Young Writers Society

Author's Note: This parody is based on a fantasy, not actual events.

Part 1: All that Sparkles

I once knew a girl named Bella. She was shy, klutzy, and introverted.

I once knew a boy named Edward. He was mysterious and brooding. I swore I once saw him sparkle when a stray ray of light hit his skin. I asked him about and he denied it a little too vehemently.

Between Bella's obsessing and Edward's brooding they almost made me blow a fuse. But Bella was really the one who got on my nerves so I killed her. This is the tale of her tragic and somewhat sparkly demise.



He was staring at her from across the lunch room. She would look over at him and he would look away, brooding. Then she would look away and he would stare at her again. Did I mention that Edward always seemed to be brooding? My left eye twitched. Bella looked at Edward again.

"Bella," I said. "Don't even think about it."

She looked at me. "Huh?"

"The Cullens. They don't associate with anyone at this school. Especially Edward." I paused. "Don't tell Jessica I'm telling you this. She'll murder me, but Edward Cullen turned her down before she even asked."

Bella stared at me five seconds before shaking her head, then running her hand through her hair. "No. I, uh, wasn't."

I looked at her suspiciously. "Whatever you say," I muttered.

"Huh?"

"Nothing, nothing," I replied. The bell rang obnoxiously, scattering my train of thought. Next was biology. I hated biology, but there was no sense in being late. I dumped the rest of my tray and hurried off to class.

I was the first one there, as usual. By now, people thought I actually liked biology or something. The teacher greeted me without looking up from the papers he was grading, "Good morning, Joss." I grunted in response.

Edward came in after me, as always. But then Bella walked in. The teacher had the fan on high and she stopped in front of it, just staring at Edward. I raised an eyebrow. Bella seemed to pose in front of the fan for what seemed like forever, her hair blowing around her face. Stop standing in front of the freaking fan, I thought. What is this some cheesy teen movie? There were no seats open except the one next to Edward. Coincidence or fate?

Mr. Banner droned on and on about cells.

Suddenly there was a loud "SNAP". I instinctively looked over in Edward's direction. The desk was snapped in two. I furrowed my eyebrows.

What the heck?

The bell rang and Edward shot out of class leaving the rest of us in shock. When Mr. Banner gained his composure he yelled, "Edward, come back! And bring some super glue." I doubt Edward heard him.

Bella looked like she was about to cry. I rolled my eyes.

As I walked down the hall, Bella caught up to me. "Hey, does he always act like that?"

I blinked. "Snapping desks in two? Yeah, doesn't every teenage boy?" I said in monotone. "What did you do? Scratch his Volvo?" Edward Cullen had this awesome silver Volvo that made me insanely jealous. My own mini cooper looked like crap in comparison.

"I didn't do anything," she said defensively. "Wait. He has a Volvo?"

I shook my head. "You're thinking about it."

"I'm not, I'm not." She quickly changed the subject. "So what do you do for fun around here?"

I shrugged. "I don't believe in fun. Ask Jessica."

Bella laughed, but it wasn't genuine.

"If you don't think it's funny, don't laugh." I walked faster, leaving her behind in the crowd.

Hey Scarlette!

This was quite amusing. I like the humor, and would like to see more of it. Though, there are many places where things here could be expanded upon. It felt a tad rushed, but all that you need to do is slow things down and throw in descriptions and such. Show what the characters look like, what the school looks like, etc.

I shrugged. "I don't believe in fun. Ask Jessica."

I laughed at this line, great stuff. I'm liking this character, Joss, but really want to see more of her. Let her shine.

That's all I have to say for now. Great job! Keep writing!

-Lauren-

Lauren-

Thanks for the for your advice and criticism. I will definitely keep it in mind as I work on part two and revise part one.

~Nicole

I enjoyed that!! Joss seems very snarky and against Edward AND Bella, it was good. Usually it's either one or the other. I'm interested to read more, especially Joss' character development with the two 'main' characters.

Like Lauren said, it did feel a little rushed. Breathe and slow down a little. Introduce us to Joss, unless that's already planned for chapter two

It reminded me of that Hillywood video parody they did of Twilight, with the Katie Perry song.

Keep up the good work!

Hi, Lette!

Well, I have to say that after reading this, you got the personalities of Edward and Bella very well. But I have to say that I don't like the MC and it seems that time has no bounds. You might need to clear some of that up. And I suggest maybe identifying your MC, I hate stories without the MC having a name.

Anyways, that's all I have for you.

Teddy