Young Writers Society

2




No mercy. The headmistress gave me no mercy.

“Sit back down.” She says lazily after my retching has stopped, “you are a lady, you should have more class then that.” I sit back down in the chair, trying to avoid looking at Nate’s photo. I can’t resist, and within three seconds, I’m staring at it, staring at his flawless porcelain skin, his dark hair, which is matted with blood. I wish I had followed him that night. I wonder if I could have stopped whatever happened.

“There is one thing in common with each of these people, Kaede.” Headmistress Tyler says. Her dark blue eyes lock with my brown, she’s egging me to guess.

“They’re all dead?” I ask, semi-sarcastically.

“They were all killed by the mayor.” The headmistress corrects. “It is now your job to make sure the mayor dies.” I stop and stare at her.

“I have to kill him?” I ask slowly. I’m not exactly sure what to think. Half of me wants to run right back to my lumpy cot, half of me wants to take on the challenge, and the other half just wants to curl up and cry for Nate.

I realize that, apparently, I have three halves.

“Yes, Miss Saitama, you must kill the mayor, without him killing you.” The headmistress says. I can’t argue, because the top bitch gets what the top bitch wants.

“yes, ma’am, I say quietly. The headmistress smiles, her beautiful, dark smile.

“From now on, you’ll have a private tutor.” The headmistress says, closing the folders with the pictures. I fight the urge to shudder. Everyone knows that private tutors are the worst. They are cold, and ruthless. Nate had one, I remember, then he ran away. I wonder if he got the same mission I have. I wonder if he lied to me.

My brain-and my heart-couldn’t take these thoughts.

“Moira?” The headmistress calls suddenly, “come in, please.” I turn around in my chair, trying to see as the door opens, and a woman, about the age of twenty-five steps in.
Her hair is long and dark, held back from her bright green eyes with a delicate butterfly clip. That is the only delicate thing about her. Her shoulders are square, her face a perfect match. She is stocky, so it’s hard to believe she’s no older then me.

“Moira, this is Kaede Saitama.” The way the headmistress says my name implies they were talking about me, and I gulp. I don’t want to know what they were talking about.

“Come with me.” Moira says, then left the office. I get up from the chair, and jog to catch up.

“Who are you?” I ask. Moira stops and waits for me.

“Don’t remember me?” she asks, “I don’t think we ever met.” Her eyes narrow, and I feel like I’m under inspection.
Which, really, I am.

“No.” I say, “We haven’t met.”

“You and my brother did.” She says, her voice dropping to a hiss. My heart begins to pick up speed again. Nate once mentioned his older sister, how she was a total bitch. Sort of the under-bitch to the headmistress.

“Yes. He mentioned you all the time. Skank.” Moira says haughtily, “he said you were flirting with him, and it made him uncomfortable. He was glad to leave.” I refuse to believe it. He would never say that. She’s just lying.

“Don’t believe me, hm?” She asks coolly, “well, do that, Kaede. In the mean time, we begin.” She stops at a cement door, pauses for a minute, and pushes the door open.

I see nothing. The room is pitch black. Moira turns on the light, bathing the room in pale, moon like glow. She pushes me in, and shuts the door behind us.

“We will not leave this room.” Moira pulls a glittering knife from the sheath that hangs from her belt loop, “until you understand what you have to do.”
I shrink back from the knife. My eyes almost cross as I try to keep them on the silver blade.

“I get it.” I say quickly.

“Do you?” she asks, “do you really?”

“Yes,” I say, “I have to kill the Mayor, or I’ll be killed.” Moira grabs the collar of my blouse, pressing the blade to my neck.

“I’m glad you understand.” Moira says. She takes the blade, and runs it down my arm. I have no choice but to scream as the scarlet blood stains the torn sleeve of my blouse.
Moira turns me around, looks right into my eyes. Her green eyes hold no life, they are cold and heartless.

“Lets see how you feel in a few days.” She says coolly and turns on her heel. She shuts off the light, slamming the door behind her.

Hi I'm Nats and I'm going to try and review this as best as I can.

I found the start slightly odd, at first I wasn't sure what to think, she is at school...looking at dead people...she is being asked to assasinate someone. I actually quite liked it though. I think it certainly keeps the reader on their toes.

Half of me wants to run right back to my lumpy cot, half of me wants to take on the challenge, and the other half just wants to curl up and cry for Nate.

I realize that, apparently, I have three halves.

This bit made me laugh.

I wonder if he got the same mission I have. I wonder if he lied to me.

There is only thing I don't understand and it's about the school. I thought it was just a normal school asking a student to do abnormal things, but obviously after reading this she is not the only person to have been given a mission like this. So, is this some sort of assasin school or is it just a school like any other.

The last bit totally shocked me though, I certainly was not expecting that.
I think you have found a nice balance between lack of detail and too much for most of it, though in some parts, like the ending, it would have been nice if you had described the setting, just to give the reader something to visualize.
I do like this and think the story could have a lot of potential, I'm just not sure where on earth this story is going, which I might add, is something I cannot criticize as I find that is what keeps me writing; the thrill of finding out what happens next.

Nats