I want to say that I've added some French dialogue, I hope it's correct but if you know French and spot a mistake, please tell me. French is a language that sounds a lot like my native language, I trust the mistakes I probably made are not so terrible.
PS: The translation can be found at the end of the chapter.
PPS: If you ask me when's the next update, I can tell you that not within the following week, because university is starting for me, but I am certain that I will update faster than this time.
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THE RED ROSE
CHAPTER FOURTEEN: "The White Rose"
***
Rose
Rose
One week before the first of April I was already immersed in work, planning what was to be the greatest event in my life. I bought white silk, tulle and lace and kindly asked Annette to make me a wedding gown, so I would not have to pay a fortune on a new one. She submitted willingly to my request, saying that nothing would make her more pleased than helping me and for the last days, she had been busy taking measurements and adjusting the gown for me. I was grateful for her help, especially since she was not a trained seamstress. Still, she did all that was in her power to satisfy my needs and meet my expectances. Every day, we had to use the bedroom, much to William's complaint, who had to wait in the living room for hours, for I could not let him see the dress before the grand day.
"Oh, Rose dear, I've lived to see this happening!" Scarlet shouted from the opposite corner. Annette was behind me, stitching lace over the neckline and adjusting the last details of my dress. "Remember how many times you told me that I look dashing when you were arranging my hair at the opera? Finally, now's my turn to say it: you look beautiful… and in a different, new way."
"Thank you, Scarlet, but what do you mean by 'different' and 'new'? I am the same, am I not?"
"Of course, but… Well, for starters, there's something in your eyes. I can't tell exactly what, but you look radiant, full of vitality – changed. I guess that's why they say that those who love are so pretty. You must be loved, and happy – I can see it in your eyes."
"I am. Lord knows how much… after what I've been through, it feels like a dream, Scarlet, and if it is, I hope I will never have to wake up to reality. I see that you no longer think that this is happening too fast."
"I've been unsure at first, afraid that you might be too hasty and not think twice, as you did before… but now I see that there's no reason at all to think it over. This is the best thing that could happen to you. If it's changed you so much all of this time, I can't imagine how happy this marriage will make you from now on. Still, when's the big day? You haven't yet told me."
"Oh, silly me, I almost forgot! On the first day of the coming month – that's three days from now!" I said to myself, wondering at how fast time flies. "It's symbolic. March hasn't been a warm month, so April will be a new beginning for us, as the spring is an end to winter. I never wish to go through another winter ever again."
"I see. Well… It's getting late; as much as I'd like to stay, I have to leave you now. I'll come over tomorrow again."
"The dress is finished, my lady," Annette said as Scarlet stood up. "Does it please you, should I adjust anything else? Is it too tight, too loose?"
"No, Annette, it's perfect. Thank you. You may go now; and please see Scarlet out." The two of them left the room, and I turned to the mirror, examining the gown. My dress was simple, with a Juliet sleeve, and a full skirt. I took the veil and put it on my head. The headband that pinned the veil to my hair was made of small white roses, like the bouquet that I would carry in my hands.
As I stepped out of the wedding attire, I threw away the memories that had been haunting me up till that day. Last week was the first and the last time I had seen Mr. Howsham's figure. William's father was precisely how his son described it to me – grumpy, cold and unmoved by my attempts to be polite. I was glad that he didn't stay longer and left our place in quiet. Although it was plain as day that he disliked me profoundly, he didn't start a fight. We didn't receive any letter from him, and he didn't visit us again since then; he had forgotten about us… I imagined that he must've wished to put us out of his mind. William seemed to have forgotten as well. He never mentioned his father again, and expected the same from me.
The wedding day came quickly. The last hours before it passed like minutes, the minutes – like seconds. The weather was warm, as we'd anticipated, the sun shone brightly from up above, as if acknowledging our love. Despite its gothic, sumptuous architecture, St Cross Church had never made such a peaceful landscape as in that day when we walked to its aisle, surrounded by the divine sound of 'Ave Maria', sang by the chorus of children in perfect harmony.
The ceremony had been simple; the guests were few – no more than ten. It had been, for that matter, our wish to keep it as intimate and modest as we could. After having recited our vows, we exchanged the rings and the minister pronounced us as husband and wife. Afterwards, we signed the register. Scarlet and the other guests wished us best of luck and then we parted our ways.
Spoiler! :
The vows I had made still echoed in my head as William carried me in his arms over the threshold.
I, Rose Elinor Evans, take you, William Howsham, to be my husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish; from this day forward until death do us part.
Rose Elinor Howsham… how unfamiliar that sounded! And still, how suitable… Truth is, no matter what name, it would've still sounded suitable in the ears of such a woman in love that was.
When did time fly all of a sudden? A few weeks ago, I was still an Evans, and this seemed like a wonderful dream, one that was impossible and too beautiful to become true, and now I was already bearing the name of my husband, the one that our children would too. I believe my parents would've been proud of me that day, for once in my lifetime… because I had followed my heart.
Since I had lost my parents, I had secretly wished that I would once have a huge family, so that I would never feel alone. It had been a secret, a plan for the future that I had kept to myself, but now I was ready to share it with somebody. Those were the thoughts that occupied my mind then, as I watched the moon rise above out of the darkness from our small balcony.
"Are you not tired? Come to sleep," William's voice came from behind me. A gentle breeze blew against my face, making the light drapery dance against the wind.
"And miss our wedding night?" was my response, as I walked inside, closing the door behind me.
"We'll have plenty of time tomorrow… and the days after… especially the days after," he added in a low voice, and gestured me to sit on his lap. I pondered for a while, nestled in his arms. William was correct. What could a single night out of so many others mean right then? It was in times like these that I wished I had never experienced what I was meant to encounter on my wedding night for the first time.
"Is there anything you wish to say to me?" he asked me, seeing me lost into my thoughts. I knew William could probably not understand me, thus I told him that it was nothing important. "Then let me tell you, my dearest Rose, that tomorrow is another special day. Do you know what day is that?"
"Not at all. What do you have in mind?"
"That is a silly question. What else could come next? We are married, now we must leave for our honeymoon, of course."
"Must we?"
"No, but it would be most preferred. Do you… not want to?" he asked, surprised by my reluctance.
"I do… But, since you didn't mention it… I thought that you'd rather not leave. If you, by any chance, have to stay, then let's not go. Don't plan our honeymoon only because you know it'd make me happy. Even if we stay home, I'll still be happy with you. Either way, I'm fine with it. I don't want to keep you away from anything."
Apparently, I was wrong in my judgement, for my reason was followed by William's laugh. "What is it with this absurdity? You're not keeping me away from anything. We are married now, you should not doubt my honest desires of making you happy."
"Forgive me, but… But then… you must at least tell me where we are going."
"This… my dear, is a secret that I will not disclose until tomorrow." Having said that, he took out a beautiful gold necklace from my jewellery box.
"How did that end up there?"
"I put it while you were not looking. I thought I'd make you a surprise, but it turns out that I lack patience. I couldn't wait to see if it fits you."
"It does!" I said as he helped me put it around my neck, and then indicated me to open the pendant. Inside, I could see two letters carved in gold.
"'R' and 'W'… our initials! Just like on the inside of our rings! My, you really took care of any detail; you are a true perfectionist. Unfortunately, you married someone who could never meet your standards."
"You are perfect for me, and that is all that matters. Do you like it?"
"I do! It's beautiful, but… you are such a waster, William. You should save your money and not spend them all on me. Soon, we might have another one to look after." At this, William startled and I had to wonder if from joy or apprehension.
"What do you mean? Are you, by chance… with child?"
"No, but I would love to. Would you not, William?"
"I… I can't say. I haven't thought about it. I suppose I would." I watched his expression switching from confusion to slight delightfulness. I needn't worry any more. William would enjoy being a parent as much as I would. I simply took him by surprise; it was only natural that he didn't embrace this idea all of a sudden. "Well now that I think of it, it would be a miracle to have a little girl resembling her mother perfectly. Imagine how beautiful she would be if she looked like you, with golden curls and white skin."
"A girl? But I want a boy to look like his father."
"He would not be as beautiful if he looked like me."
"What are you saying? You are the most handsome man I know!" I said, pretending to be hurt by his underestimation. "Well, in the end, we will have many children anyway, and it doesn't matter what comes first. I want a big family, William, the one that I never had."
"My dear, your wish has a simple answer, if you still think me handsome."
"Handsomely tired," I said, engaging myself in the unconscious activity of playing with his tousled hair.
"It's been a tiring day. Memorable, nevertheless." I smiled at William's sleepy voice. Noticing his weary eyes, I remained on top of him, taking it upon myself to love him that night. I wished to give him the same pleasure and same love that he had offered me many times before.
"Indeed. And I happen to know the perfect ending to it." Showing no opposition at all, he complied with me taking the initiative. Knees bent along the side of his thighs, hands pulling him closer, I settled in a tight embrace and stayed in that position, showering him with affection and kisses until our limbs went numb and I had to remove my weight from him.
"We are… aren't we? Made for each other, I mean…" I traced the outline of his features with my hands idly, measuring them and comparing them to mine. The idea of how thoroughly we fit together struck me once again, bringing a shy smile upon my lips.
"What are you thinking?"
"That if your nose was longer, or wider, I would have an awfully hard time kissing you. I am just musing over the thought of us matching perfectly. Rather silly, what do you say?"
"I'd say that it is rather lovely than silly."
Right then, while we were spread out on the sheets, lying front, the moonlight drenched our bodies in its glow, and it made it seem that we were more than man and woman that night; we were two worlds colliding, that could not exist one without the other.
"William, where would I be now… if I hadn't met you? Blessed be the moment you came into my life." We drifted off to sleep, this being the last thing I said. William, however, did not hear me when I whispered these last words. He was already asleep and soon, so was I.
William
Those past days had kept me occupied; today was no exception. Rose was still deep in slumber when I rose up and gave strict orders to Annette to pack our belongings in a hurry. Our trunk had to be ready before noon, so that we would as well have time for ourselves to prepare.
I was writing a letter to Henry to inform him about my absence when I heard the rustle of the satin fabric as my wife moved in the sheets. I allowed my gaze to settle upon the sight of her for a few seconds, and then jumped from my seat. "Ah, finally, you've woken up! Rise, my lovely nymph, we must leave today… as you might or might not recall, today begins our holiday."
"I do… But it is so early, William. I've just opened my eyes, give me some time."
"Time you want, time you shall have. I'm going to send this letter, I hope to find you all dressed up when I come back."
"You're leaving?"
"Well, yes, I have to let Henry know that I will be away." As I stood up, putting on my redingote, I noticed Rose snuggling in the sheets, knees bent to her chest. Although apparently insignificant, the fact that I had to depart, even for a short time, upset her. I had been ignorant to her feelings in that morning, and I realised that all she'd wished that morning was for me to be by her side when she'd open her eyes.
I approached her with concern – the kind of consideration of a sculptor that dares not touch his creation, afraid that he might break it to pieces. "How come you've just succeeded in making me feel miserable? You're saying it as if I would abandon you, when I've just bound myself to you forever."
"I know… it's just that… When I said I wanted some time, I didn't mean by myself."
"We will have all the time in the world when we arrive at –"
"At…?" Her eyes widened, and curiosity replaced her previous feelings.
"At our destination. I'll never leave your side again, and we'll do everything together, I give you my word." With these words, I drew her porcelain-white arm out from the sheets and placed a kiss on it. "You must forgive me now," I said, waiting for her verdict.
"Fine. You have my forgiveness. But now you must tell me where are we going. You said you'd tell me in the morning, and morning has come."
"Not yet. I said I'd tell you today, and 'today' has not ended yet. I will show you when I get back. Wait for me in the study room."
True to my word, I returned home in less than one hour. The answer Rose was expecting, or not really the true answer, but what I decided to reveal, was in the room in which I asked her to await me, on a map that I had taken out from a bookcase.
Spoiler! :
"Yorkshire, Sheffield!" I said, showing her the region on the map. This was, most probably, one of the most uninteresting places where one could choose to take his newlywed bride for their honeymoon. I wished to see Rose's reaction but, contrary to what I had thought, she showed no disappointment at all. "What do you think?"
"I've never been in Yorkshire. I heard Sheffield has wonderful landscapes. William, I think it's a great place to spend our honeymoon in."
"For real? You agree with my suggestion…? I feared that my choice was somehow provincial… Wouldn't you enjoy something, let's say, more exotic?"
"There are too many places in our country that I've never seen; you could take me anywhere, and I'd still be thrilled. Besides, I don't care where we're going as long as I'm with you."
"Still, I hoped to hear some ideas coming from you… I could take you anywhere you want, there must be some place you wish to see…"
"Nothing in particular. It's getting late; shouldn't we go?"
"I suppose so."
The trunk being ready, we've summoned a coach that rode us to the railway station, time in which I had to plan my surprise scheme carefully. Rose did not yet know where we were going. Although at first I had intended to keep it a secret for as long as possible, I was starting to have second thoughts. I had to let her know as soon as I could.
As soon as we got off, I stopped for a moment. Rose faced me with confusion, urging me to hurry. "Why have we paused? There's no time… We will lose the train."
"Rose dear, tell me, what time is it – precisely?"
Looking at her pocket watch, she gave me the answer. "Half past noon. Why? Is it late?"
"I'm afraid it is. The train has just left," I lied, carrying out my plan with confidence.
"Oh no! This is bad luck, what should we do now?"
"We could take the next one that leads to Portsmouth. Why don't we go there instead, shall we?"
Rose refused my proposal right from the start. "No, no way, maybe it's still there, let's run and see." By the time she finished these words, she was already two feet before me, desperately running forward, hoping to catch a glance of the train that we were never supposed to get in.
"Rose," I shouted to her, grasping her from behind. "Rose," I continued in a low voice, "listen to me! We're not supposed to arrive in Sheffield. I'm taking you to Le Havre, in France. We'll take the train to Portsmouth, and cross the English Channel with a ship."
"I…" was all I could hear. Rose stopped to think for a moment, and I was afraid that I made a mistake. "William, you've caught me unawares. I don't know what to say. I've never been on a ship before, what if I have sea sickness and I don't know?"
"You'll be with me, and I won't let anything happen to you. It won't take long; we'll be in France in a few hours. Meanwhile, we'll watch the sea as the sun goes down from our ship. I promised I'd show you the sea one day; did you think I'd break my word?" I studied her reaction carefully. At first, she frowned, but then the frown disappeared and soon it was replaced by a smile. Only then I had the courage to ask her again, "What do you say?"
"I say, let's go! All aboard!"
"Or en voiture, as Frenchmen would say. Come, we have to go now! The train should have arrived already."
"Say, William, can you speak French?" Rose asked me as we both searched for our seats.
"I should like to believe so. To the extent that one's education requires, of course – that is, quite decently. Why do you ask?" Upon finding our seats, I gestured her to sit down and we both took a seat.
"I have a plan," she whispered in my ear. "Let's pretend that we're from France, have come to visit Oxford, and now we're returning to our country."
"Why should we do that?" I asked, surprised by her rather frivolous proposal.
"I don't know," she answered, mischievously. "Because it will be fun. I've always dreamed of being born a noble woman in France when I was little – a silly dream, I admit. Did you never wish you were somebody else, somewhere else, William?"
"Not as far as I remember. I suppose I did, maybe some time ago. Give me a man who's never had this wish! Though, why would you want to be somebody else now, when you have me?"
"A little diversity would do no wrong!" I snickered at hearing this, not quite distracted by the idea. I realised, however, that my reaction was unreasonable. It must've been that, deep inside my mind, I could not forget about her past and ignore it completely. Rose, on the other hand, only wished to amuse herself, and meant no harm. "William, I'm afraid you've lost your sense of humour. You surprise me! Taking it so seriously… What are we going to do now? I can't be silly in your presence anymore. Well, never mind," she continued to speak, this time louder, "Je m'ennuie. Quand verrons-nous arriver, Guillaume?"
"Très prochainement, ma chère." Then, approaching her and in a soft voice, I added with a grimace, "Guillaume? What kind of name is this? You could've as well give me another name, such as Léon or André!"
"Well would you rather be called Gaston – the only name that came to my mind then?"
"Fine… fine…. I'll pay you back!" And while adopting a determined attitude, I spoke to my wife again, giving her the least suitable name I could think of, "Bernadette chèrie, pourriez-vous s'il vous plaît aller plus loin? Vous êtes froissant mon manteau."
"Oh! Ma très chère est bouleversé! Excusez-moi. Je vais raconter notre femme de chambre pour la nettoyer quand nous arrivons à Basençon."
And so, with our little charade, in less than ten minutes we managed to earn everybody's attention. An old man with grey hair, a white beard and sideburns was following our conversation word by word, measuring us from head to toe. A woman that sat in front of him was making a witty remark to the one that stood next to her, saying that we made a perfect match. Others made some statements referring to Rose's dress, considering that we would not understand their language, while some found our presence too loud and debordant.
"Pardonnez-moi, mademoiselle," the old gentleman interfered in our conversation, "que vous vouliez dire Besançon?"
Rose, at first taken aback, continued her to play her role remarkably. "Oui, oui, bien sûr. Quelle erreur! Je suis un Parisien, je ne suis pas très familier avec la Franche-Comté."
"Pas de problème du tout. Alors, êtes-vous deux va Besançon? Moi aussi."
"Oh, quelle coincidence! Excusez-moi, monsieur; il est un peu trop chaud ici. Guillaume, je pense que j'ai besoin d'une bouffée d'air frais. Pourrions-nous aller à l'autre compartiment?"
I, of course, approved. As we entered the following compartment, we could not help but laugh. It was one of the few moments in our life when we allowed ourselves to be absurd, and not follow any rules that our society required. We spoke loudly, acted inappropriately – we were a memorable pair of newlyweds!
I understood then what was that Rose wanted – to feel the freedom, to break the rules. We were not in London or Oxford anymore. Nobody knew us. We could do whatever we wanted and forget about anything we had left behind.
Three hours later, we embarked on the ship. I watched the sun set, holding her close to me, as happened the day I asked for her hand in marriage. Not much had changed since then. She was the same woman I had met, sometimes overly childish, at times too bold. What changed between us was our love and it has, over time, developed into a strong bond, one that I promise I would keep alive.
Soon, the weather changed drastically, the wind began to blow, and the people around us retired inside of the ship. "My dearest Rose," I whispered as soon as we were alone, "I love you too much."
"I'm glad."
"Glad, even if it consumes me? What a strange kind of wife you are, taking pleasure in torturing me!"
"But nothing bad can come from loving somebody, am I not right? And if it destroys you, it pulls me down with you, too."
"Now, let's not talk about that."
"Then, tell me about France. What is there to see in Le Havre? How are the French people?"
"My dear, I wouldn't know. I've never been to France either; I know nothing more than you do."
"Then tell me anything… how do you imagine it… Or anything – anything at all. I want to hear your voice, so that I know I'm not dreaming." With a sudden gesture, she snuggled closer in my arms. I instinctively covered her with my cloak and, for the following hours, I recounted her every unimportant, dull thing that crossed my mind, indulging myself in kissing her forehead, eyes, and lips anytime she trembled from the chilly wind.
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Translation of the dialogue in French:
"Je m'ennuie. Quand verrons-nous arriver, Guillaume?" - I am bored. When will we arrive, William? (Guillaume being the French version of the name)
"Très prochainement, ma chère." - Very soon, my dear.
"Bernadette chèrie, pourriez-vous s'il vous plaît aller plus loin? Vous êtes froissant mon manteau." - Bernadette dear, could you move away a little? You are crumpling my coat.
"Oh! Ma très chère est bouleversé! Excusez-moi. Je vais raconter notre femme de chambre pour la nettoyer quand nous arrivons à Basençon." - Oh, my dearest is upset! Excuse me. I will put our maid to clean it when we arrive in Basençon. (which is not the correct name of the city)
"Pardonnez-moi, mademoiselle, que vous vouliez dire Besançon?" - Pardon me, madame, did you mean to say Besançon?
"Oui, oui, bien sûr. Quelle erreur! Je suis un Parisien, je ne suis pas très familier avec la Franche-Comté." - Yes, yes, of course! What a mistake! I am a Parisian, I am not very familiar with Franche-Comté. (a region where the city is located)
"Pas de problème du tout. Alors, êtes-vous deux va Besançon? Moi aussi. - No problem at all. So, are you two going to Besançon? Me too.
"Oh, quelle coincidence! Excusez-moi, monsieur; il est un peu trop chaud ici. Guillaume, je pense que j'ai besoin d'une bouffée d'air frais. Pourrions-nous aller à l'autre compartiment?" - Oh, what a coincidence! Excuse me, mister; it is a little too warm in here. William, I think I need a breath of fresh air. Could we go to another compartment?
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