________

“Go in here. The men will tell you what to do,” Jonathan said as he pointed to a door on the left of the hall. He had an evil smile playing on his lips and I frowned. What the heck was wrong with him?

I shook my head and followed his instructions. When I got to the door, I slowly slid it open and looked inside the room. Amazingly, it was unlike the rest of the fort. This room was brightly lit and painted with a brilliant white paint. I squinted so that I could see the men standing to the right of the door, talking quietly. I stepped into the room and looked around.

The room was square, and the only things inside of it were a platform in the middle of the terribly room, the men and myself.

As soon as I stepped inside, Jonathan ran to the door and closed it, making sure to lock it. It gave me the feeling that I was trapped. It gave me the feeling that I was in a closed area. My hands became slightly sweaty and I realized that my claustrophobia was once again kicking into actions.

Cautiously, I glanced around the room, noticing the walls which were slowly inching forward, trying to trap me forever. I closed my eyes, feeling beads of water form the corner of my eyes.

Please…please don’t let this happen now. Don’t let me fail this Trial.

“Maxfield!” one of the men called to me angrily. Why was everyone always so angry with me?

Unwillingly, I turned my head to look at the four men in the corner of the room and started to walk towards them taking long strides.

The men were all dressed in white jumpsuits and looking like they would rather be someplace else. So would I. Whenever I took a step, my footsteps would echo off of the closing in walls. It gave the small room a very eerie feeling.

“Maxfield, this is the Instincts Trials. You will be required to prove yourself in these three areas: strength, fear, and speed. This is nothing more than a test. There are, however, rules that apply. You can only fail one of the three criterias. You may only use your werewolf instincts to complete the tests. You cannot transform back to your human self once you have started. Do you understand and comply with the terms?” one of the men asked in a very strict tone.

“That’s a lot to consider. Maybe I should have a day to think about it,” I said in my smart-alecky way. The men didn’t seem to find that very funny because all of their rock hard faces remained as tense and as bored as they were before.

“Ok…” I said slowly, wishing that this awkward silence would end.

“Do you understand and comply with the terms?” the same man asked. I widened my eyes and nodded.

Another man pointed to the platform and said, “Transform and then go and sit on the platform. Wait for instructions.”

I nodded and headed backwards, towards the raised platform. My head was reeling with anticipation. I really wanted to find out what the tests were going to be like. Also, I hoped that it would have nothing to do with eating people, because if I did that again, I would kill myself. Seriously.

_______

Lacy woke up to the sweet, peaceful sound of the waterfall. Her beautiful eyes flickered open to see her dark room, and she yawned. Lacy had made sure that her bedroom was to be next to the waterfall because she found it to be soothing to listen to. The water trickling down rocks also had the same affect, except that just gave her the urge to go to the bathroom.

Lacy yawned again and unraveled herself from her bed sheets. When she was untangled, Lacy ran her fingers through her pitch-black hair and sighed. She knew that Landon’s Trial was today, and wanted to go and watch him. From past experiences, she had learned that the Instincts Trial would be open to the public. The last time that a werewolf had gone through the tests, she watched in horror as the instructors made the werewolf tear through an innocent human. She had turned away in disgust, and vowed never to do that.

Of course, that was impossible. Werewolves need to feed on humans. Lacy knew that.

Carefully, Lacy stepped onto the cold, hard, wooden floor that supported her bed and drawers. She lifted herself onto her feet and grumbled something about being too tired to wake up.

Slowly, she began to dress herself in the Fort’s clothes. The black T-shirt was much too small; whenever she stretched her arms above her head, her belly would show. She didn’t mind it all that much, but preferred longer clothes.

Her stomach growled; a sign of hunger. Lacy sighed and vacuously rubbed it. When was the last time that she had eaten? It must have been lunch the day before. Wow, that seemed like a century ago.

“Come on, Lacy…get ready,” she told herself. Usually, Lacy needed an extra boost in the morning to get up, and today was no different. The only thing that she looked forward to today was watching Landon complete his Trial.

Lacy combed her hair with a brush that she always kept handy. She quickly admired her features in a mirror on the wall and smiled. Ever since yesterday things have been…different, it seemed. Every since that first kiss…Lacy blushed and put the brush down. She grinned at her reflection and sighed. Slowly, she stood up and walked out of her bedroom.

Just down from the showers, where the waterfall was located, there was a group of men, huddled together. Lacy smiled and walked up to them.

“What’s going on now?” she whispered, as if someone would hear her. The men smiled at her and Lacy noticed Jonathan was in the group. He flashed her a grin and shook her hand.

“We were just about to have the first official meeting,” Jonathan said after he had released her hand. Lacy nodded and looked at the other men in the group.

There was Tanner Baker with his long, shaggy hair in his face. He quickly did a little hair flip to remove the hair from his eyes and nodded towards Lacy.

Donald Peterson was also standing there, but he made no friendly attempt to welcome Lacy to the group. He was always like that, Lacy thought. He was always shy, yet powerful.

The last man in the group was a newcomer like Lacy. She hadn’t caught his name, but that could wait for later. He had bright blond hair and a wide toothy grin. He stared at Lacy for a moment and then turned his attention back to Jonathan.

“Let’s all meet up in the Conference Room. We can have some privacy there. Is that all right with everyone?” Jonathan asked politely and Lacy nodded. She wouldn’t want to miss for her life.

“What time?” Tanner Baker asked, flipping his hair to the side again. His green eyes were now focused on Jonathan’s lips, taking in every word he could.

“Can we please do it later? Landon Maxfield’s Trial is going on in a half an hour,” Lacy said, pleading with the group. Jonathan nodded and looked at the other werewolves.

“I also have to be there. You know, because I am Wolfgang’s secretary. I have to be there to record Landon’s progress,” Jonathan commented and the group nodded. They seemed to like having someone younger and wiser being their leader.

Jonathan was elected, Lacy knew, to be the leader of the Rebellion for two reasons. One was because Jonathan knew almost everything about Wolfgang, and two, because he could be a very good leader. He had the qualities and attributes of a hero and the rebels knew that Jonathan would one day become the leader of the pack. The Alpha, in other words.

“Where’s this kid’s Trial taking place?” Donald Peterson asked softly. He had to repeat the question because no one seemed to hear him.

“Right outside of the Dining Hall. You couldn’t miss it.” Lacy said stiffly and then commented, “Well, I have to go. I’ll be sure to be at the meeting.”

“Ok,” Jonathan said and smiled at Lacy, “Meet at the Conference Room an hour after his Trial.”

Lacy turned and started walking towards the Dining Hall. Her stomach had been growling the whole time that she had stopped to talk with the rebels, but her hunger could wait. Rebelling was more important.

After she had pushed the doors open, Lacy saw that the tables were full of food, and she dug in. Meat was her absolute favorite, especially hamburger. Before she was bitten she never really liked any meat, but not to the point that she was a vegetarian. Now, it seemed like all that she would eat was meat.

She ignored the salad bar and fruit and grabbed three bread sticks. Her stomach roaring now, she raced to a free table and literally threw the food down her throat. Her stomach wasn’t satisfied with the meal and moaned for more, but she ignored it. Lacy felt like she needed to loose a few pounds.

After wiping her hands and face off with a napkin, she walked out of the Dining Hall and sat in one of the many chairs that had been set up for Landon’s Trial. The chair was one of the metal folding chairs, but that didn’t bother her. The suspense built up and her eyes were glued to the stage that was covered by a fake wall that would soon rise up when his Trials would start. Oh, please Landon, please don’t mess up, she thought.

_________

I shook my clothes off and transformed into my werewolf body. I noticed that I seemed to get hairier every time that I grew into my monster body, and smiled. It only would make me warmer.

Cautiously, I looked behind me and around the whole room to make sure that no one was watching me. I would just hate that if people were inspecting me. Luckily for me, no one was.

The men were once again huddled in a circle, talking amongst themselves. I stared at them with a bored expression. At least this Trial wouldn’t be nearly as scary as the Valley of Darkness.

Finally, one of the men approached me with a surprised frown on his face. He was scrutinizing my white fur, I assumed. He held a clipboard in his hands and a pencil was attached to it. As soon as he was done looking at me, he picked up the pencil and scribbled something on the piece of paper that the clipboard had attached. I carefully eyed the man, making sure that he wasn’t going to like…attack me or anything. He didn’t.

“This first test will be measured on how strong you are. There will be different ways for us to test, so just do whatever feels natural,” the man said and I nodded my long head. My fur over my eyes was covering up my vision, and I made a note to myself to cut it when this test was over.

The man examined me and took some additional notes, still shocked at my fur color. He shook his head and said, “Let’s begin. Roll feature one!”

I heard a noise behind me and cocked my head sideways so that I could see what was happening. My heart froze as I saw the back wall being lifted up, and a clear glass was all that remained between dozens of rows of people sitting in chairs and myself.

No, no this couldn’t be happening. Not now! I couldn't let them watch me! My chin started to tremble in fear. I was going to mess up…I knew it. There was no way that I would even be able to think now. I was probably as afraid as an elephant would be to a mouse.

Wait…why are elephants afraid of mice? I shook my head. I didn’t need distractions. I needed to focus.

My heart started beating faster. My eyes flickered all over the room, trying to find out what they were going to throw at me. I knew that I would be able to beat it…hopefully.

What could measure my strength? What would they use to test me?

Slowly, a door opened and I jerked my head over to the noise. There, just in the opening of the door, was a werewolf. Fully transformed with black fur made the werewolf seem atrocious. Its eyes burned as black as coal and it snarled.

“The first test is strength. You will need to kill this werewolf in order to continue the Trial,” a voice said, calling out from an intercom.

I backed away from the werewolf. No! No way was I going to kill yet another human!

He’s a werewolf. You have to kill him or you die. There is no other way to get out of the Trial.

I wasn’t afraid of my evil voice this time because I knew that he would talk to me when I was in need of help. And boy, did I need help.

Kill him and get this over with. All you have to do it bite him. You have rabies, remember?

I’d never noticed it before, but the instant that my voice had said that, I felt the frothing. It was unlike anything I had ever experienced before. The froth seemed to build up in my mouth, and whenever I took a breath or blew it out, the froth would fly out.

I was rabid. I can’t believe that I was dumb enough to kiss Lacy!

Don’t procrastinate. Focus on the task at hand. With one bite, you can send him to his grave.

I really hated that voice, but with that one urge, I completely lost control. I seemed to black out and I was sent through my own mind, reflecting my memories.

Remember the feeling you got when you killed your first human? Use your strength and kill this werewolf. He is no different.

My memories flooded into my mind, making me leave all of my physical pain and worries behind.

I was there. I was standing, watching the guitar man. His wife was screaming, but she was no use. I needed this man. I needed his blood.

Drool ran down my chin. My stomach lurched as if it had never been fed before. I needed to kill this guitar man.

Despite that it was winter, I was warm. The woman was screaming at me and I roared at her. That seemed to help. Then, right as the man was distracted, I flung myself on him, ripping out his throat. Wonderful
sensations flowed through my mind and I remembered that feeling. Blood squirted down my chin, flesh dribbling off of my tongue. Oh, what a sweet sensation.
Last edited by BigBadBear on Tue Nov 27, 2007 3:42 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Tue Nov 27, 2007 2:46 am
cat4prowl says...



hmm i didnt think that was long in fact i thought it was short! you're right, this is freaking awesome! i am in a critiquey mood, so beware. ok now for to doing the crit:

bigbadbear wrote:He motioned for me to follow him, and I cautiously did. I knew that he was going to lead me to the next Trial, and I didn’t exactly want to go. He had told me it was a test right? He said it was an easy test. How hard could an easy test be?

__________

“Go in here. The men will tell you what to do,” Jonathan said as he pointed to a door to the left of the hall. He had an evil smile playing on his lips and I frowned. What the heck was wrong with him?

repetitive, maybe try using on in place of the second 'to'.

I shook my head and carried out his instructions. When I got to the door, I slowly slid it open and looked inside the room. Amazingly, it was unlike the rest of the fort. This room was brightly lit and painted with a brilliant white paint. I squinted so that I could see the men standing to the right of the door, talking quietly. I stepped into the room and looked around.

carried out sounds like you're doing his bidding, i think followed would work better

The room was square, and the only things that were inside of it were a platform in the middle of the room, the men and myself.

i think this would sound smoother if you took that part out

As soon as I stepped inside, Jonathan ran to the door and closed it, making sure to lock it also. It gave me the feeling that I was trapped. It gave me the feeling that I was in a closed area. My hands became slightly sweaty and I realized that my claustrophobia was once again kicking into actions.

'also' is un needed and seems to clog up the sentence. repetitive. also, you may want to mention that it is a small room because i was picturing a large one and suddenly he was clausterphobic so i was confused

Cautiously, I glanced around the room, noticing the walls. They were slowly inching forward, trying to trap me forever. I closed my eyes, feeling bead of water swell out of the corner of my eyes.

when i first read this i got the impression that he was admiring wallpaper. maybe combine these two sentences with 'which'

awkward sentence. change the 'bead' to 'beads' in order to agree with the plural 'eyes'. try a different adjective than 'swell'. oceans swell, tears are small


Please…please don’t let this happen now. Don’t let me fail this Trial.

“Maxfield!” one of the men called to me angrily. Why was everyone always so angry with me?

Unwillingly, I turned my head to look at the four men in the corner of the room and started to walk towards them taking very long strides.

sounds strange, maybe 'in long strides' would sound better? not sure

The men were all dressed in white jumpsuits and they all looked like they would rather be someplace else. So would I. Whenever I took a step, my footsteps would echo off of the closing in walls. It gave the small room a very eerie feeling.

repetitive. something like ' all dressed in white jumpsuits and looking...' would make it smoother

“Maxfield, this is the Instincts Trials. You will be required to prove yourself in these three areas: strength, fear, and speed. This is nothing more than a test. There are, however, rules that apply. You can only fail one of the three criterias. You may only use your werewolf instincts to complete the tests. You cannot transform back to your human self once you have started. Do you understand and comply with the terms?” one of the men asked in a very strict tone.

“That’s a lot to consider. Maybe I should have a day to think about it,” I said in my smart-alecky way. The men didn’t seem to find that very funny because all of their rock hard faces remained as tense and as bored as they were before.

ha ha, i loved this part


“Ok…” I said slowly, wishing that this awkward silence would end.

“Do you understand and comply with the terms?” the same man asked. I widened my eyes and nodded.

Another man pointed to the platform and said, “Transform and then go and sit on the platform. Wait for instructions.”

I nodded and headed backwards, towards the raised platform. My head was reeling with anticipation. I really wanted to find out what the tests were going to be like. Also, I hoped that it would have nothing to do with eating people, because if I did that again, I would kill myself. Seriously.

_______

Lacy woke up to the sweet, peaceful sound of the waterfall. Her beautiful eyes flickered open to see her dark room, and she yawned. Lacy had made sure that her bedroom was to be next to the waterfall because she found it to be soothing to listen to. The water trickling down rocks also had the same affect, except that just gave her the urge to go to the bathroom.

nice

Lacy yawned again and unraveled herself from her bed sheets. When she was untangled, Lacy ran her fingers through her pitch-black hair and sighed. She knew that Landon’s Trial was today, and wanted to go and watch him. From past experiences, Lacy had learned that the Instincts Trial would be open to the public. The last time that a werewolf had gone through the tests, Lacy watched in horror as the instructors made the werewolf tear through an innocent human. She had turned away in disgust, and vowed never to do that.

foreshadowing, again... nice. although i would suggest not using 'Lacy' so much. The pronoun 'she' will work just fine as there is only one girl in the fort. not that big of a deal, it was just bugging me

Of course, that was impossible. Werewolves need to feed on humans. Lacy knew that.

Carefully, Lacy stepped onto the cold, hard wooden floor that supported her bed and drawers. She lifted herself onto her feet and grumbled something about being too tired to wake up.

add comma

Slowly, she began to dress herself in the Fort’s clothes. The black T-shirt was much too small; whenever she stretched her arms above her head, her belly would show. She didn’t mind it all that much, but preferred longer clothes.

Her stomach growled; a sign of hungers. Lacy sighed and vacuously rubbed it. When was the last time that she had eaten? It must have been lunch the day before. Wow, that seemed like a century ago.

hunger not hungers. we all know what a stomach growling means, i didnt point that out originally because i thought it could work well as Lacy realizing slowly what it meant as she was in a morning stupor

“Come on, Lacy…get ready,” she told herself. Usually, Lacy needed an extra boost in the morning to get up, and today was no different. The only thing that she looked forward to today was watching Landon complete his Trial.

Lacy combed her hair with a brush that she always kept handy. She quickly admired her features in a mirror on the wall and smiled. Ever since yesterday things have been…different, it seemed. Every since that first kiss…Lacy blushed and put the brush down. She grinned at her reflection and sighed. Slowly, she stood up and walked out of her bedroom.

Just down from the showers, where the waterfall was located, there was a group of men, huddled together. Lacy smiled and walked up to them.

“What’s going on now?” she whispered, as if someone would hear her. The men smiled at her and Lacy noticed Jonathan was in the group. He flashed her a grin and shook her hand.

nice. makes me want to read more. i want to know why jonathan is being friendly to lacy but not to landon.

“We were just about to have the first official meeting,” Jonathan said after he had released her hand. Lacy nodded and looked at the other men in the group.

There was Tanner Baker with his long, shaggy hair in his face. He quickly did a little hair flip to remove the hair from his eyes and nodded towards Lacy.

Donald Peterson was also standing there, but he made no friendly attempt to welcome Lacy to the group. He was always like that, Lacy thought. He was always shy, but yet powerful.

'but' and 'yet' mean the same thing. choose one

The last man in the group was a newcomer like Lacy. She hadn’t caught his name, but that could wait for later. He had bright blond hair and a wide toothy grin. He stared at Lacy for a moment and then turned his attention back to Jonathan.

“Let’s all meet up in the Conference Room. We can have some privacy there. Is that all right with everyone?” Jonathan asked politely and Lacy nodded. She wouldn’t want to miss it worth her life.

very awkward and stilted. something like 'miss it for her life' would work better

“What time?” Tanner Baker asked, flipping his hair to the side again. His green eyes were now focused on Jonathan’s lips, taking in every word he could.

“Can we please do it later? Landon Maxfield’s Trial is going on in a half an hour,” Lacy said, pleading with the group. Jonathan nodded and looked at the other werewolves.

“I also have to be there. You know, because I am Wolfgang’s secretary. I have to be there to record Landon’s progress,” Jonathan commented and the group nodded. They seemed to like having someone younger and wiser being their leader.

Jonathan was elected, Lacy knew, to be the leader of the Rebellion for two reasons. One was because Jonathan knew almost everything about Wolfgang, and two, because he could be a very good leader. He had the qualities and attributes of a hero and the rebels knew that Jonathan would one day become the leader of the pack. The Alpha, in other words.

“Where’s this kid’s Trial taking place?” Donald Peterson asked softly. He had to repeat the question because no one seemed to hear him.

“Right outside of the Dining Hall. You couldn’t miss it.” Lacy said stiffly and then commented, “Well, I have to go. I’ll be sure to be at the meeting.”

“Ok,” Jonathan said and smiled at Lacy, “Meet at the Conference Room an hour after his Trial.”

Lacy turned and started walking towards the Dining Hall. Her stomach had been growling the whole time that she had stopped to talk with the rebels, but her hunger could wait. Rebelling was more important.

After she had pushed the doors open, Lacy saw that the tables were full of food, and she dug in. Meat was her absolute favorite, especially hamburger. Before she was bitten she never really liked any meat, but not to the point that she was a vegetarian. Now, it seemed like all that she would eat was meat.

She ignored the salad bar and fruit and grabbed three bread sticks. Her stomach roaring now, she raced to a free table and literally threw the food down her throat. Her stomach wasn’t satisfied with the meal and moaned for more, but she ignored it. Lacy felt like she needed to loose a few pounds.

ha ha her inner werewolf, again good job!!

After wiping her hands and face off with a napkin, she walked out of the Dining Hall and sat in one of the many chairs that had been set up for Landon’s Trial. The chair was one of the metal folding chairs, but that didn’t bother her. The suspense built up and her eyes were glued to the stage that was covered by a fake wall that would soon rise up when his Trials would start. Oh, please Landon, please don’t mess up, she thought.

_________

I shook my clothes off and transformed into my werewolf body. I noticed that I seemed to get hairier every time that I grew into my monster body, and smiled. It only would make me warmer.

Cautiously, I looked behind me and around the whole room to make sure that no one was watching me. I would just hate that if people were inspecting me. Luckily for me, no one was.

The men were once again huddled in a circle, talking amongst themselves. I stared at them with a bored expression. At least this Trial wouldn’t be nearly as scary as the Valley of Darkness.

Finally, one of the men approached me with a surprised frown on his face. He was scrutinizing my white fur, I assumed. He held a clipboard in his hands and a pencil was attached to it. As soon as he was done looking at me, he picked up the pencil and scribbled something on the piece of paper that the clipboard had attached. I carefully eyed the man, making sure that he wasn’t going to like…attack me or anything. He didn’t.

“This first test will be measured on how strong you are. There will be different ways for us to test, so just do whatever feels natural,” the man said and I nodded my long head. My fur over my eyes was covering up my vision, and I made a note to myself to cut it when this test was over.

The man examined me and took some additional notes, still shocked at my fur color. He shook his head and said, “Let’s begin. Roll feature one!”

I heard a noise behind me and cocked my head sideways so that I could see what was happening. My heart froze as I saw the back wall being lifted up, and a clear glass was all that remained between dozens of rows of people sitting in chairs and myself.

No, no this couldn’t be happening. Not now! I couldn't let them watch me! My chin started to tremble in fear. I was going to mess up…I knew it. There was no way that I would even be able to think now. I was probably as afraid as an elephant would be to a mouse.

Wait…why are elephants afraid of mice? I shook my head. I didn’t need distractions. I needed to focus.

ha, i have often wondered that myself

My heart started beating faster. My eyes flickered all over the room, trying to find out what they were going to throw at me. I knew that I would be able to beat it…hopefully.

flickered sounds like a broken light, flicked maybe?

What could measure my strength? What would they use to test me?

Slowly, a door opened and I jerked my head over to the noise. There, just in the opening of the door, was a werewolf. Fully transformed with black fur made the werewolf seem atrocious. Its eyes burned as black as coal and it snarled.

“The first test is strength. You will need to kill this werewolf in order to continue the Trial,” a voice said, calling out from an intercom.

I backed away from the werewolf. No! No way was I going to kill yet another human!

He’s a werewolf. You have to kill him or you die. There is no other way to get out of the Trial.

I wasn’t afraid of my evil voice this time because I knew that he would talk to me when I was in need of help. And boy, did I need help.

Kill him and get this over with. All you have to do it bite him. You have rabies, remember?

I’d never noticed it before, but the instant that my voice had said that, I felt the frothing. It was unlike anything I had ever experienced before. The froth seemed to build up in my mouth, and whenever I took a breath or blew it out, the froth would fly out.

I was rabid. I can’t believe that I was dumb enough to kill Lacy!

i think you mean kiss? lol

Don’t procrastinate. Focus on the task at hand. With one bite, you can send him to his grave.

I really hated that voice, but with that one urge, I completely lost control. I seemed to black out and I was sent through my own mind, reflecting my memories.

Remember the feeling you got when you killed your first human? Use your strength and kill this werewolf. He is no different.


i like that he is giving in, adds suspense tension and inner struggle

My memories flooded into my mind, making me leave all of my physical pain and worries behind.

I was there. I was standing, watching the guitar man. His wife was screaming, but she was no use. I needed this man. I needed his blood.

Drool ran down my chin. My stomach lurched as if it had never been fed before. I needed to kill this guitar man.

Despite that it was winter, I was warm. The woman was screaming at me and I roared at her. That seemed to help. Then, right as the man was distracted, I flung myself on him, ripping out his throat. Wonderful
sensations flowed through my mind and I remembered that feeling. Blood squirted down my chin, flesh dribbling off of my tongue. Oh, what a sweet sensation.



BEAUTIFUL!!!! if you keep me waiting much longer for the next one i'll... do something. yah. sure. just hurry!!!!!!
  





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Tue Nov 27, 2007 3:34 am
BigBadBear says...



Lol. Thanks so much, Cat. It means a lot to me. I am going to go back and edit the post according to your critique!

BBB
Just write -- the rest of life will follow.

Would love help on this.
  








it's ok, death by laughter was always how i've wanted to go out
— Carina