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Young Writers Society


The End: Chapter Two



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Wed Jun 29, 2011 11:13 pm
Lizziedroll says...



CHAPTER TWO

“Karra, look,” Estele pointed at a faraway object in the distance. I took out my scope and surveyed the dark thing. It wasn’t usual to see people around the mountains. There was desert everywhere, and not a sign of life or people in any direction for miles and miles. That’s one of the reasons we stayed a secret. No one could even imagine any area of forest or water out here.

“It’s a transport cart,” I notified her. My scope zoomed in on the cart, which was a big vehicle that could carry a large amount of people and cargo over long distances. I could see a few people in the front, one was driving and the other also had a scope out and was looking through it. I turned a knob on the top of my scope to see through the side of the cart. The scope, which was just like a telescope of the old world, except much smaller, could see miles away and also into things by sensing the temperature of the object. Inside the cart was cargo, and nothing else.

“Can you tell who they are or where they come from?” Estele asked. I searched the people, looking for anything that would signify a place they came from. Their clothes were tan and they wore wraps around their heads.

“They’re definitely from the east,” I noted. The east was desert, but rivers and lone trees were around every once and awhile, so that people could survive out there.

“Great. How many?”

“Three. They’re coming this way.” I stood and watched in alarm as they approached the base of the mountain. Their cart would not be able to travel up the mountain so they would have to continue on foot. We could stop them before they get anywhere near the village.

“What should we do?” Estele stood with me, watching the travel cart closely. Her long dark brown hair flowed down her back in four braids, and her pretty face had deep blue eyes set in it, with full lips that formed a frown.

“You’re the mayor’s daughter. You tell me,” I told her. Her frown grew into a slight smile.

“Karra, we both know that you’re the expert on dealing with the outside world. You tell me,” she said back.

“Fine. We have to stop them before they see anything.” I already started down the mountain side, stepping carefully to avoid slippery rocks or loose ground. The first few mountains hid the ones in the middle, where all the forest and rivers were. All the first ones are made of are rocks and some grass or plants.

Quickly we ran down the hill, dodging from this large rock to that one to keep out of sight. Once at the bottom we lodged behind another rock and watched the three people.

The driver steered the cart to a stop. All three people stepped out, looking up at the mountain in curiosity. All of them looked to be men. They were all young, between the ages of seventeen to maybe twenty eight. Their wraps hid their hair and shaded the top part of their faces. I could not determine much else about them.

“Well. It looks bland,” one said. He was the one who drove the cart, the one who seemed oldest. I noted that his belt held a gun and bullets. He was tall and well built, very strong.

“Yes, we should turn back. I bet all we’ll find is rocks and skeletons,” the next said. All of the men were strong and muscular, with guns and bullets at the ready. It would be hard to get those if we needed to fight them off.

“No,” the last said. This one sounded the youngest. He pointed at the mountains, saying, “We have to look. If those rumors are true then we’ll never have to look for food or water ever again.”

The driver sighed and wiped his face with a rag. “Just a quick look. I want to get a move on and see what else is in this area.”

They went to the cart and took out a few things. Estele gripped my arm as they unloaded more guns. Who were these people? I wanted to know, but if we made a wrong move everything would be ruined, or we could be killed. I waited, gripping Estele’s arm back.

In a minute they began trekking up the mountain side. We followed at a distance, keeping to the shadows. Hopefully they would turn back, or we would have to take the initiative and make them turn back. The safety of our village was being threatened, and we would not see it die out like so many others did because of people like this.

It may be selfish to keep desperate people from our food and water, but we had no choice. If someone made one mistake of telling another outside the village of us, they might come here and steal our small source of resources, killing off all of our people. It was a sacrifice we had to make.

But today we had no luck. They spotted green, and it made their eyes pop out of their heads. My heart fell, and Estele and I stood behind another boulder in frightened silence. It was time we stop them.

“Look at this,” one whistled, and then slapped a hand on the back of the youngest. “You did it, Roul! You actually found it!” They all hugged and laughed.

“I knew there was something here! I just had this crazy feeling that no one ever looked far enough to actually see what’s really here!” the one called Roul said. He jumped and laughed with the others. “Let’s see the rest, c’mon!”

They started down the mountain. But we were there before they took another step down. Our guns were drawn along with our swords, pointing straight at their throats. They stopped and gasped.

“I don’t think so,” I said to them, my voice dangerously low. “This is where you turn around and leave.”

Roul’s eyes darted from my face to Estele’s. He was not afraid, which bothered me. I pointed my sword more at him than any of the others.

“Um…who are you?” Roul asked.

I jabbed my sword closer to his throat. “You’re not in a position to ask questions.”

“We have to take them with us, Karra,” Estele said, “My father hates it when we get rid of outsiders without his permission.” She lowered her sword to take out two pairs of handcuffs from her belt. I did so also, bringing out the last pair. We cuffed their hands together and dragged them with us down the mountain.

“Well, now that that’s settled, would you mind telling us who you are now?” the oldest one asked with a steely voice.

I whipped my head around and snapped, “That’s the last thing we’re going to do. You people will probably tell everyone else about this place and then my people will starve for the rest of their lives. So, no, we’re not going to tell you our names, or anything else for that matter.”

A chuckle from Roul made me clench my teeth in fury. He said, “My, don’t you have a temper.”

I did, in fact, have a temper. My red hair was known around the village, signifying my inner fury, along with my large, green eyes that had flecks of red inside it. I wasn’t an angry person all the time, but when I am people did watch out.

I slammed him against a boulder and hissed, “Watch your tongue, outsider, or I’ll cut it out with my sword.”

He glared back at me with dark eyes. “He just asked a simple question. There’s no need for violence.”

His measured, careful tone made me all the more angrier. I brought up my sword and pressed it to his mouth. Our eyes were at war with each other, glaring and flashing with rage. Did I dare do what I threatened?

“Do it,” Roul dared. I pressed harder, just enough so that a small drop of blood left his skin. But, even in my fury, I would not kill. That would be only if it’s necessary.

My jaw moved as I clenched and unclenched my teeth. I hated losing, and when I pulled my sword back it was a battle I lost. So, all the way back, I roughly dragged him behind me. That was one battle I could win, though a pathetic one.
  





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Gender: Female
Points: 1148
Reviews: 84
Wed Jul 06, 2011 4:51 pm
briggsy1996 says...



Hey, I am really enjoying your story- I think you have a fantastic idea going!
I don't have any nitpicking, aside from one little thing:

Lizziedroll wrote:I wasn’t an angry person all the time, but when I am people did watch out.


-I think you may have mixed up past and present tense by saying, "I wasn't" and "did watch out" and then also using "am" in the same sentence. It just sounds a little off to me.
Maybe if you changed am to was it would flow a little nicer?

Anyway, I am really looking forward to reading more soon!
Best of luck :)
-Briggsy
but the sky is love and i am for you
just so long and long enough
-E.E. Cummings
  





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Gender: Female
Points: 990
Reviews: 2
Mon Aug 01, 2011 6:12 pm
Tictac268 says...



I found this story incredible. I hope there are more chapters coming soon. The only problem I had(just a tiny one) was it kept reminding me of the Road, a movie about the world ending, there's no resources, ect.
Impossible is just an opinion.
  








The same boiling water that softens the potato hardens the egg. It's about what you're made of, not the circumstances.
— Unknown