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Rise of the Flames Chapter 3



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Mon Aug 01, 2011 12:50 pm
Ignatius5453 says...



Chapter Three



There was this door; big, black, very old. Solomon took me through it. The guy from before, Montague, was sitting there, beside a desk. The desk itself was nice sized and fit with the décor of the office very well. It looked like one of those rich people offices from the movies. It had a bunch of expensive looking paintings along with a few bookcases full of books that had probably never been touched before. There was a chair alongside the desk, which Montague occupied, and one in front of it as well as one behind it.

“Well, well, well. I prayed this day would never have to come,” the man in the seat behind the desk spoke. His hair was thin and grey and his eyes looked worn. His skin was brittle and he sat very much hunched over the desk. The suit he donned was pallid and granite-colored. An ornate necklace hung around his neck. Golden links knotted down through a bedazzled rock, it looked a lot like quartz. Laid in the rock’s center was a large blue gem.

“I’m not sure he understands your meaning,” Montague’s voice seemed to hiss from between his teeth.

“I am very much aware of the circumstances Mr. Glaurant,” the man behind the desk eyed me very intently, “Please take a seat,” he beckoned to the chair in front of him. I took seat while Solomon stood behind me, “Now, Mr. Black. I understand the past hour or so has been… hectic. At this moment I can assume nothing makes any sense to you, at all. So please, ask any questions you may have. But. One at a time, do not burden me with a thousand at once.”

“Finally,” a million questions filled my head, ready to burst out of my mouth at the first opportunity presented to them, “Where am I?”

“You are in my study, in my chair. Wearing one of my suits,” the guy smiled at me, and for a moment, I could see a spark in his blanched eyes.

“No, but I mean WHERE. What is this place?”

“This is my abode, my mansion here. Many of the most prominent sorcerers around the world find it accommodating to have a homestead in one of the Aether. To answer your next question, the Aether are the seven worlds from which magic flows from and is contained in. Each one has a name and serves a purpose in magic. I would elaborate fully but that would take many years to explain the Aether in their entirety.”

“Who is he?” I gestured at Solomon who stood over me as I sat.

“Mr. Solomon Black, he was appointed your guardian and protector after your father died,” the guy winced at the last bit about my father dying, like it was a bad memory.

“Whoa! Hold on a minute here! So the fire today killed my parents?” panic and fear started to build in me as I imagined the dead bodies of my parents, burnt and battered. My stomach churned painfully for a few seconds and I swallowed difficultly.

“No Mr. Black. Those weren’t your parents, neither were they… real. To put it rather unsurely in the least,” he paused to eye me up again, inspecting me fully, “The so-called parents that you knew were merely projections. Your father died fourteen years ago, on this day. Your mother died fifteen years ago, tomorrow.”

“I don’t understand,” I clasped my hands together as this knowledge filled me, I didn’t know how to react to it yet, “Can you prove it?”

“Think of anyone, absolutely anyone at all,” the man behind the desk smiled weakly. I closed my eyes and pictured someone.

“I’m so sorry!” Mallory burst into the room looking extremely frazzled. It probably looked like I had swallowed my tongue. She walked over and stood by me as she addressed the man behind the desk, “Forgive me Mr. James,”

“No Miss Blaylock, Alastair will do perfectly,” he waved his hand and she was gone; obliterated into a spray of bluish particles raining down on us, “Was that proof satisfactory?”

“I could touch my parents and everything, they drove and did stuff too, like jobs,” this was all too different. I was having trouble wrapping my head around what Alastair was saying.

“I assure you, you would have been capable of touching Miss Blaylock,” Alastair gave me a wry smile, almost pitying in its looks.

“So then…” I must’ve looked pretty devastated because Solomon put his hand on my shoulder, “The one down there wasn’t real, she was a, uhm. Uhm, projection too?”

“No! Not at all! Your little love interest is very much a wholesome prospect,” he laughed merrily for a second, “But,” Alastair’s demeanor changed instantly. His features grew dark and serious, “I would ask you to stay away from her, and anyone else you’ve met today.”

“Can I ask why?” Alastair’s change in mood had shook me a bit, I hadn’t expected it.

“I don’t see why you can’t ask why,” despite being very ancient-looking, Alastair gave me a wolfish grin.

“You’re dangerous Mr. Black, we can’t trust you,” this time Montague spoke in his little weaselly voice.

“What!?” I almost fell out of my chair, “Me? Dangerous? Dude, with all due respect, you can’t be freakin’ serious?”

“I am completely serious,” Montague stared at me, “Mr. Black, I am completely serious.”

“That’s not fair! You can’t peg him like that just because of his father! He is not his father!” Solomon blurted out from behind me, I could hear the anger in his voice as he yelled at Montague, “He is an entirely different person, he has no knowledge of this world, or magic, or anything to do with us. How can he be a danger? I would ask that you think before you speak. So I am not tempted to rip out your tongue!” Solomon glared at Montague. I could imagine laser beams coming out of his eyes and melting Montague’s brain.

“Solomon,” Alastair cut in, “The fact is that Benjamin is a hazard,” he took a deep breath and gave a wilted look, “Because of his father. The same blood runs in his veins, as does in yours. He is the most powerful sorcerer to be born in the last thousand years or more. Even more-so than his father ever was, and look what his father did. I do not judge him. I let him into my house unaccosted; I let him sit in front of me uninhibited; I am speaking to him as I would speak to any other man. So please, I would ask you to abstain from ripping any tongues out for telling the truth.”

“It’s not fair, and you know that as well as I do,” Solomon’s hand squeezed my shoulder, “Please don’t do what you did to me to Benjamin. He’s a handful, but he’s a good kid. I’ve watched him for fourteen years. At least give him a chance.”

“Solomon, please. Is this about you or him?” Alastair hunched further over the desk, speaking softly, “What would you have me do? I will not send him to Hathaway to be schooled. He does not belong to the Red Stair. I cannot in good conscience do so.”

“So you’ll pass him off to Touchstone? Do you realize what they would do to him, Braxton is a power-thirsty man, he would only use Benjamin,” Solomon whispered hurriedly.

“That was never my intent,” Alastair attempted to straighten his posture; “Maximillian has a kind heart, and much more influence than I do, it would be a great fit for him. And you know that.”

“I have never asked anything of you because of my brother, and the guilt I carried because of it. But I’m asking for Benjamin’s mother! She trusted you!”

“I know she trusted me! And look what happened! Too many people put their trust in me, and I failed them!” Alastair looked downcast, like he was reliving a painful memory, “I cannot fail the boy like I failed his mother. I will not take him!” He folded his hands and set him head between them.

Solomon helped me to my feet and led me over to the door.

“Last night the Russian Federal Assembly Building was burned to the ground,” Solomon turned back to look at Alastair as he said this, “It’s happening again, and this time you can’t blame Leonardo.”
Flightplan 49
  





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Wed Aug 10, 2011 9:59 am
IcyFlame says...



Isn't it annoying that almost all the works with no reviews are chapters from a novel? *Sigh* Ah well, onto the actual review.
This was a pretty short chapter, but nonetheless had all the required information in it. What I did notice though, was that you tend to tell a lot more than you show.

What’s the difference between show and tell? Well telling is the dependence on simple description: Rose was an old woman. Showing, on the other hand, is the use of suggestive description: Rose moved slowly across the room, her stooped form propped up by a refined wooden cane gripped in a twisted, hand that was covered by lucid, liver-spotted skin.
Both showing and telling express the same information — Rose is old, but the former simply states it flat-out, and the latter doesn’t need to state it, because you can see from the description that she is elderly.
Showing is better for two main reasons. First, it creates mental pictures for the reader. When reviewers use terms like "vivid," "evocative," or "cinematic" to describe a piece of prose, they really mean the writer has succeeded at showing, rather than merely telling.
Second, showing is interactive and participatory: it forces the reader to become involved in the story, deducing facts (such as Rose's age) for himself or herself, rather than just taking information in passively.

With a little improvement, this could be a really awesome chapter!
  





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Sun Aug 28, 2011 9:39 pm
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Narnialover4ever1 says...



Good job with the dialouge! I really like your story so far!! :D
When he bares his teeth, winter meets its death
And when he shakes his mane, we shall have spring again'

'Look there she goes that girl is so peculiar. I wonder if she's feeling well.
With a dreamy far off look.
And her nose stuck in a book' Something my best friend, Drew, said about me
  








Some call me a legacy, others call me a hero. But I assure you, dear admirers, I am only human.
— Persistence