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The Superhero Chronicles. Chapter 1



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Fri Jun 03, 2011 12:52 pm
Destiny110 says...



Chapter 1


"Slow down!" said Danielle, half squealing in fear and half giggling through the helmet radio.
"Relax babe, I know what I'm doing!" said Jaylee, her girlfriend and the driver of the motorbike.
"We're going to crash!" said Danielle, worried.
“We are not going to-“
“Watch out!”
Jaylee swerved, but it was too late, they hit a big truck. Danielle lay unconscious on the ground. Jaylee lay crushed between the truck and the motorbike, bleeding.
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“Danielle, Dani wake up.” said a deep, familiar, male voice.
“Richard?” she said, opening her eyes and blinking a couple of times to get used to the light. She noticed that they were in a hospital.
“Yeah it’s me.” said Richard, Jaylee’s dad.
“Where’s Jaylee?” she said suddenly, shooting up into a sitting position.
Richard didn’t say anything; he didn’t even look her in the eye. She looked at Rachel, Jaylee’s mother and got the same reaction. Looking back at Richard she saw a look of sadness on his face, a look of despair.
“No.” She said, realizing immediately what that silence meant. She cupped her hands over her mouth as tears began to sting her eyes. She couldn’t believe it, Jaylee, the love of her life, a person who wouldn’t so much as hurt a fly. Dead. Why wasn’t it her? Why couldn’t she be the one who died? Tears began falling and sobs started escaping, Rachel had by now sat down next to her and was hugging her as Richard held her hand.

After an hour or two, Danielle had calmed down, but was still heartbroken and distraught. Suddenly they heard a knock on the door. They all looked up and saw two men in lab coats.
"Mr and Mrs Clark?" asked one of the men. Richard and Rachel nodded. "I am Dr. James and this is my colleague, Dr. Reynolds."
Rachel and Richard shook both their hands.
"First, we would like to offer our condolences, losing a daughter is not an easy thing." said Dr. Reynolds. "Thank you, we appreciate It." said Rachel.
"But we need to ask you something which, in the long run, may be of great interest to you." continued Dr. James. "Yes?" said Richard, curious and interested at the same time.
"Would you consent to us using your daughter's body in a new project for the government?" Dr. James asked almost non-chalantly.
"Excuse me?" asked Richard, almost furious but still confused.
"Let me explain sir." began Dr. Reynolds. "The government is working on a new project. Which would give a human super human ‘powers’, so to speak. Only, we aren't sure of the effects of the enhancements to the human body." "We think it could be dangerous." explained Dr. James.
"Right. So it would be safer to try and enhance the body of someone who is already dead." continued Dr. Reynolds. "But, what good would that do? How would you know if it worked? The person is already dead." asked Danielle. "That's the best part." said Dr. James. "If we try to enhance someone who is already dead, they come back to life."
"Back to life, as in, resurrected?" Danielle asked, not entirely sure of what she said.
"Yes." answered Dr. Reynolds.
"With full memory, full mobility. Everything." said Dr. James. "It would simply be as if the person was unconscious, not dead."
"But, how is she going to be able to remember everything if..." Danielle paused, she didn't really want to say it, but she knew she had to. "If she's been brain dead for about two hours now?"
"That's a very good question." began Dr. Reynolds.
"You see, we work down in the morgue so that as soon as we get a new body, we check to see if they are good candidates. As soon as we find someone we inject them with a syrum that will keep their brain alive for a few days over a week, then we go and see if it's ok with whoever takes care of the person." explained Dr. James.
There was a brief moment of silence, Richard and Rachel looked at each other.
"Why Jaylee?" asked Richard, breaking the silence.
"According to our studies, your daughter is the perfect candidate for this project." said Dr. Reynolds. "She has the perfect body weight, white blood cell count, muscle mass. Everything."
"And because of this there is a bigger chance that the project will work." continued Dr. James.
“So there’s a bigger chance your daughter will come back to life.” said Dr. Reynolds.
“We need some time to think about it.” said Rachel.
“Of course, take all the time you need.” Said Dr. James and he followed Dr. Reynolds out of the room.
No one said anything at first; they all just looked at each other, waiting for one of them to break the silence.
“We have a chance at getting her back.” Danielle said finally.
“What if it doesn’t work?” asked Richard.
“We would have at least tried.” answered Rachel immediately.
“She deserves another chance.” said Danielle, tears stinging her eyes once more, but she pushed them back.
Richard sighed; he was obviously outnumbered in this argument. And he agreed with them, he just didn’t say it.
“Alright, we’ll do it!” he said and went to tell the doctors.
“Great, now all we need to do is get your signatures on this contract and transport her body to our lab.” Said Dr. Reynolds, pulling a contract out of a file, which he now had in his hands, and handing it to Richard.
"So what will you do to her, exactly?" asked Danielle, as Richard signed the contract.
"We can explain everything better at the lab, why don't you come tomorrow afternoon? By then we would have already taken her body there and we'll be ready to start." said Dr. James
"That would be great." said Rachel, skimming through the contract and signing it.
"Here's the address." said Dr. Reynolds, taking back the contract, pulling out a card and handing it to Rachel.

The next morning Danielle got discharged from the hospital and they met the doctors at the lab. After greeting each other, they were taken into a big conference room where they explained to them what they would do to Jaylee’s body.

“We’ll start by starting her heart on a slow rate, that way she will be alive, but unconscious.” said Dr. James.
“Then we’ll start the enhancements.” continued Dr. Reynolds, turning a large screen on the wall on and showing them a digital diagram.
"So how are you going to enhance her, exactly?" asked Richard.
"Simple really, we will give her all the abilities of a normal human, only on a much larger scale" explained Dr. James.
"Thus making her superhuman. Super strength, super speed." said Dr. Reynolds.
"Why is the government working on something like that?" asked Danielle.
"They are planning on having a small group. A team, so to speak, of super humans. Which would help against terrorism, large scale crime, those sort of things." he said.
"So there are already people who've gone through this process?" asked Rachel.
"No, your daughter will be the first." answered Dr. James.
"What's the chance that this will work?" asked Richard.
"Right now we're looking at a good 88% chance, which is really good." said Dr. Reynolds
Just then someone walked into the conference room, walked up to Dr. James and whispered something in his ear.
"That's great, thank you." he said and the messenger left. "Good news, her heart's been started and we are ready to make the enhancements."
"How long do you think this will take?" asked Danielle, eager to see Jaylee again.
"Assuming that everything goes well I'd say about a week, give or take a few days." said Dr. Reynolds.
"We'll keep in touch and keep you updated as we go along." continued Dr. James.

So they started working on Jaylee's body. And for that week Danielle, Richard and Rachel couldn't even think straight. The excitment of Jaylee coming back after they thought she was gone forever was too much to bare. But they waited patiently until the day finally arrived.
Last edited by Destiny110 on Sat Jun 04, 2011 6:21 am, edited 4 times in total.
The last person to mess with me and my tigerness lost his face...and his COOKIES!
  





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Fri Jun 03, 2011 2:11 pm
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germsieGal says...



I like it! I will keep reading :D I love the story line! Keep writing!
The hardest part of living is just taking breaths to stay.
  





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Fri Jun 03, 2011 6:21 pm
RitingFreek says...



Wow, this has definitely caught my attention. There are a few minor details (she's been brain dead the whole time, how can she remember things, etc.?) but I'm definitely interested. There were only a few minor grammatical errors, otherwise: Loved it! Keep writing! :)
:)~sMILEY fACE~(:
Riting Freek
People often say that motivation doesn't last. Well, neither does bathing- that's why we recommend it daily. -Zig Ziglar
  





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Sat Jun 04, 2011 2:49 am
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Lollipopper says...



Hey Destiny!
Generally I like this. I think it's a strong idea that could branch off into different ways.
But just a few thoughts.
Okay, first, with your writing...I think it needs more detail. No offense by any means, but sometimes it almost sounds childish. "She noticed that they were in a hospital" and "big conference room" are just a few examples. It's just too general. It sounds as if you're reciting a dream you couldn't remember well because you're not giving anything for the reader to grasp. In other words, the reader won't remember it. Also, descriptions with people. You want the reader to see the same image you are seeing in your head, no?
Sorry I don't have time for more!
Thanks for the piece! I liked it. And just ask for a review if you need one!

--Lollipopper
Yeah, that's Hedwig staring at you determinedly.
  








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