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Dragonmaster Chapter 16: Sienna



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Sat Jun 25, 2011 9:52 pm
DakotaK says...



It was midday and Valsephony was lying heavily on my back. I rolled over and realized Victor had woken me. He looked much better and was standing alongside me, shaking me.
“Zavier. Zavier wake up!” he hissed loudly. I shoved him off and sat up.
“What is it, Victor?”I muttered, covering a yawn with my cramped hand. He glanced around nervously then turned and whispered quietly to me.
“We have to get out of here. That potion she gave you to feed me is poisoned. She’s going to try and kill me, Zavier, we just have to leave.”His body was shaking and I was worried to see that the rash had again spread further.
“But you seem so much better.”I yawned again and rolled out of bed, landing on my feet.
“So what’s your plan?”I asked wearily. He shook his head as he walked over to his own bed, sitting down heavily as he sighed disgustedly.
“I don’t know. The only thing I can think of is my magic-”
“That’s a great idea!”I urged him on but he shook his head once again.
“I haven’t attempted magic for over a year. It could be fatal...” he mused angrily.
“To you or the witch?” I was confused.
He glanced up then flopped back onto the bed.
“Both...”
“Zavier?” A small voice sounded from across the room and I rose and pulled the curtains back from Timmy’s bed. The boy’s eyes were closed and he looked deathly pale.
“Hey, Timmy. You ok?” I asked worriedly.
He shook his head as he tried to open his heavy eyelids. I heard Victor’s bed squeak as he rose and approached the curtains, his hand still grasping at his throat.
“Who’s this, Zavier?”He neared the bed and Timmy reached up a shivering hand which Victor clasped gently.
“Timmy, this is Victor. Victor this is Timmy.” Victor nodded to the small boy who was staring up at him in awe.
“You’re a Wizard-”
Victor looked a bit taken aback as he released Timmy’s hand and it dropped to the bed covers issuing a dull thump.
“Victor, anyone could tell. Your tattoos obviously mark you as a Wizard... What’s wrong with people knowing?” I asked quietly, glad that Timmy didn’t seem offended my Victor’s brash manner. The Wizard had paled visibly as he glanced down at his bare chest and examined the lacy intertwining spell rites that covered his body.
“What do they say, Victor?” Timmy looked as if he longed to touch the purpling tattoos, his eyes widening as he struggled to sit up.
“A Wizard is tattooed with the first spell they manage to cast from Castov’s Book of Spells. It is an ancient book filled with spells, the farther to the back of the book the more powerful the spells. The spell I cast that day so long ago was a spell written in the last chapter of the book. That is why the witch could tell I used to be pretty powerful...”He looked reluctant when he told us this then turned and left me with Timmy in the billowy white curtains.
“Wow, that is so cool, Zavier! You didn’t tell me your friend was a Wizard...”He gazed at me and I smiled.
“Well, we’re kind of traveling undercover. Victor doesn’t really want people to know who he is I think,” I stated quietly.
Timmy shakily nodded then slipped back down into the covers and closed his eyes. I turned to leave but his small voice echoed out from behind me.
“You’ll take me with you won’t you?” The question startled me and I paused. Strangely enough I had been considering the idea of taking Timmy with us throughout the night. There was something about him I just couldn’t ignore. I turned around but the boy had already drifted off to sleep, his question unanswered.
I found Victor lying on his bed, pretending to be asleep, but I could tell by his quick breathing that he was faking it. I sat back down on my own bed only to jump to my feet moments later when the door flew open. Victor was on his feet in an instant, glaring at the Witch as she approached him.
“Ah. I see you’re up and looking well.” She smiled malevolently, a snowy white grin that chilled me to the bones.
“Esmeralda,” Victor spat the name with such hatred in his voice it scared me. Even the Witch seemed slightly taken aback.
“Well, well, well. I see that you really are feeling better.” She had stopped and was gazing coolly at him. A wide black sash was wrapped firmly around her head, her black hair cascading out from beneath it and she wore a black leather dueling suit beneath a black dress that resembled a fisher’s net more than anything else.
“I’ll duel you, Esmeralda,” Victor growled as he yanked his hand away from his throat and took a step toward her. Hadn’t he just said using his magic would be fatal? I wanted to scream at him and tell him he was crazy, yet I knew not to interfere with the ancient rivalry between Witch and Wizard.
“Ha, you humor me, Victor. I would never fight you in the state you’re in right now, it would be taking advantage of you,” her sly voice carried slowly across the room and Victor stiffened in rage.
“You are a fool, Witch!” Victor yelled angrily as blue-white light seared from his body and flowed along the tattoos covering his body. He lifted his head, his eyes glowing as power collected around his hands and I saw Esmeralda flinch.
The next second I was blasted backwards against the wall. The heavy wooden bed I’d been lying on came flying through the air and land on top of me, crushing me against the floor.
I heard Esmeralda laughing as a bright white light flared and someone screamed in pain. I struggled underneath the bed and tried to lever the huge weight off me, yet it was hopeless. The scream died away as brighter blue light filled the room. I choked when the smell of rotting and decaying flesh surrounded me. It was the most horrible smell I’d ever encountered before, worse than the smell of death itself.
Someone was screaming again but I couldn’t tell who. The bed continued to crush me and I struggled for breath. The Witch was laughing again as the scream rose in pain and my palm seared. I screamed a silent cry for help and suddenly felt something move inside of me.



I am in a mountain. No, I am the mountain. The mountain pulses and shakes as I flex my wings which are heavy with rocks and boulders, but someone has called. I must come. I struggle to claw through the soil and rock, and finally my head breaks the surface. My scales glisten as the sun shines on the ebony black armor and I shed the weight of the mountain that has been resting on my back for six hundred years. I rise to the top of the pile of rubble; the only remains of a once great mountain. My green eyes blink the dust and I hear a distant scream and feel myself being beckoned.
The girl is waiting for me, she will take me there. She slowly climbs the rubble and her hard face and arms reflect the mountain itself. I lunge back on my powerful hind legs, my wings stirring the windless air as I let out a roar of joy. I am free.



I am myself again, yet still, I can feel the mighty dragon. She lowers herself to the ground and the girl climbs onto her back. The dragon roars and takes to the sky, her leathery wings bringing her closer. The girl points and the dragon glances down to see her guide. A unicorn races through the forest as fast as her legs can carry her and the dragon follows.
I am back in the room again. Breath is refusing to come to me and all is relatively still around me and eerily silent. There is no sinister laughing, no screaming in pain. They are dead. That is the only way. I will soon join them. The bed compresses my lungs and Valsephony imprints into my back, a pain I am comforted by.
There is a noise as clutter is shuffled through and Victor is by my side. “Zavier, hold on, I’ll get you out of there in a moment.”
His face disappeared and the bed slowly lightened and rolled. I could hear him straining from the effort. I willed him on but he ended dropping it back onto me. I gasped as it returned to crushing me. Blue light filled the room and the bed weightlessly levitated off of me, my lungs filling with air.
I quickly rose to my feet and gasped. Victors left arm and side were burned black and a sickly puss was oozing from the wound. He also had a long gash across his chest from his left shoulder down to his hip.
“Victor! What happened?”I pointed to the black burnt wound and he touched it tenderly.
“When I used my magic the first time it was overwhelming. It was the blast that sent you and your bed flying. Esmeralda attacked me using a destroying curse and when I deflected it and summoned my magic, it kind of backfired and released all of my so-called decaying magic...” Victor blushed as he scratched at his back looking embarrassed. I looked around the charred and smoking room and was oddly overjoyed to see Timmy’s bed untouched. I raced over to it, Victor following me closely.
“I put a protective spell on him as soon as I was up and standing after the pain simmered down.” Victor spoke tightly and I realized he was shaking from the effort he’d put forth in the battle.
I pulled back the curtains and let out a sigh of relief. The boy was still asleep, his small chest rising and falling peacefully.
“Come on, let’s get out of here. Where did the Witch go?” I asked eagerly. I approached Timmy, prepared to wake him, when Victor put a hand on my shoulder, stopping me.
I stared at him, his gaze holding a look of unease and horror.
“She left, Zavier... but before her departure she put a strong enclosure spell on this room. There is no way out, I’m afraid. No type of magic I have can counter a protective enclosure spell. It was made for Witches to use to be able to contain powerful Wizards if they became too powerful and lost their minds, in order to prevent them from hurting anyone. Like any spell it has rules and obviously I’m sane but somehow she found a way around them,” he spat angrily.
My heart sank. We were going to die after all. My mind convulsed as I switched back and forth between the one I had called and my own bruised body. And then I remembered the Dragon. My hand pulsed, gleaming as I called her with all of my heart. We needed her. The jewel in my hand burned against my flesh and I felt her stir within me.



I no longer needed the unicorn to guide me and I soared past her to the agitation of the girl on my back. He had called again and he knew I was coming. I let out a mighty roar of glee then spewed a stream of lava-like sludge which faded to ashes before it hit the ground. His summon was as strong as any that had been told of to me before.
I banked as I neared the castle. It was a gleaming white against the sun and burned my eyes. I soared around the tallest tower and reveled in the screams of terror that echoed out from the grounds below.
Turning, I saw the building he was trapped in. I neared it and stretched my wings taught to slow my descent. Changing my mind in a heartbeat, I pulled my wings tight to my body and dropped from the sky as I plummeted toward the black-roofed building. The girl on my back screamed at our sudden drop, moments later we crashed through the first story of wooden timbers.





I fell to the floor as she landed on the ceiling above us and Victor knelt beside me.
“Zavier, what’s happening!” His eyes were wide and scared, not a reassuring thing.
“I called her, and she’s coming,” I panted, excitement filling me. “I didn’t know what else to do...”
Victor’s brow creased as he helped me sit up and we simultaneously looked up to the ceiling as a mighty scraping and scratching began and her clawed fist fell through. Victor and I ran towards Timmy’s bed and out of the way just in time as the gleaming black dragon fell through the ceiling in a shower of wood splinters and timbers, her dragon magic enough to snap the enclosure spell with a loud explosion.
When she hit the floor it quivered under her weight and she glanced at me mischievously, her beautiful green eyes captivating me. In one quick movement the dragon had crashed through the floor into the basement. Victors hand shot upward and I looked towards where he was pointing.
“Zavier look! There’s a girl up there!” he cried anxiously. Indeed there was. I quickly recognized the troll-girl as Sage, she was hanging from the splintered floor boards, desperately attempting to pull herself up from falling to the floor below, her booted feet flailing out behind her.
“Sage!”I yelled her name but she took no notice of me as she slowly dragged herself up from the gigantic hole the dragon had created and brushed her dress off. My neck hurt from looking up for so long, so I decided to look down. The dragon had fallen into the dry room of the large house and was working on dismembering a whole dried half of some unknown creature. As my gaze fell on her she turned her massive black scaled head and her piercing green cat-like eyes gazed into my blue ones.
Zavier
She spoke to me in my mind and I was aware of Victor beside me gaping at the dragon as she lay there looking up at us.
You summoned me
I nodded slowly and answered her in the same manner.
We needed you....Thank you
She rose to her feet and, discarding the dried meat, she rose on her hind legs and pulled her massive bulk from the basement onto the floor where she stood in a hunched mass of scales.
We will meet again, Zavier...at a time when you can truly understand. Know this though little one; I have always been with you; even from the beginning.
Her deep green gaze was once again boring into mine and I couldn’t help but shiver.
In the mean time, you can remember me as Sienna.
She stretched before heaving herself onto her hindquarters where she placed her front feet on the floor above us and a deafening crack sounded as her hind end disappeared, only her long, ebony tail visible through the huge dragon-sized hole. The floor shook and creaked, threatening to collapse at any moment. Sage scrambled across the broken boards and clambered back onto the dragon. The floor gave one final tremble then came crashing down on top of us, timbers flying and a horrible screaming noise as the metal braces protested.
Victor threw me onto Timmy’s bed and a protective barrier surrounded us. Timmy woke with a start but I hushed him quickly, allowing Victor to concentrate.
The house came down on top of us anyway, but the dragon was gone, her black scales and leathery wings visible in the sky above us between the fallen timbers. It seemed as if it would never stop, the floorboards and beams and braces kept coming as the shattered house collapsed into the weakest spot, its center. A large board came soaring towards us and we all flinched as it crashed into the swirling barrier and disintegrated into dust.
Timmy stifled a squeak, burying his head in my side. He was shaking and I put a hand around his tiny shoulders to comfort him.
Slowly it all came to a stop and at last we were able to hear one another again as the crashing died down. Dust swirled around us and Timmy finally released his hold.
“Zavier? Is it over?”He was quaking and I could hear his teeth chattering.
“Yes, Timmy, it’s over,” I replied softly.
Victor gave me a discouraging look then slid off the still white bed, save for the spots Victor and I had smeared grime onto it in our hasty retreat. I allowed Timmy to clamber on my back and use Valsephony’s strap for a sort of brace to keep him from slipping.
“What a wreck!”Victor sighed as he kicked aside a small board and slowly we circled the place in the floor where the dragon had created a large hole, now filled with shattered boards and logs.
Timmy had finally settled down by the time we had crossed what was left of the room and at last found ourselves in the warm afternoon light. We stood there for a moment, soaking it all in, knowing just how lucky we were to be alive. I was still mesmerized by the Dragon’s appearance and the fact that Sage had been around both puzzled and annoyed me.
“The unicorns,” Victor croaked. I nodded and decided to lead the small procession.
The rash on Victor was completely gone, save for a small red sore on his neck, but it paled in comparisons to the large oozing burn on his chest.
“Victor, we need to find you a healer and some clothes,” I stated firmly, dead serious this time. His negligence had almost killed him the last time. He shook his head and motioned for me to continue onward to where the back of the house used to be.
“We don’t need to worry about that right now, look what happened last time we found a healer.” I felt the urge to hurt Victor and I would have if he hadn’t been in such bad condition already. “How was I supposed to know this would all happen? At least you’re alive!” I snapped angrily.
We walked on in silence until we were greeted by happy nickering as we neared a small unicorn stable. I hurried forward across the charred lawn and threw open the black painted barn doors to find both unicorns stabled there.
I approached Shika and patted her nose. She pranced nervously in the stall; all the noise had frightened them.
Suddenly, as if I had just awoken from a nightmare, it occurred to me the lack of investigators.
“Victor... why are there no guards or people here, trying to figure out what happened?” I caught a small smile flash across his face as he tossed the soft saddle onto Xyle’s broad black back.
“There are. At least there are people trying to find this place. I put a dislocation spell on it as soon as I realized you’d summoned a dragon...” I prepared to answer the next question but it never came. Even if it had I would have been unable to answer it. I didn’t really know how I’d called Sienna.
With a yank I tightened the cinch and lifted Timmy up into the saddle. I threw myself up onto Shika’s rump and scooted forward, clutching the reins as I put one hand on either side of Timmy who was sitting up straight, his twisted arms attempting to guide his hands to the leather tie-ons so he could grab something. I took two leather ties and quickly laced them up both Timmy’s bony legs, preventing him from falling out. I passed him the ends.
“Just hold these, Timmy, if you need to get loose for some reason pull them and it will free your legs. Ok?” He took the leather from me hesitantly then nodded.
“Sure, Zavier...are you sure this is safe?” He had started shivering again and I patted his shoulder.
“It will be fine. Trust me.” He nodded in submission and I heard the sound of pounding hooves as Victor took off with a start through the charred and wood strewn yard.
“Let’s get out of here, Zavier. You can talk to Timmy on the way. The sooner we leave the better,” Victor called back.
I urged Shika to follow Victor’s stallion and we headed away from the scene of the disaster, grateful to be alive. Victor took us straight to the open gates which were now bustling. Obviously we had beat the message carrier to the gates for the keepers waved us on after a quick query of Victor’s health, oblivious to the dragon attack that had just happened.
“Was Esmeralda able to help you?”The guard asked, seeming much friendlier than before during our nightly appearance. I nodded quickly, itching to get out of this death trap.
“Yes, just a common magic flu, happens all the time, Sir. Thank you kindly for the escort, Sir.” I stated briskly. He nodded us on, urging us to leave the gateway free of loiterers. I felt Shika tense beneath me and we were off in a fast gallop, the unicorn’s hooves flying beneath them and the wind whipping against our thrashed bodies, back to our journey once again.



qqq




Alas, They are saved. We helped as much as we dared but it was the Wizard that saved them all. They now have the small one with them, his importance unknown to them. It will slow them down and my Hope flickers with doubt. Will there be enough time now?



qqq
Last edited by DakotaK on Wed Aug 10, 2011 9:03 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Sun Jun 26, 2011 2:50 pm
TylynRae says...



I forgot to comment on this one, I read all of them, so I think I'm just going to ponit out a few things I liked in each. The little bit about the mountain really caught my attention, it was really descriptive. And the intense scene with the witch in general was really nicely done. =]
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Sun Jul 31, 2011 3:39 pm
StellaThomas says...



Still Stella! As far as the formatting goes, I have no idea how to fix it, however, I would strongly advise doing it manually. It wouldn't take that long but it would just make things look and read so much better.

I. NITPICKS

I turned around and found the little boy had drifted off to sleep, his question unanswered.


Yet he hasn't thought of an answer anyway. Is he even considering the question?

A wide black sash was wrapped firmly around her head, her black hair cascading out from beneath it. She had on a tight corset and black dress that had a snake skin belt cinched tightly around her small waist. Black lace adorned the dress in a cobwebby fashion.


Really? It's just... she sounds like she's wearing a Halloween costume.

Wizards were not always men, it was the most powerful and varied magical position though. Witches were the next in ranking and many were indeed male. Witches magic always held healing properties and wasn’t as varied as a Wizards. Next in power was the Mage which was less than both the Witch and Wizard. Not all Wizards and Witches were rivals, only a few.


Well, this is nice. But why on earth are you telling us this titbit of information right when the tension is building?

II. OVERALL

This as a whole was pretty good- Victor gets his powers back, the dragon appears as important. However- what's the deal with Sage? She's with the dragon, and then she randomly vanishes and no one spares her a second thought. Why Sage and a unicorn? I'm really puzzled about that. Again, I'd like to see Zavier pay some attention to those around him who aren't Victor. I'm glad that Timmy is playing some part now, but I can't help but think of all the other characters we've left behind. But overall this was quite a strong one- remember what I said about fixing the formatting manually!

Hope I helped, drop me a note if you need anything!

-Stella x
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Mon Dec 05, 2011 11:39 am
Rydia says...



Line By Line

1. You've started the last three chapters with them either just waking up or just going to bed. It's maybe time for a little variation?

2. I don't like the break in the flow to switch to the Zavier/dragon's point of view. I feel it would be more dramatic to stay with Zavier and then to have the dragon to arrive in the action, whenever that is planned for. The switch of view point is just off-putting and breaks the flow of what was starting to be a really good scene.

3. I'd have liked a longer period of despair please, instead of a sudden escape. I feel sometimes that you don't let the emotions build or give us a wide enough range. Your characters go from being happy to angry or sad far too quickly.

The Dragon

I'm liking the idea of the dragon but not the way you executed her arrival. I felt that the whole Zavier going into the dragon's mind and then returning, before they even really had need of her was very forced and very disruptive to what was really a good scene. I'd have liked to see more of that magic battle so badly! Then there's the dragon adn there's Sage but she says nothing, just gets off the dragon and back on again. That was pretty lame. Why did she bother making the journey if it was to do nothing? I think you need to give her a small part at least.

Overall

There are parts I really like about this chapter and I think it could serve as a strong climax with some tidying up. I felt bad for the witch though. She seemed nice in her own way and the guards clearly respected her role as a healer, then Zavier comes along and wrecks her house. And what of the others who were in the beds? Weren't they all full? I haven't gone back to check but I'm sure you mentioned most of them were occupied or something?

In general, I'm liking the action and the characterisation of this chapter. I'm just not so sure about the Sage and dragon stuff. Oh and there was also the whole breaking through the floor to the basement where there was dried meat or something? That part seemed really random!

Heather xxx
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