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Battle Of The Hopeless (Chapter 8)



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Wed Nov 30, 2011 5:09 pm
polinkacreations says...



Spoiler! :
Woot woot - new character! But, I'm not spoiling for you, please read on, and ENJOY! :) And thanks in advance if you're reviewing or/and liking!


Chapter 8
Felix

We were not alone. I knew it, I could feel it with every inch of my existence. Yet I couldn’t see anyone having this fear. It wasn’t fear like Delem had. It was a fear mixed with determination, it was a deep fear, which was kept hidden. It was also a fear which couldn’t stop from carrying on, rather one that made one cautious. Delem’s fear was pretty obvious, even though he tried to hide it. His hate was hidden, and I still didn’t have an answer for this.
Whoever this was, whose feelings I could sense, was getting closer to where we were. Delem stood up, and looked in the direction I stared, but didn’t see anything. Neither did I. He asked:
‘Is it someone we should be afraid of?’
‘It’s someone as lost as we are, so no.’
Delem was so cautious. He always wanted to feel secure, and safe. I wonder how he coped with this, as he’s been in a war. Maybe that’s why he deserted, because he didn’t feel secure, he was afraid of getting hurt. Or, was he afraid of hurting others? Delem walked towards the main door, and stepped outside. I followed after him, still keeping my distance. The sun has given me plenty of energy for now, and I wasn’t in need of his emotions to keep myself active. We both stood in the sun, looking around, trying to find the mysterious figure. Still, I sensed the emotions of this person as if they were Delem’s - whoever this was, he or she were close. Delem spoke once again, becoming agitated:
‘What do you feel? Don’t keep silent, please!’
‘It’s getting closer. Look around. It’s coming in our direction.’
‘Well, it can’t hide, it’s broad daylight!’
Suddenly, a noise reached our ears simultaneously. We both turned to the source of the noise, but saw only a shadow cast on the wall. Someone was obviously standing behind a wall some twenty or thirty metres away, but stopped, leaning against the wall. Delem was about to take a step forward, but I signalled him to stay in place. The fear of this person was coming back. I realised it was us who the figure feared, so I spoke, loudly enough for the shadow to hear, but calmly enough not to scare it.
‘We won’t harm you. We are just as disorientated and anxious as you are.’
‘Yeah, show yourself! We won’t hurt you!’ - Delem picked up on my technique, although not as smoothly as I had done it. There was no reply. Suddenly, the figure ran into our sight, and stopped sharply. It turned its head towards us, but all I could notice was bright, shimmering eyes hidden underneath a hood. We made eye contact for barely a second, but it was enough for the figure to understand that we aren’t a threat.Yet, there I knew it wasn’t us who it was scared of. The figure ran forward, into the shade of the building across, to escape. Straight after it, more shadows appeared on the walls, and six men dressed in army uniforms stepped out from behind the wall, just where the figure was a split second ago. One of the men turned to us, and froze in place. Felix’s eyes widened with surprise, and fear. Suddenly, I felt such a wave of different emotions flowing onto me, it was really hard to cope with, so I stepped back, trying to block out all the emotional pressure. It felt so strange in the first place to feel someone else’s emotions, let alone seven people. All six men were dressed in army uniforms, and all had guns. I knew I had nothing to be scared of anyway, but still I took a defensive position.
Is it possible to kill a spirit?
But now wasn’t the time for thoughts. The men looked far from friendly, and their feelings reflected this very well. Yet, none of them dared to move. It was probably because of me. I glanced at Delem, trying to understand how to act in this situation. Suddenly, he spoke:
‘It ran that way’ - and pointed to a completely different direction.
The soldiers glanced at each other, and one of them made a hand gesture for the others to split up, and go the way Delem pointed. Why did Delem defend the figure? It could have been an enemy. Though, it might be that soldiers just like them condemned him to death. Once the soldiers were gone, Delem let out a sigh of relief, and muttered:
‘Let’s go back into the cafe. Good thing they didn’t know who I was...’
I decided that it was the most rational thing to do - in case we did see the soldiers coming back, we could at least hide.

But as soon as we entered the dusty, brown room, we were met with the same shimmering eyes. The figure sat at a table, carefully studying us. This time, it’s fear was gone. Now, it was rather interested in us. When it was sure that we could be trusted, it flipped back it’s hood. First off, it was a girl, of no more than seventeen years old, with light brown hair, and magnificent, grey eyes, that were slightly green near the middle. Delem stood frozen in place, stunned by her beauty. She was dressed in army camouflage, but in darker colours than the usual outfit, hiding her hands in her pockets. Also, I saw patches of mud on her outfit and on her face. She looked weary, but determined. She glanced at me with a spark of interest in her eyes. Delem whispered:
‘See, an enemy doesn’t have such beautiful eyes...’
The girl kept looking at me, like a small child at an exotic animal in a zoo, then finally spoke:
‘A boy and his spirit friend, huh?’
Delem quickly replied:
‘I am Delem. And this is Felix’.
‘Felix?’ - she smiled, - ‘Spirits don’t have names’.
‘Well, I do’ - I answered, still not able to take my eyes off her, this mysterious figure.
The girl asked us to sit down, and then presented herself:
‘I’m Katrina. And, I want to thank you for getting those soldiers off track. It won’t be for long, but now I have some time to rest, at least.’
Delem shook his head, and brushed the dust off his clothes. I stood further away, not to harm her. Even now, she kept studying me with her quick, sharp stare. She asked:
‘You’re really a spirit?’
‘I’m not sure’ - I replied, keeping my distance.
‘You can come over here, you know.’
Katrina gestured me to get closer, but I shook my head in disagreement. She smiled, and demanded:
‘If you are a spirit, then cover your eyes with your hands. Then you can be as close to a human as you want to be.’ 

For some reason, I obeyed without question, and realised that her technique worked. Not only I could now sit on the table close to her, but I also stopped feeling any kind of emotions other than mine. I heard Delem make assumptions:
‘So this is why these soldiers were chasing you.’
‘You’re pretty smart, Delem. Are you a soldier?’
‘Used to be’ - Delem replied.
Katrina must have not understood what he implied, because he quickly clarified:
‘I’m a deserter’.
‘Ooh. Well, never thought I’d say this, but being a deserter in a war like this is more honourable than fighting at all’.
I, trying to remember to keep my eyes closed, finally got the courage to ask the question that’s been bothering me for a while now:
‘Katrina, why are you not scared of me?’
‘If you stayed by a human for longer than two minutes and managed not to make him commit suicide, then you’re not a threat’ - she replied, in an almost indifferent tone.
‘Reasonable’.
I heard the feet of the chair scrape the wooden floor, and Delem replying, in a lower voice, probably hiding a hint of resentment:
‘He did try to, though.’
‘I didn’t mean to’ - I answered, trying to defend myself.
Katrina laughed. To me, it was the most wonderful sound yet. It was light-hearted and sincere, unlike the soldiers, unlike Delem.
‘You don’t know you’re capable of? Wow, you truly are fascinating.’
I heard her stand up, and announce:
‘Well, gentlemen, I have to get going.’
And then my heart jumped up to my throat: I nearly opened my eyes. Fearing what I could have done, I pressed my eyelids together as much as I could. Fortunately, I think I didn’t open them, as I heard Katrina’s footsteps heading to the door. Delem jumped up and went in the same direction, and only then I could open my eyes. I slowly put my hands away, and followed Delem through the door. He just wouldn’t let Katrina leave, he couldn’t. I think he might be experiencing what they call love. It’s not an actual emotion in itself, it’s a huge mixture of the best emotions you could ever feel, and I could feel all of it, just like Delem was. My thoughts on following her were that we could use a strong-spirited person who knew what she was doing, and that was all. I don’t think spirits are able to love, as all I was feeling was Delem’s emotions, not mine. But, Delem was feeling amazing, and I couldn’t help but spark a little jealousy. I saw him catch up with her, and ask:
‘Where are you going to go?’
‘To the sectors, where else?’ - she replied, as if it was the simplest thing in the world. - ‘You might not want to follow me’.
But that was a lie. She did want us to follow her, from the very beginning of the conversation, when she somehow sneaked behind us and entered the cafe. But I didn’t mind following her, and neither did Delem. I felt that she might be the key, the answer to my questions. If she knew about the ‘eyes closed’ technique, who knows how much more does she know? And what were those ‘sectors’ she was talking about?

I needed answers, Delem wanted her, and she needed protection.
And so, the three of us lurked in the shadows, listening out to the footsteps of the soldiers, carefully searching for an exit in the labyrinth of grey buildings, setting off on a journey I would never forget.
"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind." - Dr. Seuss
  





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Thu Dec 01, 2011 8:02 pm
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Omni says...



I really like this story, although I haven't read chapters 1-7 (lol total spoiler on my part) but from what I can see of this new character, she has a lot of knowledge, using her "good looks" to get Delem to follow her.

She is also cautious. I won't say anything else, because if I do, I might be foreshadowing.

I really love this story, and can't wait for you to do another chapters while I get caught up with the story.
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Wed Dec 07, 2011 7:25 pm
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Lauren2010 says...



Hiya Polinka! Back again to review!

I adore Katrina already. She's exactly the kind of character these two need in their journey/lives. I also really like how you described love at the end, and it's really interesting how Felix is able to feel Delem's emotions and is able to somewhat experience the same emotions for himself in that way. The whole concept of this magic/power is fascinating, and really well developed. I don't tend to question much of the magic, because it's presented in such a realistic and believable way, which is hard to accomplish.

‘What do you feel? Don’t keep silent, please!’

This doesn't sound like something anyone would actually say, and therefore struck me as odd. Particularly the 'Don't keep silent, please!' bit. While dialogue in fiction isn't exactly like what people would really say (we tend to pause a lot and use a lot of 'uhm's and 'uhh's when we talk haha) it shouldn't sound so...fake. It should be a sort of stylized real so as to keep a reader immersed in the story without making them have to look at the writing twice because the dialogue reads weird.

Suddenly, a noise reached our ears simultaneously.

The 'simultaneously' is unneeded in this sentence. By saying 'reach our ears' it's understood that it's both of them hearing this at the same time. The 'simultaneously' makes it redundant, and an adverb-heavy sentence (which is never what you want ;))

I stood further away, not to harm her.

Standing close to her would harm her?
Oh, reading on, yes it would. Perhaps this was better explained before, but it makes me wonder why spirits can't better control this emotion-draining power in a way other than covering their eyes. Is it a difficult power to gain mental control over?

Other than that, another lovely chapter! I can't wait to see how Katrina continues to contribute to this group, and what else they get themselves into! Great job!

Keep writing!

-Lauren-
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