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Magnificent, This World | Chapter Two



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Reviews: 23
Sun Oct 23, 2011 2:36 pm
MSDavies says...



2


Well, thanks to current events, my good mood has gone completely south. In other words, it is diminished, obliterated. This means that things are awful. They definitely started going downhill when we were having breakfast in the mess hall at around nine AM. Sharp.
I had another encounter with Brea. The nameless has a name! The girl who had, hours earlier, found me as I snuck out before dawn. Yes, this morning I saw her in the mess hall to further my sense of humiliation at being discovered. Well, after about five minutes of stalking I had figured out her name. Why? Because I’m interested. Now go and mind your own business.
I mean really, the nerve of her! To purposefully humiliate me during my time of weakness. What a joke! I swear, one day. One day, I shall be the one that catches her off guard. Just wait and see.


+++


I feel something brush my arm as I walk down the corridor to my own little solitary unit. I casually check the corner of my eye. “Hello, Brea,” I mutter extremely unenthusiastically.
“Well, well. Good morning sunshine. Aren’t we in a fabulous mood today?”
“I’m sorry but I don’t feel like talking at the moment,” I say as a quick move to get away from her pestering, but she catches on fast.
“Are you sneaking out again tonight?” she asks coyly.
“Leave me be,” I say quickly, another evasive move of mine.
“Oh, so you are then!” I can see the triumphant gleam in her eye. She has me and she knows it too.
I stay silent, deciding to no longer regard her presence. I quicken my pace, come on, only a few more steps until I reach my cell…
Next thing I know, she jumps in front of my door, blocking all means of escape. Brilliant.
“If you’re going out tonight, I say I get to go with you. Being trapped here, we could all use some excitement,”
“I don’t think you should. It’s dangerous,” I say challengingly.
“It’s not fair. You go all the time,” she pouts. “I’ll just follow you anyway.”
“Well, as a matter-of-fact, I won’t be going tonight. Good day,” I say briskly.
“Oh come on, Jo,” she says mockingly. “We both know you’re going tonight. So don’t lie. It’s unbecoming.” She then turns on her heels and skips down the corridor.
I guess I’m stuck with being followed tonight because deep down inside I know that I will go. No matter what. She won, and we both know it. If you haven’t been keeping score, I have. Brea-Two. Joy-Zero.

My eyes flash open as I check to see the clock mounted upon the wall. Three-fifteen AM. Perfect. I quickly toss on my uniform over my underclothes, and then I head out the door. I peer sharply down the corridor, hoping that Brea isn’t there. Just as I think she isn’t going to show, there she is. Smiling mischievously. I do hope she isn’t as excited the entire time, or I’ll have to knock her out.
“Finally,” she says. “I was starting to think you had left without me.”
“Oh wouldn’t that have been a darn shame?” I say as I give the most charming smile I can muster.
She falls giddily into step beside me. “What shall we do?”
“I don’t know,” I say, “Why don’t you bestow some of your wisdom upon me?”
Ignoring my rudeness completely, she says, “Hmm. How about we find a way out?”
“Hold up! Out as in out, out?”
“Why, of course! It’ll be quite the adventure,” she says dreamily.
“I don’t think we should…”
Too late. She is already traipsing down the corridor, and I have no choice but to follow.


+++


“Look! Over here! I think I found a way out,” she whispers all too loudly.
“You thought the broom closet, the kitchen, and the furnace rooms were ways out as well,” I say sarcastically. This girl is really getting on my nerves.
“Well, I’m almost quite definitely sure about this one!”
“Alright, alright. Let’s have a look see, shall we?” I say as I approach the door.
I push on the handle a few times with no avail. “Locked,” I whisper urgently.
“Just when I thought I was to get out of here.” She mock-pouts for dramatic effect.
“Fine,” I say, as I undo my hair pin and slip it easily into the lock. I slowly move it around as the lock. Then slowly, the lock becomes becomes undone. A quick click later the door is unlocked and Brea looks as if she were to burst with happiness.
“Jo,” she says as she slips by me through the door, “you are truly a genius!”
I know I dislike this girl so much, but even I can accept a compliment. I quickly nod my head and follow her.

Something unsettles me the second we step into that room. I don’t know what it is, but it just isn’t right.
“Jo, I can’t see a thing! Isn’t there a light switch somewhere you can find?”
“I’ll try, just hold on,” I say as I blindly search for a switch.
The toe of my boot catches in the floor, and I immediately feel myself falling forward. I shoot my hands out so that I can catch myself, but instead of landing on the ground I feel something warm underneath me.
“Hey, look—I found the switch!” Brea says as she flips on the switch and at the same time we both let a horrified scream escape us. Right underneath me is a navy blue uniform just like ours, but something else colors it; blood. I jump up quickly and cover Brea’s mouth.
“Get your hands off of me! They’re all bloody. You’re making me sick,” she says as she throws my arm off of her. In the light, I look myself over. I, too, am covered in blood. I feel something rising in my stomach, but I hold back from getting sick all over Brea.
“Sorry,” I say softly as I get closer to inspect the body.
“Who do you think it is?” Brea blurts out loudly. Geez, I’ll have to tape her mouth shut for
her to stay quiet.
“I don’t know. He looks about a year or two younger though,” I say. He does in fact look younger. Although, it is hard to really recognize him due to the fact that his face is so bloodied. I quickly bend down and check for a pulse. “Dead,” I mumble as I gently close his eyelids.
“How horrible!” Brea exclaims. “It looks as though he was shot.”
I ignore Brea’s worries and listen more intently to what I believe are approaching footsteps. I hear them getting ever closer as Brea keeps rambling on. Suddenly I hear them stop in front of a door on the other side of the room.
“Brea,” I say in the softest whisper. “I need you to go behind those crates and flip the switch. You are then to stay low and not utter a single sound, right?”
“Right,” she says somewhat confused.
“Okay, now.” I whisper as I duck behind the crates, and am soon joined by Brea in the eerie darkness.
The door opens and the room is illuminated by the beam of a flashlight. I dare not peek over the crates, but I can tell that two older men have entered the room.
“You idiot,” I hear one of them say. “I told you not to make such a mess. Look at this! There’s blood everywhere!”
“Sorry sir. He was escapin’. Had to stop ‘im before he got out.”
“Alright, well gimme a hand then. This body isn’t walking out by itself,” the man says. Clearly he is the leader of the two. I get even lower; I do not want to be discovered by these men.
“Wha’ about the blood, sir?” the one who clearly does the dirty work says.
“Leave it, Archie. We’ll be back to clean up soon as we get the stiff out of here. Now let’s go.”
“Alrigh’ then,” Archie says as they take a few labored steps due to the dead weight and shut the door behind them.

We wait for little to no time before we rush out of there, and as Brea opens the door I try to ignore the pool of blood in my peripheral vision. We run from corridor to corridor and stop at the site where we had met seemingly ages ago.
“Well then,” Brea says as if not really sure how to part.
“Well,” I answer, “we may as well go off to bed. I myself have some washing to do. See you in the mess for breakfast then?”
“Yeah, um, thank you, Jo. Really,” she says as she trails briskly down the opposite corridor towards her room.
Right, time to head to my room. I open the door and get in around four-fifty AM. It takes me another hour or so to scrub all of the bloodstains out of my uniform. Unfortunately, my white underclothing shall be permanently stained red. Oh well. On that note I climb into my bunk only to be woken up two hours later. Great.


+++


It feels as if I am sleepwalking down to mess, and, who knows, I actually may be. I slowly recount the early morning horrors and, possibly, a new-found friendship. I have barely had any interaction with another human being, but now things seem a little crowded. New roommate and possibly a new friend. It’s just a tad too much for me. Who knows, it might be somewhat helpful; at least I hope it is.
As I approach the mess, I see something floating to my left. It appears to be looking at me. Must be a sentry or something. I think to myself, but as I turn around the shadow seems to disappear into thin air. My tired mind is playing tricks on me. Come onJo, just go to mess. That was nothing.
I turn on my heel and rush towards the mess hall as if my life depended on it. I’m almost there when I smash into Brea.
“Hey! What’s the deal? I was yelling your name for like a minute, and then you just crash into me! You okay, Jo? It looks as though you’ve seen a ghost,” she mocks.
Well, yes, in fact I do believe I just saw a ghost. It was right down that corridor staring at me, you see. Then, it strangely disappeared. You can go take a look if you like. Instead, I say, “No. It was nothing. Sorry.” I mean, I don’t want to seem mental now, do I?
“You sure? You seem weirder than normal,” she teases.
“Oh shut it,” I say as I over-dramatically pretend to be mad.
“Oh, Jo. You are truly the worst actress of our time!”
“Why, thank you,” I say sarcastically, flashing my best fake smile.
Brea links her arm through mine as we set off to the mess. I quickly glance back to where I saw the mysterious shadow. Nothing. You worry too much, Jo. I keep my gaze forward as I walk with the lightest of steps. I’m right; I really do worry too much.


+++


Breakfast in the mess was for once, great. Of course, the food was awful, but things suddenly seem lighter now that I have a friend here. Everything seems more…normal. Over breakfast Brea and I share many quick glances. Each one shows our knowing of the secret we share. The secret that now bonds us as friends.
I head down past the gate to a large, indoor stadium, fake grass and all. Except for the fact that the ceiling is made completely out of titanium steel. Yeah, good luck breaking out.
I am to report there for field training. This is by far my favorite time of the day. It is where we learn to utilize different weapons under different circumstances. Out of all people in my class, let’s just say I’ll have the best chance of surviving. By far my favorite weapon is a dagger. I never use guns; I believe them to be messy and overbearing. With daggers, I can throw them from a distance, and when used right, can be the most dangerous weapon of them all.
With a fluid movement of my arm and a quick bend of the wrist, the dagger flies out of my grip and hits the dead center of the bull’s-eye. I cannot help but to smile to myself, as I see everyone else only grazing the target. I look over to where Brea is and see that she is working with a sword. She is, in fact, quite skilled. She stands in the practice circle as wooden dummies pop up around her. She gracefully sweeps around the arena as she seems to cut down the enemies without the slightest hint that she’s being challenged.
I decide to go and join her; I mean I may as well. She’s sure knows how to handle that sword. “Hey, mind if I join?” I say as I stride towards the circular arena.
“Think you can take it?” she says challengingly.
I lift up my daggers and raise my eyebrows. “We’ll just see, won’t we?” I say, accepting the challenge.
“Alright then,” she says as she presses the button that calls twenty enemies upon us. She lifts up her sword as I ready my daggers. The first one pops out right behind Brea; I am about to throw my dagger just as she twirls her sword around her body, hitting it square in the chest.
“Good one,” I praise.
“Childs play,” she says as she runs the opposite direction. I spy a dummy popping up about five yards to my right. I turn around, take a few long strides, and run my dagger across where the throat would be. I watch as it falls, knowing a new one will pop up not far from here. I look to where Brea is. Oh no! She’s surrounded by four of them I quickly throw two daggers taking two of the dummies out.
She nods in thanks as she proceeds to finish off the other two. After I retrieve my daggers Brea and I take out the other fourteen pretty handily. We are breathless by the time the last clay practice dummy falls, crumbling. We nod quickly to each other. A job well done.

As I walk down the corridor to return to my room later on, I am again cornered by Brea. “Nice job in training today,” she says, “you aren’t half bad.”
“Well, if it makes you feel better, I don’t think you’re completely horrendous either.” I say jokingly.
She dramatically bows, “Why thank you, you’re so kind!”
I start laughing at the fact that I may actually have found someone of whom I can finally have a good conversation with.
“So, what shall we do tonight?” Brea says excitedly.
“Surely not!” I say harshly, “After what we saw last night, I’m not going to risk it.”
“Oh come on,” she whines, “be a sport!”
“I said no!” I say, “Anyway, I’m awfully tired. I wouldn’t be able to.”
“Fine, be that way,” she says. “Tomorrow night I’ll be at the end of the corridor. You may meet with me if you like.” She looks directly at me. “If not, I’ll understand completely.” And that is all she says before she purposefully strides dramatically down the corridor .Great now that means I have to go. If I don’t she’ll surely never waste a word on me ever again. Fantastic. The last thing I need is to lose my only friend here.


+++


I wake in the middle of the night so suddenly I bang my head hard on the bunk above. While grimacing because of the throbbing pain, I see the same shadowy figure watching me in the corner of the room. As I look longer I realize it is an apparition of a man. His baby blue, sapphire eyes seem to see right through me; his harsh, chiseled, features make him look wolfish. I look at his expression and see one thing: hunger. He then smiles almost merrily, gives a slight wink and disappears into the darkness. Well, that’s different.
And what do you suppose that was Jo?
Nothing, just another mind trick.
Oh really?
Really.
I hope you’re right, Jo. I really do.
Why so?
It’s never a good thing to have something like that following you.
What do you mean?
Never mind. Just go to sleep, Jo. Go to sleep and forget.
I close my eyes and do as I’m told. Again, I have outsmarted myself.

Then I dream of the man. With those eyes, those piercing-blue eyes. I feel naked under the scrutiny of his unfaltering gaze. I then look down and see blood spurting out of my stomach, where embedded is a dagger. My dagger.
I wake up with a jolt man; the one from my room is, in fact, the same man who haunts my dreams. I feel a sudden chill and do a double-check just to make sure I am not injured. That dream- it seemed all too real. I gaze into the corner where I saw that apparition last night. Nothing. I replay the dream over and over in my head as I walk down the corridor to mess. I then stop as my expression changes with understanding. A chill makes its way up my spine.
“Jo! Over here, come have a seat!” Brea says happily. Great, she’s definitely milking it. She knows she won’t be able to find her way around without me. She needs my protection, so she is overly nice as a ploy to get me to take her. Oh why do I have to be so nice all the time?
“Jo,” she says getting impatient, “please come and sit!”
“Alright! I’m coming,” I say as I hurry over to where Brea sits waiting.
“So,” she whispers in my ear, “are you going to take me tonight?”
“I really cannot say no, can I?” I say with a slight smile.
She beams and throws her arms around me. “Oh I’m so happy you’ll take me! We’ll find a way out, I promise!” She says as she lets me go.
“Sounds like a plan,” I say, purposefully giving the corniest wink I can muster.
Brea cracks up hysterically and I cannot help but to join her. The happiness of laughter is a rare treat for us, and I thoroughly enjoy it. Everyone in the mess is looking at us oddly. Too bad! It is their own loss for being such sorry sobs, for Brea and I are enjoying our new sense of lightness.


+++


At the usual time I see Brea at the corner where our two corridors intersect. I wave to her and smile. She then returns the favor. We quickly set off into opposite directions, both looking for a way out. I am equipped with my most prized possessions: two daggers. From a distance they may seem quite plain, but up close you can see they are adorned with beautiful carvings and crested with rubies at the hilt. I took them once while taking food from the kitchens. I had seen these two daggers just lying in the freezer. I know, it puzzled me too. I figured no one else was going to claim them, so I just took them.
I turn around to see that Brea has disappeared from view. I sure hope she doesn’t cause any trouble, but most of all I wish she doesn’t find anything. I want to be the one, the one who saves us. I just couldn’t live through it if she did. She would definitely lord it over me for as long as I would know her. “Hey remember when I found an escape route from that underground prison, Jo?” “Why yes, Brea! I must say that your excellence is utterly amazing!” No way would I ever stand for that.
I continue to peek behind any door that seems suspicious, but I see nothing. As I start to head back towards Brea I hear light footsteps behind me. I turn around and see the figure striding down the corridor. I quicken my steps as I hear the other steps quicken as well. I rush towards where Brea and I are to meet.
The steps behind me stop suddenly. I know I shouldn’t, but I turn around to see. It is then, that I come face to face with him. His eyes inches from mine, he seems to look into my very soul. I find that I cannot move cannot look away. He has me ensnared. He then lovingly secures a stray piece of hair behind my ear as he leans in. His voice is kind and soft, as if cooing a pet.
“Do not worry. You will get out of here, and when you do,” he makes purposeful eye contact, “I shall immediately come to see you.”
I stare blankly into his eyes. I find that I cannot speak.
“I must go now, my pet. Do not worry I shall be watching closely, my dear. If I were you, though, I wouldn’t go looking into unknown places. You may not be pleased with what you see,” he says warmly, as if he knows what we had seen a couple nights ago.
I simply nod.
“Good. Now, why don’t you go back to your friend. She is lost and looking for you. Hurry now, pet. I’ll keep in touch,” is all he says before again, disappearing into the darkness.
“Books are mirrors: you only see in them what you already have inside you.”--Carlos Ruiz Zafon
  





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29 Reviews



Gender: Male
Points: 2005
Reviews: 29
Sun Oct 23, 2011 4:37 pm
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Crow29 says...



Hello again. Good to see this story's going well.
Your style works even better here than in chapter one. The way you blend reality and thought is, if nothing else, inspiring. Also the appearance of this figure to Joy is getting particularly interesting. It's like reading someone's mind as it begins to break apart. The interaction with him at the end brings the whole thing together; I thought Joy and Brea would find something else untowards, but leaving it with him worked so much more effectively. I must read more!
Alright, I admit the grammar hasn't escaped my critical eye, but I'm pretty well certain that this is mostly just typos and human error, so I wouldn't worry. I think there may have been a couple of spelling errors this time too, but to be fair, I have no idea how to spell traipsing so the error is probably mine.
A word of advice, if I may; try working on livening up the action scenes at training. It was good, but I didn't feel particularly stirred by the whole event, and it brought the story down as a whole. Your description during the rest of the piece was fantastic, but it was a little lacking there. Adverbs are your friend!
Other than that, I have little more to say but well done! I hope the ideas keep on flowing, this is a corking idea. Run with it.
Crow29
At the end of the day, when the sun is gone and the light is lost, the shadows will play.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fV9IJVoFR_Q
  





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25 Reviews



Gender: Male
Points: 2180
Reviews: 25
Tue Oct 25, 2011 2:19 pm
bryan says...



Good job im loving it so far keep it up. Just some advice though; kick up the action just a bit. I want to see some of the scenes become a little more alive and your better than me so im sure you can figure it out but so far your doing great man dont stop.

--[I wake in the middle of the night so suddenly I bang my head hard on the bunk above. While grimacing because of the throbbing pain, I see the same shadowy figure watching me in the corner of the room. As I look longer I realize it is an apparition of a man. His baby blue, sapphire eyes seem to see right through me; his harsh, chiseled, features make him look wolfish. I look at his expression and see one thing: hunger. He then smiles almost merrily, gives a slight wink and disappears into the darkness. Well, that’s different. ]

The first sentance could use a little more... like sinical humor from the character you know. Like a sarcastic gesture of some sort. But even without it i still enjoyed reading this great work.
*Imperfection Perfects the Heart*
  





User avatar
25 Reviews



Gender: Male
Points: 2180
Reviews: 25
Tue Oct 25, 2011 2:19 pm
bryan says...



Good job im loving it so far keep it up. Just some advice though; kick up the action just a bit. I want to see some of the scenes become a little more alive and your better than me so im sure you can figure it out but so far your doing great man dont stop.

--[I wake in the middle of the night so suddenly I bang my head hard on the bunk above. While grimacing because of the throbbing pain, I see the same shadowy figure watching me in the corner of the room. As I look longer I realize it is an apparition of a man. His baby blue, sapphire eyes seem to see right through me; his harsh, chiseled, features make him look wolfish. I look at his expression and see one thing: hunger. He then smiles almost merrily, gives a slight wink and disappears into the darkness. Well, that’s different. ]

The first sentance could use a little more... like sinical humor from the character you know. Like a sarcastic gesture of some sort. But even without it i still enjoyed reading this great work.
*Imperfection Perfects the Heart*
  





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5 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 930
Reviews: 5
Wed Oct 26, 2011 7:36 pm
HeyItsApril says...



Again, Davies, you have managed to baffle me with your incredible, unique style of writing! This almost inspired me to do my own novel work. So thank you for that. If I were to compare myself to any of the characters so far it would definitely be Brea. I just adore her personality, she's funny, obtuse, and all the while lovable. It really takes talent to develope characters like this. It's a talent I wish I would obtain. I shall be reading the third installment after this. POST MORE POST MORE. Forever may you write!


<3April<3
“What if evil doesn't really exist? What if evil is something dreamed up by man, and there is nothing to struggle against except out own limitations? The constant battle between our will, our desires, and our choices?” --Libba Bray
  








If food is poetry, is not poetry also food?
— Joyce Carol Oates