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Naruto - New Generation X Chapter 7



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Fri Apr 29, 2011 10:59 pm
ElementalBlood says...



Chapter 7



Location: Leaf Village Forest

"Wait! Where are you taking me?" Rein yelled at Tsuki.

Tsukimiya ignored her for the moment. If she had done it right, the Mizukage was likely chasing after them as well as the Hokage. Well, by right she didn't mean that she wanted him following them, she just felt like annoying him.
She made one-handed signs frantically. There were 27 of them to complete. As she crossed her first two fingers and placed her thumb underneath them, she yelled "Concealing Jutsu!"
Suddenly, all sounds disappeared from her ears except for those of herself, Rein and Shikabane. She stopped running and smiled, knowing her jutsu had been completed in time. No one could disturb them for the moment. They were surrounded on all sides by an invisible "wall."

"What did you just do?" Rein looked at Tsuki cautiously.

"I simply made it so no one can see or detect us,” Tsuki replied casually.

“Wait! What?" Rein looked around. "Why!?" She didn't feel quite comfortable with this so suddenly.

Komadori followed Shadow into the forest. Suddenly, he stopped dead and started looking around. "Huh? What's wrong boy?" she asked him. She looked around and couldn't see Tsukimiya or Rein anywhere or even hear them. Looking back at Shadow, she watched as he sniffed the air. "Did you lose them?" He continued to sniff trying to find the scent that he had lost.

Alister walked up behind the Hokage. “Damn, lost them,” he said with a yawn. “Well, since we’ve lost them it will be a while before we find them.” He looked at her.

Komadori gave him an annoyed look. "Where the heck is she taking Rein anyway?" She asked it but didn't expect any sort of answer.

“My theory is: nowhere. I believe she wanted some privacy. She will still be close by but I highly doubt we’ll find her. It’ll be okay, she knows that if she kills Rein she will face the wrath of two Great Kages,” Alister said with a slight smile but he still looked into the forest with a worried expression.

Komadori laughed with an almost knowing sound to it. "You say we're great and it's going to be okay but you sure look worried."

Alister coughed, embarrassed. “I’m not worried…I just…um, just…um, never mind,” he said childishly. He went back to the clearing at sat down.

Komadori looked at him suspiciously. Suddenly, she couldn't stop herself from laughing. Between her laughter and gasps for air, she asked him, "Are you thinking about what the Kazekage said? About Rein being your....girlfriend?!"

Alister stared incredulously at Komadori. “That is creepy. I’m 19 and she’s 15. How could the Kazekage even think we’re dating, it makes no sense. Can’t a male and a female be friends without people saying they’re dating?” He sighed softly and got up, walking back to Komadori.

Komadori continued to laugh. The way he was trying to say everything so innocently just seemed to be making his situation worse from her point of view.

Alister sat down on the ground and stared back at the sky.

Komadori stopped laughing for a moment. "...Are you going to space out again?" Shadow stood behind her, still searching for the scent that he would never find.

Tsuki smiled and let go of Rein, the girl couldn't leave the barrier anyway. She turned to her and told her extremely seriously, "I'm not going to kill you. I simply wanted to ask...well, favour isn't exactly the word I'm looking for." Shikabane twitched her ears and shook her body down to the tip of her tail, obviously slightly bored with the theatrics of her mistress.

“I never spaced out. I heard you talking, it’s hard not to,” Alister said with a chuckle. “I’m always aware of my surroundings. Perhaps you should try it.”

Rein looked at Tsuki almost sceptically. "What are you talking about?"

"Simply this," Tsuki replied as though it was near stupid for a person not to understand what she was talking about. "You have an ability I'm interested in. You can speak to animals, correct?"

Komadori gave Alister an angry look. "Heh, who said I wasn't aware of my surroundings?"

Rein looked at Tsuki. "Yeah, so what?" Rein said it like it was a normal thing for humans to talk with animals.

“No one, you just assumed I meant that,” Alister corrected softly. “Believe what you want, it doesn’t matter to me,” he added with a tone close to serious, giving the Hokage a glance before returning his gaze to the sky.

Tsuki smiled. "So I was not mistaken. Uncharacteristically, Shikabane would not speak about you to me very much. She seemed to be pondering on something. It is clear that my assumption was correct." She stepped back and patted Shikabane, who purred contentedly. Looking at Rein dead in the eye, she asked "Would you like to join the Metame clan?"

"The what?" Rein asked confused.

Tsuki's smile wavered slightly. This was an important decision, one she had spent quite a lot of time in thinking over. It was a matter of pride. Her clan was her pride; she had made it the powerful success it was back in the Sand Village. To meet a person who didn't even know of its name stung. "The Metame Clan," she said slowly, carefully, keeping her anger in check. "The Neko Clan. Many call it that. My clan. I have the authority to ask you, considering I am the current head."

The leaves overhead rustled and a few fell from the tree’s branches to the ground. Someone, Akashia, was now watching the Hokage and the Mizukage, and smiling cruelly.

"I don't know... I should talk to Komadori and Alister first." Rein looked at Tsuki.

Raal appeared behind Akashia. “Oh look, the Hokage and the Mizukage, just our luck,” he said in a whisper.

Tsuki’s eyes narrowed. She was not used to people saying no to her, even if that no was simply a postponing of an answer. Even so, she couldn't afford not to have this girl. "Alright then." She twitched and spun around to see Shikabane leap to her feet and start growling. "Someone's here... am I right Shika-chan?" Shikabane let out a deafening roar in response. Tsukimiya prepared to summon Shinryoenbou outside the barrier. She turned to Rein, "Gather yourself and quickly. Someone isn't just here to accuse you. They're likely here to kill us all..."

Rein looked at her and nodded. She began to gather chakra around her right arm to create her wind blade.

“Come my friend, I believe I sense a tailed beast.” Raal smirk spoke of blood and war.

Akashia dropped from the tree with a wild laugh and landed with a thud close to where Komadori and Alister conversed. She tore her hat from her head and let her white hair fall. “Now, I think we should introduce ourselves. I’m Akashia Lilium, and you should know my friend Raal.” She stood straight and smirked.
“And I don’t think we need to say what we do for a living.”
Who's ever name is written in this note shall die.
My allegiance is to L, the world's greatest detective.
But my twisted mind enjoys Kira's exploits.
  





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Sun May 01, 2011 4:23 am
fireheartedkaratepup says...



Hmm, pretty good. I had a hard time getting into it (and I do have the ability to jump in mid-story) because it was all oc's though. The only way you can really tell it's from the Naruto universe is the mention of things they do in that world.

Which, I guess, can be excused--after all, not all the tailed beasts have been shown. Still, this will only appeal to a certain fanbase--Naruto lovers. Within that fanbase, it will only appeal to a certain type of Naruto fan--the person who likes loads of oc's. (That's original character, in case you didn't know.)

So, do you see how you've narrowed your audience? When writing fanfiction, it's better to take what already exists and work with it. Of course, it's pretty late in the game to be saying this.... keep that in mind for next time, maybe. Also, if you haven't already, the characters should meet up with at least one of the cast members--there's a lot of people in that show already, and adding your own people makes things even more confusing.

Overall, good story. Just keep in mind it's not everyone's cup of tea.
"Ok, Lolpup. You can be a girl worth fighting for."
--Pengu
  





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Sun May 01, 2011 9:10 pm
Soulkana says...



Wow this makes me want to get back into Naruto!!! Haha Amazing I meant to review your other chapters but that never workd out so Yay. I really liked this and it brings back my Naruto fandom....Must post my Fanfiction on here now XD. Good luck and I hope you keep up with this its a very good plot at far as I can tell. Also I didn't find any spelling errors in this so thats always a plus.

Like my friend said its not going to be liked by everyone so don't take the comments as bad but as a way of getting outside opinion. In my opinion this was good and I hope you continue so I can keep read and get more hooked into the Naruto world once more.

I also like that you made this somewhat yours. Its very good so good job. So I hope this helps out somewhat. I really liked this story and I hope you continue. I might need to reread your earlier chapters as it has been awhile XD. Good luck and Happy Review Day!!! Keep up the good work and I hope you get many helpful reviews. Untill Next time I shall depart.
Soulkana<3
May the gentle moon take you into peaceful dreams. May the mighty sun brighten your new days.
  








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