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sorry I am leaving the site due to study issues ( aka no tim



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Sat Sep 17, 2011 6:51 am
AlextotheAndra says...



sorry I am leaving the site due to study issues ( aka no time to write) and I dont want to leave work up unfinished :)
Last edited by AlextotheAndra on Wed Dec 14, 2011 1:31 am, edited 1 time in total.
“Everything you look at can become a fairy tale and you can get a story from everything you touch.” Hans Christian Andresen
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Thu Sep 22, 2011 3:18 am
tgirly says...



LOL, love the little note at the bottom for us Americans! Your piece had humor and the start of conflict (love triangle!) And you definitely got into character. You put a lot of voice into your writing. Can't wait to read the next chapter!
-tgirly
When I was young, I admired clever people. Now that I am old, I admire kind people.
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Thu Sep 22, 2011 11:10 pm
CER1553 says...



I loved it! I think the way it is in written is perfect to get across the ideas you wanted too, and i'm very interested in the love triangle that began to form. I noticed multiple spelling errors scattered across the piece (mostly typos i assume, but i thought it was worth a mention) but other than that it was very good!
"So, this is my life. And I want you to know that I am both happy and sad and I'm still trying to figure out how that could be."
  





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Sat Sep 24, 2011 2:39 pm
theotherone says...



Hello there. :)

It's me again, so you should know how I do my reviews. ;)
The other, North St High was government run and although successful in music, the majority of the student populous was disinterested in study and lived for the parties known to run amok in the town.

Finding that he had somehow managed to walk himself into the middle of a group of rather popular girls, he politely excused himself and made a move to walk away.

Shooting them a glare with his usually soft brown eyes, that had now turned hard in frustration comma, the girls shrunk back and allowed him to follow after the bob.

she snatched them from his arm and thus began a five minute war of words.

In his mind, Lil would always be the feisty young girl who waltzed on over to him on the first day of school and informed him that if he comma, Oscar Anders, did not come and push her on the swings comma, ( for he had such long arms) she would burst into tears and tell their teacher that he had punched her and tried to take her cookie. He remembered the way her hair used to be in pig tails and when at age eight comma, she came up to him declaring that they were to always be best friends and so, if ever they were in a game of kiss-chasey, they must always make some excuse as top why they cannot tag each other.

Finding it, he leant back a little in the brittle plastic chair comma, subconsciously enjoying a rush of adrenaline that was far too weak to interrupt his conscious mind.

When the teacher finally dismissed them, he was quick to dart out of the door comma, avoiding her cold glance in his direction. Opening his locker with a spin of the numbered dial, he looked over to the timetable glue-tacked onto the door. Reading Room s1, Mr Telling, Biology comma, he groaned.

It's pretty much the same comments as the last chapter... Comma's and structures. But apart from that, your story is coming along nicely and I really enjoyed to read this chapter. :)

Keep writing!

-Other One
Behind every mask, lies a man that can't live in his own skin. - Woe is Me <3
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That there's some good in this world, Mr Frodo - and it's worth fighting for.
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