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Young Writers Society


The Diamond Fist: Prologue



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39 Reviews


Gender: Female
Points: 573
Reviews: 39
Mon Jan 23, 2012 5:30 pm
HHemayed says...



Hi!This is excellent!
I think it's a bit long, but I'm no expert.

I didn't notice anything wrong or mysterious, but there's one thing:
(around neck)
I think you ought to say: (around my neck)

Good luck with everything. Keep writing. :D
To be alive is not to breathe, eat or drink. It's your ability to prove your existence.
  








What really knocks me out is a book that, when you're all done reading it, you wish the author that wrote it was a terrific friend of yours and you could call him up on the phone whenever you felt like it. That doesn't happen much, though.
— J.D. Salinger, The Catcher in the Rye