JOIN THE CLUB =3
Summary: Adah Edric, a banished princess, returns home to train as a soldier, and eventually military adviser, once her brother assumes the throne. She has spent a good portion of the night at a feast praising her return, where she fell back into the etiquette and politics that she left.
By the time the feast is over, it is closer to morning than night and I haven’t eaten anything but that bit of soup and a buttered roll.
On my way back to my room, I am escorted by Vanadis, and we go considerably slower than when we arrived at the palace. I have time to look at the walls, the windows, relive the memories, but I don’t. I look at my feet, not daring a glance anywhere else. I want my first real taste of home to be back in my room, locked away where no one can see me, where I will be allowed to act however I want to.
When we reach my suite, Vanadis enters to help me out of my gown. Before he leaves, he arranges for a bowl of that rice soup to be brought to my room, and I’m grateful; at least he realizes that princesses have stomachs, despite the requirement of a tiny waist.
Alone, I sit on a futon, sipping my soup. The hot liquid burns on the way down, but even so I have chills. I finish and set the bowl aside, but don’t move; it’s now that I take in the room. The ivory curtains; the copper carpet; the off-white walls; the mish mash of chocolate and brass furniture. I caress the soft material of the couch, the plush cushions. It’s exactly as I remember; it even smells the same, vanilla and cucumber.
What’s going on? I think. How did I get here? I should be back at the academy. Back at Ithe. I said goodbye to this place years ago, gave it up. Expelled it from my mind. I was never coming back, never going to see this room again. How did this happen?
And then there’s the question: did I want this to happen?
When I arrived at the academy, I told myself I didn‘t. I wrote it off as a horrible place with atrocious people. I hate it all; the rules, the politics, the boundaries, the manners. Having an escort. Hate my family. The only things beckoning me here is training and Gavin.
I squeeze my eyes shut out of habit, like I always do when I think of him. Because it’s too painful to think about - or was. I’m going to see him, though. Speak to him. Touch him. But I still don’t think of that now. Because those thoughts are too conflicting with the miserable ones of my situation and sometimes it’s healthy to wallow for a while.
So I think about the past hours, about the politics and the mingling and the speeches and the etiquette - about all the things I hate about it, about how I wish I never had to go through it again. I’m left with one final question:
How did I fall back into it so easily?
It’s still dark out when I wake up. The cream walls cast an eerie glow, like a physical eternity that’s boxed around you, tightening as the air thins. Heat radiates amidst the thick blanket curled around me, sickening heat that crawls along my body to my neck and face, down to my legs and feet, through my itchy fingers. The fever leaves me dizzy and uncomfortable, and I have to get up, get out. Run away from eternity.
There’s a window in my suite, almost as tall as I am and wider than my door; a stone ledge marks its bottom, stretching out a few feet. I slide one of the glass panes up and cool air floods me, seeping into my limbs and lungs. I take a deep breath and swing my legs over the ledge, immersing myself in the sweet night air. I push off, away from the wall.
My feet land silently on a second ledge, larger and longer than the first, one I used to think was for decoration. That is, until Gavin showed me its real reason for existing.
When I was eleven, I was waiting at the drive for Nick to return from secondary school, where he and the other boys that lived at the castle went instead of staying home and learning from private tutors as all girls were made to. Following him out of the limousine was a boy that caught my eye; I knew him as the general’s son, no one more.
Later I was wandering the castle corridors, hiding from my brother who often got me in trouble, when I stumbled upon a hallway I’d never been before. Just as I realized it must have been an off-limits hall leading to the resident’s quarters, Gavin came round the corner, confirming my suspicions.
At first I was a little wary - was I intruding? how hadn’t I met him? who was he? - mostly because he was two years older than me. Practically an adult, so obviously someone not to be trusted. I didn’t know I had just met the best friend I would ever have.
We swapped names, though he already knew mine, and when I showed interest in exploring further on, he offered to show me a special feature of his room. He led me to the second ledge, and at first I wondered why. I knew it was there. After all, it was hard to miss; all the vertical lined windows on each of the five back towers, all residential towers, had the design.
Then he showed me what was special about them; against the wall, a block the size of a large placemat was cut from the rock, and below that every few bricks was missing from the gray wall, like foot and handholds on a ladder. An escape for the royal family and other residents, we decided was their purpose. Ironic, then, how he’d only found them on accident.
I was exhilarated by it, by him, by my perfect little adventure. Maybe the general’s son wasn’t so bad. Maybe he was even worth returning to the place that disowned me.
Maybe I miss him so much my stomach hurts and thoughts of seeing him soon cloud my mind.
There are a couple yards between the ledges and I crawl beneath the first, into the shadows. The stone is chilled, like the air around it, and feels good to touch. I sit with my knees bent in front my me and lean on them, staring at the forest that marks the back border of the castle; in those woods is where the training grounds are located. We’ll be staying in the barracks there, once we start training; or at least Gavin will. Even if I’m allowed despite being a member of the royal family, I most likely won’t for fact I’m a woman. I doubt that much has changed since Nick took over the kingdom after my father’s murder; it’s a miracle I’ll be able to train at all, being a girl.
I sit there for a while, drumming my fingers against my pale skin, the wind swirling around me, sliding through my pores into my center. My eyes wanting tears but remaining dry and raw. Goosebumps rise along my body and shivers run up my spine. It doesn’t take long and my resolve is gone; I have to move.
But not go back in my stifling cabin where memories and nightmares collide. I have memories with almost every place in the palace, every place on the grounds, but in my room are the worst ones, and also the sweetest - both threaten to overwhelm me.
I climb through the hole, skidding my feet along the wall until they find the slots, then descend, repeating the process of searching then gripping the holds. My fingers quickly become stiff as they scrape the rough stone, and every time I have a lapse and slip - which happens more times than I’d like to admit, which proves I’m out of practice - my knees grate against the wall. At each story I maneuver around the thick window frames, past the two ledges, until I return to the wall.
It’s slow progress, but steady, and soon enough my feet safely touch ground. Where to go now?
I know, it's pretty bad. I wrote this over a long period of time, so it's probably disjointed too. For this, I guess mostly I want to know how it flows, how vivid are the actions, did any part of it annoy you. How is her character developing, if at all, and are her emotions portrayed okay, or do they seem melodramatic or fake. This was never meant to be split from the whole chapter, but for my reviewers I parted it so it wouldn't be so long.
I'm not sure exactly what you mean getting annoyed by this, but whatever the definition behind it, I'm pretty sure I wasn't annoyed by anything.
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