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THUD THUD THUD.
Where is she? thought the bony man in the trenchcoat as he sloshed across the muddy alley,his exfoliating leather boots clanking against the concrete. Wait - it was right in front of him: 1392 Garrison Lane.
He checked his holster to see if his revolver was still there.
It was.
He withdrew it from his holster and cocked it as silently as possible.
Rap-rap-rap the mysterious man pounded at the door with his bony, raspy hands.
The door creaked open, he tightened his grip on the revolver and...BANG!
"AAAAH!" A woman's voice yelled and the sound of a head dropping to the ground echoed throughout the dark and stormy night.
i try to fix what i can but the story is on a pre-typed draft,alsoi try to flesh things out however you are right when i read it it feels a little to fast but anyway thanks for the reviewThisBookBelongsTo wrote:Hey So, I want to begin by expressing that I think your plot concept is a good one - full of potential! Your writing style moves the story along fairly quickly, so if you intend this to be a full-length novel then you may want to consider fleshing it out a little, but that's just a thought. Overall, it's very good and you've certainly got me, as the reader, asking questions already, so it's definitely a strong start- who is he, who did he shoot, why, what will happen now? Very intruiging! I do want to mention the small matter of punctuation, which I notice is a bit inaccurate, but it's nothing that a quick spell-check can't solve in a blink. To close off, your work is very enjoyable, and aside from the afore mentioned ticks, you're a powerful and compelling writer- keep it coming, please!
the sound of ahead dropping to the ground echoed throughout the dark and stormy night.
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