This is a new idea i am working on tell me what you think of it. Thankyou
Chapter 1 – Enya Wood
The echoic hall lent it’s acoustic to bouncing the dripping of tears; the deep pants for breath and the blur of uneven syllabus and pitches that were usually the side effects of crying. I didn’t feel tears or grief. I felt anger, a blunderous flame in my lungs, which made it hard to breathe.
The church was swept with frost as the grave oak doors seized open. It was then, hauled by her brother’s, Delilah’s coffin was carried down the aisle. Draped in soft white paint and a huge Cadbury’s purple bow laced over the front. She’d been beautiful, artistic, talented and above all kind hearted. She was innocent and magical and I knew we would all miss her deeply. As it passed us on the back row I felt a warm tingle strike my spine. It was the knowledge that this was it, she was really gone after this but the grieving and the trial were not.
Delilah had been killed in a hit and run accident. We’d all been there, me, Nixie, Avani, Soleil and Camden; especially Camden. She’d ran to try and save Delilah when she spotted the car haring around the bend that September night. The night was not dark just painted in a pearly blue. Delilah had skimmed across the road to stroke an exceptionally rare silver fox as it slinked through the golden corn. She clumsily tripped while she was crossing. She never stood back up.
I looked to my left. Soleil’s bubblegum pink hair was half plaited back and tied in a big black chiffon bow. A few reluctant tears streamed down her stony face. It wasn’t that Soleil didn’t care she simply didn’t like crying and tried to hold back any negative emotions. Sadness was what she classed as one of these emotions; instead she fidgeted with the tutu bottom of her black dress. Soleil had in a petrified panic instantly rang an ambulance and the police. She fretted, she was soothing and calm tranquil at all times and could usually bring pleasure to anyone. She was not her usual chilled out self at that moment in time.
“Hello?” She’d shuddering said to the phone, “I need an ambulance, quick and a police car to or anyone who can help us. My friends been hit by a car but the car has driven off,” She paused a second from her frantic squeaky words not drawing a single breath, “Just outside Raytown village on the road between Raytown and Hearth.” She then put the phone down.
The medial teams attempts could not bring Delilah back to us though, she was apparently gone straight away because her head took most of the blow. Delilah's phone had been taking in for examination, to see if it had accidently picked up anything from her death. It drew nothing, so Soleil asked if she could take it.
In the August of that same year Soleil had bought a 1940’s make-up box from a antique shop in Hearth. It was a distressed cream with massive dusky pink roses painted on the front. It had a leather strap and a pale pink interior. Delilah had adored it and always really wanted it. It now sat at the end of Soleil’s peep-toed boots, teaming with photos from Delilah’s phone. It was her parting gift instead of flowers.
Next to Soleil was Nixie. Nixie was Soleil’s pole opposite when it came to emotion, she was an emotional mess. In seconds Nixie could switch from breaking her heart out devastated to glorified joy, from deep passionate love to just as passionate hate, from burning anger to the most chilled out person it the world. At this moment her eyes were flooding with tears. Her nose was snotty and her whole face looked really pale and gaunt. She was inconsolable. She had been on that night too. She had wept and wept and wept and the roadside. I highly doubt that she stopped since.
To my right was Avani. She’s always been so motherly to all of us and cares for us all. She had a few black tears dribbling down her face and it was scrunched into a pained manor. She’d been a mother on that night too. She had been on the floor by Delilah’s side trying to resuscitate her. She failed obviously but she was caring for her in a way that only Avani could.
I couldn’t bear to look at Camden’s face. She was sat at the front with Delilah’s family; she’d been inconsolable since it happened and today was not going to be any different. If any thing she was going to be ten times worse. The ceremony passed and I tried to keep myself calm. It was one of the most awful experiences of my life, saying goodbye; little did I know this wasn’t goodbye.
About a week later I was dressed in my silken cream bed sheets, fast and tightly asleep. My warm orange walls surrounded me and I was in my safe place. My bed. My little segment of luxury. I could have slept for days but I was rudely interrupted. My soft feathery mattress turned slim and hard. It felt like I had suddenly exchanged my comfortable springy mattress for a park bench.
My eyelashes fluttered open and I found myself immersed in green waxy healthy leaves.
“What!” I bleated in shock. In my true graceful manor I tried to cease myself to my feet but instead I flat on my face in a bed of dewy grass. The truth of the matter was that I didn’t have a clue where I was, it was like paradise. A road of glitter lead from the centre of the tree, it shone ruby red a rustic colour that blitzed from the ground to the sky. My intuition promised that answers would be found if I followed this road. I followed the flaming glitter until I reached a sandy stage.
“Oh my god, Enya,” A joyous voice screeched at me. I spun back on myself to see Nixie’s face beaming from cheek to cheek. As she started skipping up the glitter path it blended from the warm passionate red to a calm relaxed oceanic blue.
“How did you get here?” Nixie giggled and she wrapped her arms tightly around my neck.
“I was laid in bed and my mattress became a branch from the tree I guess,” Informed her still unsure about the circumstances, “and how i'd you come here?”
“Well you know how I have them shelves in the back of my wardrobe? I was reaching into the back of my wardrobe to get a book and I felt a waxy material. I was pulling at it and I got a leaf in my hand. So I climbed into my wardrobe and found myself hanging on the branch of a tree. It was very strange,” Nixie explained her situation to me. After a few moments we heard a large thump. We both recoiled on ourselves.
“Damn,” screamed Avani. She ran not noticing the fact that the road has changed to a fresh pure green. “I was asleep in my bed and when I woke up I was inside the alcove and then I fell out of the alcove when I woke up,” Avani blared as she walked up the glittering path. The tree was greener, healthier in her presence. She appeared a little confused by our presence and so we explained how we had reached this secluded area.
The next to join us was Camden sat in the top of the tree on her laptop blissfully unaware of the fact that she was no longer at home. In her typical graceful way she hooked the laptop under her arm and clambered down the tree. When her feet hit the glitter ground it gleamed a vibrant pink. A Barbie pink. She ran over to us her bright pink laptop still under her arm. She was perfectly unphased by the situation. We looked along the line and noticed that we were one person missing. Soleil.
A few moments whizzed past and then a door opened from the bottom of the tree and Soleil tottered out.
“Oh god!” She shrieked and as she pattered along the luminous yellow shimmering road and came to join us. “Seriously what the f*** is this place?’ Soleil barricaded her true emotions from us as she covered her highly visible chest.
“No b***** clue,” Nixie answered stressing the same tension in her words as Soleil did.
“I think we’re dreaming,” Soleil established confidently, “This is all in my head! I’m going to wake up shortly and laugh because this is really funny how scared you all look.”
“And we are all having the same dream Soleil?” I felt this plenteous rage thunder inside me.
“Well it’s a better idea then you have,” Soleil’s voice was liquid and soothing in comparison.
“I wish you wouldn’t be so f****** thick all of the time!” I shouted at her, she was so ditzy and care free and it made my blood boil when obviously something was so wrong.
“Girls,” Avani’s stern motherly voice cut my rant off.
“Well she is so ditzy, all the b***** time,” I found myself more and more annoyed by Soleil’s personality more then I had ever been before. It was uncontrollable and it smoldered deep in my veins.
“Enya, I can’t be bothered with your antics. This is scary enough with out you blowing your top. We’re all still stressed about Delilah and now this fr***** freaky s*** is going down and you blitzing us all doesn’t help,” Camden roared, the torment of Delilah’s death was still ripping her apart inside. While we all shouted and screamed at each other the skies opened.
Her voice was beautiful, this exquisite lyrical tone that could make you feel like waves are dancing over you.
“I am Mary-Anna, the current embodiment of all Earthly powers,” she melodically sang.
“Mary-Anna, where are we?” and for that pulse of a heartbeat Soleil sounded brave as she stepped closer to the obviously powerful woman, “are we dead?” she dizzily whispered at the end of the pulse.
“You did not just ask that!” I angrily raved at her.
“Well it’s an option,” she girly fluttered. Just as I parted my mouth to erotically bellow at her, Nixie stepped between us.
“For f**** sake Enya there is no need to yell like you’ve just escaped the loony bin! What’s Mary-Anna… your highness, going to think,” Nixie washed her soothing waves over me.
“On the contrary Miss Nixie, I was most definitely expecting this from Miss Enya. In fact if Miss Enya was not so short fused and hot headed I would be worried. You see girls you all personify one of the elements of life, Miss Enya personifies Fire,” Mary-Anna enlightened us with her fantastic voice. A whiz of excitement buzzed in me at the idea of being the soul barer of fire.
“Me! I am the personification of fire! What does that mean?” My voice warmed and became a tender. I was the one asking ditzy questions now.
“Being the personification of fire means you will one day become fires immortal. At the moment you can’t control your element because it’s coming in, in drips however when your element is totally filling you, you’ll be a different person. There for you need to go to D.W.D, the diligent warriors decathe, it’ll help you to stop loosing yourself. When you grow into fires immortal you’ll be able to set any part of your body alight into flames. You’ll throw fire and be able to set anything on fire with your mind. Fire has the additional ability to attack. Obviously all of you have an immortal opposite, Miss Nixie,” Mary-Anna highlighted Nixie from the crowd of us.
“What am I?” Nixie’s eyes glittered. You could see that Nixie was utterly thrilled at being enlightened on what her extra special power was.
“You miss Nixie, are known for jumping from one extreme emotion to the next, from calm to angry, from wild to sleepy, Mary-Anna described Nixie perfectly.
“I’m not that bad,” Nixie dejectedly snapped.
“But you personify water Miss Nixie, that’s the automatic trait of a water immortal. You’re mature, emotionally diverse and a typical water type. As the personification of water you will one day become water’s immortal. You will be able to control any type of water from a cup of water to the vastest of oceans. Your tears are healing but your additional power in defense. Water can shield but just like Miss Enya you need to attend D.W.D to stop yourself from getting lost,” Mary-Anna explained Nixie’s water abilities.
“So what do immortal opposites mean?” Nixie angelically asked what I also wished to know.
“Yeah! What does it mean?” I backed up her case. Mary-Anna looked straight down at the pair of us.
“Well it means that you, Nixie and Enya, bare an extra special bond. You can understand each more but only when you truly need each other. The rest of the time you’ll argue like crazy,” Mary-Anna enlightened us even though our minds were cascading with information.
“Avani!” Mary-Anna proclaimed chirpily. Summarily Avani walked up to Mary-Anna.
“Yes,” Avani’s brisky twang was joyous, she was never scared.
“I knew you’d stride forward with such immense confidence. You and me bloom here at the grabbing tree.. You, like I, personify Earth and this tree is the mark of Earth where the powers of Earth manifest. There is a place for each element at every fringe of Kenanpation from The grabbing tree in the far east to the obsolete grave in the west.”
“What’s Kenanpation?” Avani burst into the convosation.
“That’s where you are silly,” Mary-Anna blissfully blossomed. Avani just gave her the most vacant of looks as her head bobbed up and down continually. “As the personification of Earth you can control the earth however you wish from the planets to the ground beneath your feet. You can even make animals bow to your every whim. And your extra power is to heal anyone and anything. It’s rather a magical feeling as this is one element that I can quite happily comment on,” Mary-Anna presented all of the ways in which Avani was gifted.
Avani was euphoric, in every step, every inch of her innocent being. Her warm, comforting arms lapped us all into her chest, in a loving embrace. It only made sense that her power was to heal, for her hands twinge in an enchanted manor. Mary-Anna’s shifty eyes then placed themselves upon Camden.
“Miss Camden,” Mary-Anna’s velvet voice rolled Camden’s name as it demanded her presence.
“Yes,” Camden quivered.
“Oh, how frail are you,” grinned Mary-Anna; I could have scripted her next words, “Just as I expected. Your delicate whisper, your shy personality, you personify air. And when the day arises that you become air’s immortal you’ll be able to fly, high above the clouds, you’ll be able to summon the wind and use it however you wish. Also air’s extra power is to flee. Air can always find safety. You miss Camden and Miss Avani are immortal opposites,” Mary-Anna bestowed the information upon Camden. Avani and Camden turned to each other and exchanged a blissful high five. Then all eyes landed on Soleil.
“Your majesty Mary-Anna.” She respectfully began, “What am I? There are only 4 elements. Fire, water, Earth and air and there are five of us. I don’t understand.” It was a rare situation when I found myself actually understanding Soleil, but this was admittedly one of them times.
“Fire, Water, Earth and Air are the Greek elements. I did not mention Greek elements; I said the elements of life. That is where your element comes to play. It’s one of the most intriguing elements to me for there has never been barer of this temperamental power. You personify day. As day you can manipulate any person or anything in the hours of sunlight. But at night you lose all your power apart from the extra power of day, which is to foresee. You will be able to act at the night but you shall need to be day’s immortal for that to happen, plus you’d have to work hard,” Soleil, who was a little shaken by these revelations, revolved to face the rest of our group. Her calculating mind looked over us, counting us all.
“Okay, but also, I don’t have an immortal opposite,” Soleil rasped, breathless.
“About that,” Mary-Anna bore perceptive grin. Her iced fingers blitzed purple and musky haze in the same violet tone wisped before us. Soleil shivered back into place, obviously scared by the ominous mist.
Mary-Anna held her stance.
She stepped from the mist. A creak on wood. The forest fell silent. Our bodies chilled. Hearts once stop, pulsed back into motion. The words were not found.
“Oh my god!” Soleil’s voice tremor, her mind boggled. It was surprisingly or unsurprisingly that it was Camden who rushed to her side first, on a whiz of air.
“Oh my god! I can’t actually believe it! Is this real Mary-Anna! It b***** better be! Even if it’s not I don’t care!” Her often-controlled voice was squeaking all over the place.
“I take it that you are all acquainted with Delilah Nyx,” Mary-Anna formally presented her and the rest of our group pounced on her.
“How? No offence Delilah but how are you alive?” Soleil’s vibrant voice was explicit as she asked the question we all secretly wished to know.
“One question at a time girls,” Mary-Anna cut our poised lips, “Camden this is all real. If you’re waiting to wake up, you’ll be waiting an awful long time. Well, Soleil, your all in the land of the gifted and dead or alive the gifted of the elements come here. This is why Delilah is here. Here she can live.”
“Here I can live immortal, forever and ever,” Delilah was spunky in a way that had been sucked from her the last time, which we had seen her.
“Delilah is Soleil’s immortal opposite. Delilah personifies night, which alike Soleil’s power is extremely temperamental. But Delilah can only be powerful in the hours of darkness,” Mary-Anna concluded her explanation. Soleil and Delilah swapped anxious grins as finally each of us was presented with our otherworldly gifts.
“I leave you now girls, You’ll find your way to D.W.D and if I help, well you wouldn’t be learning would you,” Mary-Anna bayed us farewell and whisked her long twiggy arm over herself. As her arm veiled a part of her body sparks of electrifying green appeared making that part of her become invisible. After a few moments she was gone and again we were alone in the leafy green forest.
“Anyone got a plan,” I instructed, charging this fumbling group. Their adolescent faces drew blank. Apart from Soleil’s, it was highly concentrated, for a mirror was stooped at her nose end and she was contently powdering it. Though it was pleasure to finally see our wholesome group together once more, it had slipped my mind how completely docile they could be.
Delilah scrunched her plush brown hair out of her dazed eyes and examined our new landscape.
“There are seven paths,” Delilah began to breech, “One of blue and one of red. One of pink and one of green. One purple, one yellow and a seventh of coal. Now the glitter path shines green it’s neutral state. It’s glittering emerald right now. It leads to the grabbing tree yes. And it changed to a different colour for each of us yes?”
“Red,” I beamed.
“Blue,” Nixie bleated.
“Green,” Avani yelled, child-like.
“Pink,” Camden was rather thrilled at that point.
““Yellow,” Soleil giggled.
“And Purple,” Delilah reminded us as she stepped on to the glitter track again, “So there for we should really go down the neutral road, which is the coal road.” We all nodded in agreement of Delilah’s decisions.
“Wait!” Soleil dramatically stopped us, “we’re still in our bed clothes. We can’t walk on coal a road bare foot. It would be painful!” I mocked her savagely.
“Well your day Soleil. You can control anything around you,” Delilah caringly beamed, “Ask the tree.”
“Does it have to rhyme?” Soleil stupidly asked.
“No,” Delilah disapproving established.
“Well that sounds more like a spell so I’ll go with that,” Soleil sprung merrily. Elegantly she danced up to the grabbing tree and rasped her spell.
“Dear grabbing tree, I need some shoes,
First a pair of boots in hazy blues,
Second flats, ruby red,
Then the same again, but pink instead,
Then some trainers, emerald green,
Followed by loafers in aubergine,
Finally tree, a pair for me,
Some heels… that are gold, and glittery!”
The lower leaves of the tree transformed in a green and gold mist and deformed into six pair of shoes, just as Soleil wished. First a pair of ice blue doc martins, obviously for Nixie. Then two pairs of ballet pumps one red and one pink, for Camden and me. Each pair was decorated with innocent little roses. Then there were a pair of bright green basketball boots for Avani, then a dainty pair of dark purple loafers for conventional Delilah. Finally on the lowest branch were a stunning pair of gold glittery stilettos for Soleil herself. We each hauled a pair of shoes upon our feet as Soleil had wished and began down the path of coal hoping it would lead us to the long awaited D.W.D.
Perhaps a comma after "Delilah's side"; comma after "failed" and comma after "obviously", otherwise the speaker sounds a little cold-hearted. Then "[Camden] was sat" - "sitting", perhaps, not "sat"? That would bring your verb tense up to speed. ^^ Comma after "happened". "Anything" is one word; comma after "anything"; comma after "passed"; comma after "know". (And aw... suspense! Yay! Except your foreshadowing is a little off; it sounds so cliché to say "little did I know" that you could cut it out. Perhaps "It's a shame I didn't know that this wasn't goodbye"?)
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