Young Writers Society

Well, it probanly was not the smartest thing to let her go flying after she just grew her wings, but she was the one that jumped off the cliff. Now as much as I did not feel like catching her, I did, because yes, I'm just that nice.
"Hold on! I'm coming!" I shouted out at her.
"Um... It's kinda difficult to hold on to air, so come quick, Reilly!" Was Wren's response. So I chuck myself off the edge of a cave, no I am not suicidal, and dove down to fly past her, so she could land on my back, and I could carry us back to the cliff. At least, that was my intention. But of course with my luck, something was going to go wrong. And it did.
When I was a few feet below Wren, I realized she was moaning, so I pulled up and heard a 'HUBLEHLEEHUH' sorta sound, and I looked up just in time to have a stream of Wren-puke splatter all over my face. Lovely.
"How charming." Was all I managed to get out of my mouth without getting vomit on my tounge.
"Sorry! I'm just a little afraid of heights. Which could be a bit of a problem when I fly." She said.
A little afraid? A bit of a problem? Yeah, sure.
She was now on my back, and I landed immediatly to avoid further barfage. Luckily there was a stream nearby. I bent down to the crystal water, and spashed my face. Finally, the vomit came off and my face was normal again. Thank God, is all I have to say.
"Let's get back to the castle, get washed up, and go clean out Nagijuana's cave. There might be some useful stuff in there. Like, stuff to stop people from hurling." I said once I stood up from the cool stream. I looked at Wren. Her blue eyes were gazing into the sky, and her long blonde curls bounced down her back. She gave a weak laugh.
"Yeah. That might be useful." After a quick drink, me and Wren flew into the village, with the wind on our wings, and landed on the outskirts of town. We walked into the palace, Went up to my solar, and slept... longer than a princess should sleep.

Lovely, just a few things.
The grammar things are in bold.

twiggers wrote:Well, it probably was not the smartest thing to let her go flying after she just grew her wings, but she was the one that jumped off the cliff. Now as much as I did not feel like catching her, I did, because yes, I'm just that nice.
"Hold on! I'm coming!" I shouted out at her.

twiggers wrote: "How charming." Was all I managed to get out of my mouth without getting vomit on my tongue.
"Sorry! I'm just a little afraid of heights. Which could be a bit of a problem when I fly." She said.
A little afraid? A bit of a problem? Yeah, sure.

twiggers wrote:She was now on my back, and I landed immediately to avoid further barfage. Luckily there was a stream nearby. I bent down to the crystal water, and splashed my face. Finally, the vomit came off and my face was normal again. Thank God, is all I have to say.
"Let's get back to the castle, get washed up, and go clean out Nagijuana's cave. There might be some useful stuff in there. Like, stuff to stop people from hurling." I said once I stood up from the cool stream. I looked at Wren. Her blue eyes were gazing into the sky, and her long blonde curls bounced down her back. She gave a weak laugh.
"Yeah. That might be useful." After a quick drink, me and Wren flew into the village, with the wind on our wings, and landed on the outskirts of town. We walked into the palace, Went up to my solar, and slept... longer than a princess should sleep.

It just feels like you rushed this up a bit, I know that you are probably in the process of finishing the other half of this chapter, but a little more description or imagery, so we can paint a better picture and get a better understanding of what *you* see.

Really good piece, though. Nice that your character isn't so solid that they don't have a personality.

Thank tou, the second i get to 100 points, I'm gonna write ch. 3