Entry X – February 27th 1949
“Oh Gretal, you’re home!”
Hannah’s rich, mellow-toned voice echoed through the shack, tingling the walls.
I had barely walked through the door when my sister had clutched hold of my arm and dragged me hurriedly to the mattress, where Nikola was sat, studying a scrap of paper. I briefly scanned the room. Michaela was slouched against the wall opposite, her head locked downwards, her eyes narrowed, squinting, as she sewed in the dim light.
My eyes found Nikola again. She smiled up at me, beckoning me over.
“What’s going on?”
“Look!” Hannah grinned, her cheeks flushed.
Nikola extended the torn sheet, waving it to indicate that I should take it. I snatched it from her fingers. My eyes were immediately drawn to the German scrawled in blotchy black ink. I rolled the words around on my tongue; those of a language so blessedly familiar, yet so estranged.
Miss Hannah, it read, report to the soldiers barracks, the outer building, at 7 AM tomorrow morning. You are to be placed in the permanent position of house-servant.
I felt my heart sink. Immediately, a wave of doubt washed over me. House-servant? My cynicism must’ve shown on my face.
“Don’t worry,” Hannah hasted to assure me. “They want me to clean their bunks. How wonderful! I’ll get to stay in the warmth all day!”
I sighed inwardly, choosing my next words very carefully.
“But how do you know that’s all they want?”
“You’re such a pessimist, Gretal!”
Hannah’s face turned a ripe shade of pink, and her hands were sticky with sweat. She hadn’t answered my question. I
understood why my sister would be ideal for the position. She was neat and clean and meticulously tidy. However, I could smell a rat.
I narrowed my eyes. “How did you get the job, Hannah?”
“It’s...well...complicated...” her face took on a deeper shade of scarlet. “Oh Grets: promise me you won’t be mad?”
I stared at her indignantly. I would make no promises, especially when it came to my temper.
Hannah took a breath and rung her hands.
“An officer, Gretal...He’s got a fancy for me.” She dimpled prettily; flirtatiously. “I asked him for such a position if available, and he made it happen.”
I was disgusted. A fancy...
Although Hannah was older than I, she was naive in so many ways. She’d always had difficulty controlling her emotions, especially those pertaining to love; to matters of the heart.
I could just imagine her in the presence of the officer, bending over a little further, revealing the arch of her breasts: pert, the colour of alabaster. She would’ve pouted her lips and widened her pretty eyes as those of a doe. Suddenly, jealously crept up, sending a shiver rippling through my body. I clawed it away.
“And what did he want in return?” I asked her, even though I realised perfectly well what he wanted from my sister. She was admittedly beautiful and flaunted her assets. A knowing must’ve shown on my face. Hannah cocked her head to one side and cast her eyes downward.
“It’s only one night, Gretal. It’s my decision who shares my bed. And it’ll keep him sweet, besides.”
“My God, Hannah,” I snapped, “our lives are not our own anymore! You’re a slave. He’ll take you now and next week and bloody whenever he wants!”
For a moment her face fell, and then screwed into a scowl. “I’m a grown woman, Gretal; I can do whatever I please.”
She’s in absolute denial. There’s no point reasoning with her.
I held up my hands and turned my back. She huffed; twirled on her heel.
“I’m going for some air,” she muttered.
The front door slammed behind her.
I heard the rustle of blankets as Nikola rose from the mattress. She placed a cool hand on my back, whispered in a hoarse voice, “I didn’t realise. I’m sorry.”
I shrugged her off, and opened the front door, shutting it quietly behind me. I needed to let off steam.
As I padded away, Michaela’s hushed chuckles drifted out of the shack, softly hitting the air.
*
I sauntered over to Justus’s shack, kicking up sodden clumps of earth as I ran. My determination was as steel: I was not prepared to take no for an answer, not this time. I thudded my fist on the door, shivering in the cold night air. The moon was a slither in the cobalt sky, neat and frosty.
I poised my knuckles to knock again when the front door creaked shyly open. Half of Petrus’s face was lit up from the dim glow of a cigarette lighter. He looked tired, weary eyed, but just as handsome.
I was somewhat taken aback by his presence.
‘Gretal?’ he sounded exhausted.
‘I...I...is Justus there?’ I blurted out. ‘I really need to see him.’
Petrus paused, rubbing his eyes. His cheeks were charmingly ruddy. “Listen, Gretal,” he sighed, ‘not right now; our-’
‘No!’ I interrupted, my blood curdling. ‘No excuses! I need to speak to him now! I demand to know why he’s avoiding me and where the hell we're taken after we’re finished with here!’
‘Gretal,’ he whispered, his voice gentle yet firm. ‘Our Grandmother’s just died.’
His words sunk into my flesh as the stab of a needle. I felt a pang of wretched guilt in my stomach. I wanted desperately for the ground to swallow me up there and then.
Grandma Kaufmann was a quiet old lady; reserved, but always with a slight smile curving about her frail, shrivelled lips. She did menial tasks, but was otherwise too old to be of any real use. Justus and Petrus had later confided in me the truth about their upbringing: they had been raised by their grandparents from birth. Only then did I understand just how close the twins were to their Grandmother Adelize; how much of a dreadful loss they were experiencing at that time.
Petrus must’ve sensed my embarrassment, and managed a brief smile. ‘She died naturally – as naturally as can be expected in this place – with her family beside her. She is at peace, finally.’
I nodded. My cheeks were on fire. I felt sick.
‘My brother is very upset,’ he continued, ‘but I’ll pass on your message, if you like.’
I swallowed hard. ‘No. It’s not important. It doesn’t matter. I’m so, so sorry.’ I backed away, my voice faltering. I turned on my heel and walked away. My back was hot and sweaty and my skin was prickled with goose bumps.
I offered a slight wave as I reached the entrance to our shack, and closed the door quietly behind me.
I had never felt so ashamed in all my life.
That will cause a lot of great drama. The only thing I'd change about it is the ending.
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