I touched the edges of my newly cut hair, no longer feeling like myself. Closing my eyes, I accepted that I wasn’t going to eat anything.
“Don’t worry, you look fine.”
I looked up, startled to see Ara. “What are you doing here? I thought it was today,” I said, furrowing my brows.
Ara sat down and pushed her brown hair behind an ear, resting her elbows on the table with her chin on her palms. “Later. What about you, don’t you have anything to do?”
I looked away, unable to watch the numbers dancing above her head. “Tonight,” I said, forcing myself to swallow my pain.
“Eat, Ches. It’ll be okay, I promise. I’m getting worried about you,” Ara said. She touched my arm and I closed my eyes, neither wanting her to let go nor touch me.
“I’m fine,” I said. Sighing, I said, “You should probably get some sleep.”
Ara nodded thoughtfully, but didn’t move. “I’m leaving Trick with you tonight,” she said, looking away from me at the wall beyond us.
I stared down at my plate. “I don’t want any of your creepy spiders in my bedroom.”
“I’m sure you don’t. But since what happened last time”—she touched my hair and caught my eye—“I’d much rather be safe than sorry. I’m gonna go turn in for a few hours. Eat something, Ches,” Ara said. With that, Ara stood up from my table and headed back to the rooms.
I pushed my food away, and looked over at Ara’s seat. Sure enough, Trick, her delicate black and orange-striped spider, sat silently, watching my every move. I attempted to shoo Trick away, but Ara’s damn spiders were bound and determined to do what she wanted them to no matter what.
Reluctantly, I took a bite of eggs and left the table. I dumped my tray a few feet away at the garbage bin and turned to head for my own room. I hated Warden Hill, but there was nowhere else freaks like me belonged… or so I’d been told.
I came to Warden Hill eight years ago, and haven’t seen much daylight since. I don’t really remember life before Warden Hill, but I remember my father blamed me for my mother’s death since I told him when, exactly, it would happen. That was the first time I’d ever seen someone’s lifespan.
Back then I was Rachel. Ever since I came to Warden Hill, they started calling me Lechesis, or Ches. Ara had quickly become my sole source of reality, despite always having a spider somewhere on her person. Spiders weren’t my favorite eight-legged creatures. I didn’t like most anything with more than four or less than two.
No one was allowed to keep pets, but spiders just kept coming to Ara. Some people joked that she was breeding them, but I knew it wasn’t a joke. Under her bed, Ara had a thriving colony of a dark rainbow of spiders. Trick was the one she’d had the longest, and was probably the only one I was at least okay with having spend the night in my room. Luckily, I wouldn’t have to spend the night in my room that night. I’d be at the observatory.
Trick scuttled along after me as I walked down the corridor, the only sound my footsteps echoing off the concrete walls. All the lights were an artificial whitish light, and I hadn’t seen the sun often. My skin had paled and my eyes were growing accustomed to the slight dimness. It made getting to sleep easier.
I stopped in front of my door just long enough to open it. I let Trick scurry in after me and closed my door. There were no locks, and I hated it. I walked over to the corner and sat against the wall at the foot of my bed. My head dropped to my knees and I wished I could sleep. I wished I could do anything but see those awful numbers dancing in my mind over and over again. Even closing my eyes wouldn’t make them disappear.
When I finally decided to move, Trick had already settled into the web in the corner from all the times he’d stayed before. I knew he was watching me, as I walked over to the small box in the adjacent corner. Riffling through old books, I found the one that I wanted and went over to my bed. I sat on the gray blanket and pulled my knees to my chest. Opening the book, I ran my hands over the item tucked inside. It was the last thing I had of my old life. A small green ribbon, tied in a bow and faded from the years.
Inside the book, over the words that someone had typed and printed, I had started writing down all the dates. Every date I ever saw. I had dozens of pages filled with numbers which, to anyone else, made no sense. I looked at the numbers next to Ara’s name. It was like a clock to me, a count-down to doomsday.
“Ches, are you here? Ches?” Cain banged on my door with his fists, and I snapped the
book shut. Sliding it under my pillow, I wished I could’ve pretended I wasn’t there. Instead, I got up and opened the door.
“What’s the matter?” I asked. He looked like he wished I wasn’t there too.
“Headmaster wants you. He says it has to do with tonight,” Cain said. I nodded wished I didn’t have to go. But he’d send someone else if I didn’t go with Cain.
“I’ll see you tomorrow,” I said, pulling my door closed behind me. I figured Trick was already hitching a ride on my pant leg, and tried not to squirm at the thought. Trick could watch me while I slept, but I didn’t like him crawling on my leg. I left Cain, thinking he’d go back to his own room or training or wherever he wanted to. I hadn’t been expecting him to follow me.
“Actually, I think we’ll be seeing a little more of each other than you think.”
“Oh really?” I asked, not slowing down any. I wasn’t in a hurry, but I didn’t feel like idling around in the halls where anyone could see me.
“Why’d you cut your hair?” Cain asked, switching the subject.
I missed a step then, nearly pausing. “I just didn’t like it long anymore,” I lied. The truth was I had a “fit” two nights ago. I cut off all my hair with a razor-blade from the shower and cut my arms. My jacket hid the freshly-healing wounds, but I could still feel their sting.
Cain didn’t ask me anything else until after we met with Headmaster. But Headmaster sure had plenty of things to say.
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