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Memories-Chapter Three



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Sun Aug 14, 2011 7:45 pm
WelcomingException says...



“Ah! Captain Alan Price” Daniel exclaimed as a tall, fit, blond haired man hobbled off a ship and towards Daniel. The Captain was put together neatly, his shoulder length blond hair tied back in a leather thong, and his face shaven so you could see the freckle’s that ran across his nose.

“I heard you were in town and had to invite you for dinner tomorrow” Captain Price smiled; they stood on the old creaking dock, and shook hands. A light fog hid the horizon, and all Daniel could think of was Violet. Had she woken up? Was she in the parlour reading? Or did she decide to go into the garden again?

“To be invited to the Duke of Dunmore’s home is a grand honour, and I will accept of course”

“Of course you will accept! You have done amazing things for our country; I am honoured just to have you in my home town” The two chatted and walked along the dock. If this was the man that Violet belonged to, it was time they were re-united. He had to get her out of the house before his passion ran wild.

“So Captain, any women in your life?” Daniel asked gingerly, he had to know if he would even acknowledge Violet. The captain seemed to walk a little slower.

“My betrothed died a couple weeks ago. She was sleep walking in the middle of a storm and fell overboard…” I pain spread across Daniels chest, Violet did belong to someone else. She would never be his.

“What was her name?” Daniel asked drily.

“Violet Umburn” Daniel nodded,

“You may stay with me for a few nights if you wish, come tomorrow around noon”

“Thank you, Mr. Decker”

@

Daniel came back around dinner. I was amazed at the silence during dinner, I sipped at my soup lightly, what could I say? Nothing came to mind, so I held my tongue and we finished supper in the silence it started with. I held Great Depressions up pretending to read, I popped my head over the edge of the book a couple times, staring him down.

He looked upset. Daniel had been starting at the fire for quite a while. His eyes fixated on the upper flames. I came up with a theory that he must be mad. When your eyes are on the coals, you’re usually calm and relaxed, tired even, keeping your eyes down. When you’re mad you look at the place moving the most, your head is up so you’re alert and focused on something.

“Are you alright Daniel?” Daniel’s eyes shot over to me. They seemed surprised by my voice. I felt myself sulk under his gaze. Something was different about him today. Did I do something wrong? I got up after a minute, dropping the book on the chair.

“I think I’ll go to bed…” I started to push myself out of the room. The room started to spin and grow hazy, and held my had reached out for the door, but I only ended up with nothingness. I felt Daniels protective arms wrap around me. I look at him woefully. The world still spun but I could tell he was walking, I tried to focus my view, was this the hallway to my room? I closed my eyes and heard the creak of the door to my room.

I felt a cloud surround me; I opened my eyes noticing He had laid me in my bed. I snuggled down in the soft blankets. He reached forward slowly undoing the buttons on my dress. I reached forward, holding the dress defensively against my body.

“Daniel…” He shook his head and pulled me close.

“I’m only getting you ready for bed, my dear, you need to rest” I was still feeling a bit faint. I relaxed knowing he meant no harm, he never had. He finished taking off my dress and then the under skirt, leaving me sitting there in my chemise. I felt naked in front of this man I only knew for a couple weeks, yet I made no movement to cover myself now. He came back over with a night gown, and pulled it over my head, then pulling the chemise down my body. His hands held the sides of my naked body as he pulled the chemise down, along the curve of my breast, down my torso until he reached my waist. Even though he was undressing me I felt complete secure. He never meant me harm, never would.

@

Violets softs curves beckoned Daniel in. She sighed lightly as his hands ran down her back pulling the chemise down with it. She was not his to take. Daniel had found her betrothed, but one night, one night couldn’t hurt.

He pulled in closely, their faces almost touching, her breath smelled sweet. She leaned in a bit as to cue Daniel. His mouth developed over hers, fully taking her in for the first time. Their lips would part slightly but Daniel would always come back more passionate then the first. He ran his hands up her waist and she arched her back a bit. Violet pulled away gazing at him with a slight grin and Daniel grinned back. He pulled in for one more kiss, before leaving her in the darkness of the bed room.

@

I woke up happily, Lisa was there again. I guessed Daniel would want to keep his distance after the moment last night. I sighed happily, and staggered out of bed; Lisa held me up and led me over to table. I ate slowly and then Lisa dressed me in an exquisite white embroidered dress.

“This is quite fancy, is it not?” I asked shyly. Lisa did my hair in a braid and pinned it up with a white ribbon.

“My lord asked for it, we have company Miss. Violet” I smiled in the mirror, company? This will be fun. The only people I had been talking to was Lisa, Daniel and Mrs. Hodge. Some company would be nice. I walked down the stairs and in the parlour, my whole body froze, my eyes burned, when I saw,



“Violet! You little chit!” I felt my feet pulling me away from the blond haired man… Alan Price… My betrothed… I pulled myself to the side of the boat. Alan ran after me grasping my sides tightly, I felt a burn through my body.

“Please! I did not mean harm Alan, Please!” He didn’t listen to me, he never had. He picked me up, throwing me over his shoulder. I struggled, but quickly gave up knowing I wouldn’t win, Alan dropped me at the bow. I hadn’t wanted to be seethe by him yet. I had slapped him and ran on to the deck.

“Allow me to take you now Violet” I did not understand why he couldn’t wait till our wedding… I wedding I did not want.

“No Alan, please wait!” I exclaimed. He was furious, he picked me up and held me over the side of the boat, I screamed with terror clinging to him for dear life.

“If I cannot have you now, nobody shall ever have you!” Then all I remember is falling…



“Alan?” I broke myself from the vision, my eyes filled with tears. He looked over at me and stared astonished.

“Violet!” Alan exclaimed he ran over to me and hugged me tightly, I felt my breath leave as a sharp pain entered, and his hug was fierce and tormenting.

“I thought you were dead? After you feel over board in your sleep” He hugged me tighter as to say that was the story he had told Daniel. I felt trapped as my memories flooded back. Alan was a bad man; I had to warn Daniel before anything else happened. Before I could never belong to Daniel, before I lost the man I loved forever.
What a Welcoming Exception *
  





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Mon Aug 15, 2011 4:26 pm
Boolovesyou says...



Hey WelcomingException!

freckle’s that ran across his nose

I don’t think you need an apstrophy in freckles.

I heard you were in town comma and had to invite you for dinner tomorrow


I will accept comma of course”


“Violet Umburn” Daniel nodded,

So I’m pretty sure this is Mr.Decker saying this. When you have Daniel nod its confusing.

Also a note on the first part. Just put more emotion into it. While writing a book you’re also developing characters through and emotions and scenes.

the room. The room

Its just a bad way to start a sentence how you finished the last.

I felt Daniels Daniel’s protective arms


Why did she almost pass out? That’s what I assume because there is no cause. Also just sounds like she is about to pass out? I could of missed something from the chapter before.

I A wedding I did not want.


Okay on to spelling mistake!

Was she in the parlour parlor reading?


is a grand honour honor, and I will accept of course”


I am honoured hornored just to have you in my home town


I walked down the stairs and in the parlourparlor


Thats all! Very nice chapter!

PM me or post on my wall if you have any questions!

-Boo
Milestiba uzvar visu, Milestiba ir upuris.
  





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Sun Aug 28, 2011 9:57 pm
Narnialover4ever1 says...



Some grammar problems but your doing great!! Keep up the good work :D
When he bares his teeth, winter meets its death
And when he shakes his mane, we shall have spring again'

'Look there she goes that girl is so peculiar. I wonder if she's feeling well.
With a dreamy far off look.
And her nose stuck in a book' Something my best friend, Drew, said about me
  








This is a house of homes, a sacred place, by human passion made divinely sweet.
— Alfred Joyce Kilmer