I sat there under the stars, my camera. The cool breeze blew my hair forward. Fireworks went off over head and I took a picture. Inside a battle was taking place, it almost made me cry. What should I do? How could I face him? I can't tell him.
That’s it I won't tell him and everything will go on just fine! Until you my conscience screamed. I knew it would be easier to tell him so he could do the same thing Callen did. But I liked him too much, I realized I’d broken my own rule I had gotten to close.
I thought of Callen, pain shot straight through me. The last guy I had kissed and said I love you to. He broke my heart into a million tiny pieces. And the tears finally came. How could one person take so much pain?
James made my tears go away. He was the ray of sun shine that came through the dark clouds of thoughts.
"Adara?" I looked up and saw James standing over me.
"What’s wrong?" complete and utterly obvious worry for me settled over his features.
“Nothing just missed a really good shot. " I lied, lying to him hurt.
"Oh.” he said sighing as his features settled back to normal.
I moved closer to him, sat there in silence. My head on his chest, his chin on top of my head and smoothed my hair. Fireworks went off overhead; I straightened up and moved to his side. He put his arm around me, and we stayed just like that. My conscience was yelling, it wanted me to tell him the truth.
Later that night as I walked up the stairs I cursed myself for lying to James. James Laken. The guy who just a few short months ago was Cal’s Best friend, and the guy who was quiet and tried to warn me about how Cal was. Since then he’d been her shoulder to cry on, the only friend in a world that seemed to hate her.
Then came the day of their first kiss, we were in the park after Track practice. Everything was so pretty and green, the sky was cloudless I had been swinging and he was pushing me. Then when I started to go high enough to touch the top of the oak tree he pulled me to a stop and an intense moment passed with us staring into each other’s eyes and then he leaned forward and kissed me. He pulled me up into a standing position and I slipped my arms around his neck. That kiss was gentle sweet and caring. Everything that James was.
You love him, the thought struck me. I had let myself get that close? I went into my room and lay down in my bed. Sleep found me easily, and hours later it was time to start the day.
*Adara*
I had had just finished my makeup when James pulled up. He politely rang the doorbell and as she opened the front door she scolded him saying he was practically her son and that he didn’t have to knock, he was to announce his presence. I walked down the stair case holding on to the rail, my heart pounded despite the fact that it was weakening. I could hear James’ deep laugh coming from the kitchen.
When I walked in she had him sitting down at the table, while she was standing at the stove cooking her made from scratch spaghetti, my mother was a short woman around 5ft 6” her brown hair was graying and she wore a flowery apron on top of her worn long blue dress .
When James saw me he smiled, and rose. Gentlemanly I thought with a smile. James’ dark brown bangs were hanging in front of his bright soulful green eyes; he looked like a wall being 6ft 6” with broad shoulders and his stocky build. But he was gentle and sweet, nothing like his appearance implied.
“Ad I think you’re mother believes that we’re going to get married.” He said with a grin.
“Well…..” I blushed a little bit.
“You two have been in love since first sight. You may not admit it but a mother knows.” James laughed, and I blushed bright red.
“Well you were Callens girlfriend so it’s not like I could act on my feelings.” I looked at him; I couldn’t believe he was saying this in front of my mom.
I wanted to tell him I had felt a spark of something when Callen first introduced us, but I didn’t know what. He must have been reading my expression because I could tell he knew exactly what I was thinking. He smiled and pulled me in for a kiss. This kiss melted all my worries about him leaving, and I forgot my mom was in the room.
She broke our moment, “If that’s what you two do in front of me it makes me wonder what you do alone.” James laughed under his breath and kissed my forehead.
The timer on the stove went off, that snapped my attention to the old stove, beeping weakly and the pasta sitting on top of it with steam flowing like a volcano out the top. James pulled out my chair and stayed standing until I sat, then he pulled out my mom’s chair. She smiled like she was a princess. She really liked James and had always preferred him over Callen.
We ate in silence; my mom was the first to speak.
“James” She inquired.
“Ma’am?” He said with his accent flaring up in his voice.
“What colleges have you applied to?” She asked trying not to let it be complete silence.
“Harvard, Yale, and Colorado Springs University, to name a few and if none of those work out Windom College.”
My mom smiled like a 5 year old on Christmas day. “ High aspirations!”
She smiled wider then turned to me and told me “Add you’ve got a good boy now don’t you be letting him slip through your fingers.”
“Mom…” I groaned. James laughed at my reaction, and I glared at him.
He smiled largely showing off the spaghetti stuck in his teeth now it was my turn to laugh. My mom started laughing and James just smiled more. And for one blissful absolutely perfect moment I was in love had great friends and family and there was no cancer or Callen. I forgot about everything and it was just there’s not really any other way to describe it except beautifully perfect.
I lifted the fork halfway to my mouth before I lost all feeling in my arms and then the real pain set in. The pain pulsed through my chest completely cutting off my air flow. My face turned a gaunt sickly white my green eyes turned lighter and looked almost as if there was no color in them at all. My mother turned hysterical and James just sat there looking at me. The pain was horrible intense screaming pain, and suddenly nothing.
*James*
I looked at her my eyes filled with worry,my mind went numb.
“What happened?” That’s when she fainted. I screamed her name as she fell out of the chair. She hit the floor with a sickening thud. Blood started to run onto the floor. I ran to the phone.
“911 what is your emergency?”
“Yes! My girlfriend she fainted and her heads broken open!!!” My hands trembled, tears start to free fall from my face.
The full force of what was happening hit me.
“It’s ok I sent an ambulance, now what’s your name?” she asked me.
“Are you serious!?! She’s dying and you’re asking me my name?!?!” I laughed incredulously.
“James please just calm down.” I just broke down and cried.
*Adara*
I spiraled downward the blackness seeping in taking all the color of the world away. Everything changed, my life had come forth and just like that it was gone. I felt nothing heard nothing and saw nothing and that feeling was terrible. It was everything mankind feared death would be at least once in their lives. Then the hazy world shocked through my eyes. I saw James, kneeling on the floor in front of me his face wrought with agony and pure fear. No one is ever be the same after they see raw fear. It changes you.
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