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The Diamond Fist: Prologue
Gender:
Points: 573
Reviews: 39
Mon Jan 23, 2012 5:30 pm
HHemayed
says...
Hi!This is excellent!
I think it's a bit long, but I'm no expert.
I didn't notice anything wrong or mysterious, but there's one thing:
(around neck)
I think you ought to say: (around my neck)
Good luck with everything. Keep writing.
To be alive is not to breathe, eat or drink. It's your ability to prove your existence.
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May you never steal, lie, or cheat. But if you must steal, then steal away my sorrows. And if you must lie, then lie with me all the nights of your life. And if you must cheat, then please, cheat death.
— An Unknown Bride, Leap Year
Gender:
Points: 573
Reviews: 39