Young Writers Society

What the heck was that?!" I yelled as we drove away.
"Okay, I have alot of explaining to do." My mom said more to herself than to us.
"Yeah start by telling us what that black thing was coming down the street.Then what was happening to that ladys' back!" Ashley screamed. I was stunned. Ashley never screamed,she was always so calm. Kevin huddled against the door.
" I don`t know what the black thing was for sure. As for the lady, well that was a Siren.
"A what?" I asked confused
"You mean like in Greek mythology?" Kevin asked. Ashley turned around to look at him her eyes wide.
"Yeah, I do mean like in Greek mythology. They are usually by the sea shore. It has to be something big to make them leave it." My mom said much to the confusion of me and Ashley. Kevin hung on to her every word.
"Mom?" Ashley asked looking out the window ",where are we going?" I looked out the window. We where heading the oppisite way of home.
"I'm taking you to a safe haven." My mom said not taking her dark eyes off the road.
"You mean your ditching us off some place." Ashely said quietly. Again I was stunned, but I knew she was upset I could feel her anger boiling up. Another thing about being twins.
"Ashley don't" Kevin said quietly "Please don't"
"No Kevin she's right !" I yelled. Or maybe it was my anger.
"Justin! Why would you guys even think that? I love you. It's not safe for you here anymore. Didn't you see those things? They're after you guys.
I let that sink in. They are after us . What are they?
" Why mom?" Kevin asked sitting up
" I-" My mom started
"Don't believe her Kevin! This is her idea of funny!" Ashley said turning around.
"Ashely!! Please!" My mom said .
"No mom!" I yelled Then kicked the door. "Let me out! Now! Let me out!"
The car stopped. I looked at my mom. I didn't think she would really let me out.
"We're here." She mumbled. All I saw were trees. "What are you waiting for? Death?! Get out the car!" She said when we didn't move. We climbed out.
"So this is where your leaving us?" Ashley said her voice full of hurt.
"No, I'm going to co-" Her sentence was cut short by the sound of crushing metal. I turned in time to see the car flattened like a toyota pancake with extra glass.
"I smell half-blood! I wanna eat demigod!" I booming voice that sounded like a mutant pre-schooler called out.
"Cyclops." My mom said quietly. "Run. Run now!" she grabbed Kevins' hand and I grabbed Ashelys' and we took off in too the wall of trees. But as soon as we hit the trees they started dissoloving. On the other side was a bright white light. "Am I dead?" I asked to my self. The light started to die down. I looked around. Whoa! All around us were people. They had stopped and looked at us. I looked closer and noticed that there were creatures, monsters mixed in with the people. A flag waved in the middle of the place. On the flag was a picture of a greek omega. A sign that looked like it could have been written in blood was tacked below the flag. It said " We're all about diversity at Camp Omega!"
"This can't be happening" I heard Ashley mutter next to me then she passed out.

Icy here to review! The first thing I noticed was that obviously this chapter was very short. It leads me to wonder whether this is a one off or if all your chapters are like this. A good benchmark to aim for is about 5 pages, that's still pretty short, but is a better length. If you can't make this chapter longer, I would suggest merging it with another.

dasiamari wrote:"Okay I have alot space of explaining to do." My mom said pleadingly

this sounds more like something a teenager would say, what about:
'Please let me explain, sweetheart,' my mom said pleadingly.
^ Thats just an opinion, feel free to ignore it!

dasiamari wrote:" I don`t know what the black thing was for sure. As for the lady, well that was a Siren.finish off the speech "

dasiamari wrote:We where heading the opposite way of home.

Just a few simple spelling/grammer errors that I'm sure were typos. Keep writing!

I wrote a bit more to this sooo...