A wonderful continuation to a seemingly great story. Quite honestly, I don't have much to write about. It was well-written with those very few grammatical errors. I liked the beginning. The description you gave to the scenery. It gave me these cool pictures in my head that I love to see when I read something. When I can clearly see what you're trying to get across, that, to me, shows good signs of a great story. Must now wait patiently for next part. Keep writing, and may the Force be with you.
"Always believe in yourself. Do this, and no matter where you are, you will have nothing to fear." - Baron Humbert von Gikkingen JudyG <3
No, it's not that you didn't succeed. You accomplished a lot, but, if you want to touch people, don't concentrate so much on rhyme and metre. Think more about what you want to say instead of how you're saying it. — LCDR Geordi La Forge
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Points: 300
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