Young Writers Society

He Died alone.

Deep in the Forest Of Silence, he lay in a puddle of his own blood. Here, among the petrified branches and still-watered streams, is where he died.

Alone.

Death didn't come hard for him, in fact, is was far too easy. The wound on his chest throbbed and a steady stream of maroon poured out onto the cold forest floor. But soon the pain faded, giving way to a dull numbness that overpowered him. There came a point when he simply stopped struggling, when even breathing seemed pointless.

He let go.

And he was gone.

Just like that.

It is true that he let himself die. He never screamed, nor did he fight. He simply stopped running, turned around, and yelped only slightly as the knife was plunged into his chest. So at last, he could have peace. At last, he could be free.

And so, at one hour before dusk, he died alone.


Author's Note: Yes, it's very short, but I assure you the next chapters are not. This is just the prologue.

This is very mysterious, and im curious how this person died. If you write more I'll definatly look at it. one thing though i felt as if you were repeating yourself on the line " he died " and "that how he died." take a look at that part, but otherwise I loved it even though it was just a prologue.

Sounds interesting i'm curious as to see how the rest plays out

Hey there! I'll be reviewing this today!
Everything I'll have to say/correct will be in red.

GoaGreena wrote:He Died alone.D shouldn't be capital.

Deep in the Forest Of Silence, he lay in a puddle of his own blood. Here, among the petrified branches and still-watered streams, is where he died.

Alone.

Death didn't come hard for him, in fact, is You mean, it was far too easy. The wound on his chest throbbed and a steady stream of maroon poured out onto the cold forest floor. But soon the pain faded, giving way to a dull numbness that overpowered him. There came a point when he simply stopped struggling, when even breathing seemed pointless.

He let go.

And he was gone.

Just like that.

It is true that he let himself die. He never screamed, nor did he fight. He simply stopped running, turned around, and yelped only slightly as the knife was plunged into his chest. So at last, he could have peace. At last, he could be free.

And so, at one You can say "an" instead of "one". It sounds better that way. hour before dusk, he died alone.


Author's Note: Yes, it's very short, but I assure you the next chapters are not. This is just the prologue.<- You could also put this in a spoiler.

Well, that's all I have to say. There isn't much to correct, so that's good! Your descriptions were very good, and the story was quite interesting, since you didn't give much of it out, nor did you hide much of the story. I would really like to read more!

Keep writing!
-Twisted.

Keep writing.