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The Ending War (Percy Jackson Fan Fic.) Chapt. I



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Points: 1112
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Sun Jan 16, 2011 4:34 am
mythologywriter says...



Spoiler! :
Hey, StoryWeaver here! Anyway, my little brother is in love with the Percy Jackson series, and he really really wanted to write a book like that with me. So...here we are! We aren't really looking for reviews, we just have no other way of keeping this, but any advice is okay too (just remember that he's eight and writing most of it plot-wise).


[Ethan]

Ethan was excited - a new camp, where he could fish, swim, and cook. And best of all. No school. He wasn't exactly a good swimmer; the waves always seemed to grow when he touched the water, like there was some sort of force fighting against him. He had to admit, it was strange.

Ethan dug into his backpack, taking out the picture of him, his sister and his mom. It was hard to imagine that they were a family; his mom was tall and average-looking with blonde hair, and his sister Sarah was admittedly pretty long straight black hair that flowed down her neck. Ethan? Well, he looked alright, but for whatever reason he just couldn't seem to fit into the picture the way they did. He was only eleven months older than Sarah, both twelve, but their personalities clashed like night and day. He was playful, strong, and a proud straight-C student of Windburry Middle School. Sarah was anything but; she got straight A's without even trying, but was so serious that she was irresistably annoyable. He laughed about the time he dropped paint-filled balloons onto her head from his treehouse. Yet even though he didn't seem to be the "golden child," the only thing he didn't like was the fact that he'd never met his dad. Not even seen him - no pictures,no name, nothing.

"Hey, Ethan!" He turned to see his friend Tyler Fisher, waving him over from where the Camp Kokomoquie flagpole stood. "Dodgeball! You playing my team?"

"Sure!" Ethan called back, smiling excitedly. He loved dodgeball; he'd been team captain in school, and loved the idea of pulverizing his enemies. Sneakers against the green, he headed through the forest to the dodgeball area. It was then, to his disappointment, that through the speakers blared the droning voice of campleader Lenny.

"Attention, everyone," Lenny said. "We're going hiking. Get those rears in gear and head up to North Arrowhead Trail." Great. Lenny was always dragging them on boring hikes - he'd been some champion cross-country hiker or something like that, and in the three weeks they'd been at the summer camp they must've gone on a million walks through the stupid forest. He debated the idea of faking a sprain, but decided against it; maybe later they'd be having a dodgeball tournament after all. With an irritated sigh, Ethan headed up the hill towards the dusty dirt path that snaked through the pines.

Tyler was already there by the time that Ethan trudged up the hillside, both boys looking equally unenthused. "I'm gonna go back down," Tyler decided. "Tired." With an exaggerated yawn, he glanced at Lenny, then made his way down to the cabin they shared. Ethan knew that by the look on Lenny's face, he wouldn't be so lucky.

They made their way through bush and briar, too hot in the sun and too cool in the shade, Ethan dying to get back to the camp's pond or the comfort of his cabin, where mythology video game awaited tucked secretly behind his bedpost. His navy-blue eyes looked up to see that the rest of his group had meanwhile made their way a good 20 yard ahead. He took a step, but stopped.

Something rustled in the bushes.

"Oh, no." Four glinting eyes stared back at him. In the bush was a long, dark, two-headed snake. "What the--?"

Before he could say anything else, one head lunged while the other writhed around his ankles hissing. Ethan fell to the ground, forcing the one head away from his throat while the other looked to take a bite out of his leg. Finally, the thin, muscular neck of the creature pulled away from his grip. Of all things, Ethan knew this could be it. So many weird things like this had happened to him before that it could hardly even be considered weird anymore - like the nurse that turned out to be some strange snake-lady, or the weird bird that had the head of a woman that came at him while he was with his school at the park. This couldn't even be considered 'weird' anymore. But this was impossible. He couldn't squirm or fight his way out of this.

The snake lunged, fangs exposed, when -

Snap! Ethan stared wide-eyed at the snake head that had now rolled two feet from his knee. Lenny stared over him, to Ethan's surprise holding a club. The club is tossed into Ethan's hand. "How do I kill the hydra with this?!" Ha. Finally his Mythology 101 paid off.

"Use the club to keep him away, but you'll have to use fire to kill it! There's no other way, or the heads will keep multiplying!" Lenny shouted.

Ethan ignored his order, though Lenny was right and the hydra's two heads were now three. Still, Ethan clamored over to the side, wielded the club over his head, and slammed it into the body of the snake. The hydra crumbled to the ground, smoke rising from the dead figure.

"Don't worry," Lenny assured. "It will take years for it to return."

Ethan looked around suddenly, realizing that they were now alone in a silent and darkened forest. Above them in the sky, the first stars glimmered and appeared. He had a million questions, and they came pouring out of his mouth. "Why'd that thing come at me?" he asked. "Why's this stuff always happening to me?"

"You should know the truth about your father, Ethan," Lenny said. Ethan had no clue what his campleader could possibly know about his father, and this only brought more questions to his head. As if reading his mind, Lenny added, "I don't know who he is, exactly, but he's a god of Greek mythology. This is hard to explain, but get in the car and things will be cleared up. I've already told your cabin that you're going home and I packed your bags, and told your mom not to worry, that camp's been extended."

"I'm going home?" Ethan felt bad that he'd be leaving Tyler with no explanation.

"No," Lenny said. "Your new home."''
  





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Sun Jan 16, 2011 4:56 pm
tinkembell says...



Wow I thought this was really good, I'm not too big of a percy jackson fan but it was quite interesting :) I'm not going to give it a big reveiw because you said you didn't want one but I'm just going to point out this;

mythologywriter wrote:He had to admit, it was strange.

Ethan dug into his backpack, taking out the picture of him, his sister and his mom. It was hard to imagine that they were a family; his mom was tall and average-looking with blonde hair, and his sister Sarah was admittedly pretty


maybe you should change one of these words to improve the flow, apart from that i really liked it, keep up the writing :)
"The rabbit always squeals in the jaws of the fox, but when has another rabbit ever rushed up to save it?" Damon Salvatore
;'( please, my lump, he just needs HUGS <3
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Just keep writing, just keep writing, do-do-do-do-do
  





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Sun Sep 04, 2011 2:11 pm
Rocklobster says...



Your eight year old brother wrote this?? If so, he's good. I really liked this, it seemed not to stray too far from Percy Jackson and the Olympians, but it was also your own ideas and plots and stuff. I enjoyed reading it, write more!
when i was five, i was asked what i wanted to be when i grew up.
i said happy.
they said i didn't understand the question.
i said they didn't understand life. --john lennon <3
  








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