Spoiler! :
I’d only been to Leigh’s house for family parties, holidays, and things like that. It was always clean and tidy. Everything shined with wealth and had a perfect spot in the house. But when I did end up coming inside the house after my little episode, it wasn’t the flawless house I was used to stepping into. Instead, there were clothes everywhere, boxes too. The marble floor had some coffee spills and the Cinderella staircase was covered in rugs that were in the middle of being dusted.
“And you already know the kitchen,” Leigh said cheerily as we walked into an enormous room. The ceilings were high and a crystal chandler hung in a glorious manner. But like the rest of the house, the kitchen was a mess. There were bowels and random sprinkles of baking powder everywhere. A cracked egg was spilled on the counter and I could see dirty handprints all along the cabinet doors. Also, the huge window towards the back that was usually shining and open was smudged and spattered in rain drops and Travis was cooking something that smelled like it was burning.
“Travis what are you doing?” Leigh asked skeptically.
“I was just making Sage a nice welcome breakfast. It’s coming along pretty good if I do say so myself.” He looked sincerely proud, but the smell coming from the pan was telling a different story. For some odd reason, Leigh just giggled. I looked at her. Her face had an expression I couldn’t explain. It was peaceful yet worried, annoyed yet affectionate, a look I had never seen.
“Alright Travis, just for today,” she said wistfully. “Come on Sage, I’ll take you around the rest of the house so can get settled.”
I followed Leigh out into the entry room again and we headed down a short array of stairs that opened up into the gorgeous living room. Like the kitchen, the ceiling was raised higher. The white carpet I was used to seeing was covered in stains and dust. I guess they only use the living room when family was over, I thought. We walked right through the living room and down a back hallway.
“You may not have seen this part of the house, but right down this hallway is the laundry room. Lucky you, your room is right above this one so you have a laundry chute in your room that empties right down here,” she said with too much enthusiasm for such a simple fixture.
“Thanks,” I said weakly when she waited for a response.
“Cool, now let’s go upstairs and I’ll show you my room.” She led the way out. But before I left the small hallway, I noticed a door towards the end. It had a small window that, as far as I could see, let out into a backyard.
I followed Leigh up the Cinderella staircase, looking down at points that made feel dizzy. The top floor hallway was large and open and covered in the white carpet that was also down stairs. She led me to a magnificently white double door that opened into a room that looked as big as the living room. The overwhelming smell of artificial raspberry invaded my nostrils making me cough a bit.
“This is the master bedroom where Travis and I are sleeping now,” she said happily. I could barely see from the absence of windows, but as my eyes adjusted I could make out some features. There were boxes tossed about the room and a door opened to a half-empty closet. I had almost forgotten that Travis had probably just moved in to Leigh’s house a couple days before the wedding.
The master bedroom was spectacular. Almost everything was white and the bed was raised on something that looked like a petal stool with stairs. Transparent netting hung down over the circular bed as well. It was definitely a newlywed’s room.
“Now right across the hall here is where you’ll be staying.” She walked out of the bedroom in a rush. A few steps down the hall and on the left was a misfit door. It was a homely mahogany wood and had post-it notes covering almost the entire door. All the post-it notes had my name and the day’s date written all over them. Leigh looked back at me and gave a pitiful laugh. “Ignore those. They were for the house keeper.”
I shrugged it off and Leigh reached deep into her pocket and pulled out a silver key. She pushed it into the lock and the strange door swung open. Just as it did another burst of artificial raspberry tickled my nose and even choked Leigh a little.
“Now this will be . . . your room while you’re here, Sage . . .” she said through incessant coughs. I braved through the smell and stepped into my new room. It was more than I could have dreamed of.
It wasn’t big like Leigh’s bedroom, gleaming in white and shrouded in darkness from a lack of windows. It was almost the complete opposite. On the side of the room where the door opened into was a bed with sheets that matched my eyes, a plain olive green. The pillows were flat and there was no comforter, but the bed was wide and took up almost the entire wall. On the opposite side was a wall fully made of glass windows and a sliding glass door leading out onto a short balcony on the front of the house. The walls were a very light brown, like my hair, and there was no crown molding unlike the rest of the house. I took a few more steps in, in awe, and noticed two more doors and between them was a desk built into the wall. A bulky computer sat gathering dust on top of it. The entire processor looked seriously outdated but still usable.
Leigh noticed me staring at the computer. “I didn’t have any new PCs so I pulled one out of the attic for you, but you should have your laptop anyways,” she said hesitantly.
I had actually given my laptop to my mom for her business trip so I was thankful for her prehistoric substitute. I nodded my head still taking it all in, but quickly became curious. “What are the doors over there for?” I asked.
She quickly perked up and skipped towards the closed doors. She stopped in front of the one on the left and shoved it open for me to see inside. She flickered on a light switch just outside the door and the room lit for me to see. It was an empty walk-in closet. There were empty racks and rusted shelves for my belongings to go and the plain carpet throughout the room followed into the closet as well. In the middle of the closet was my luggage hauled all the way up here by Travis.
“You can start putting your stuff away later, for now you should rest. Oh, and, the other door is just your bathroom. If you want to wash up you can or you can just go back to sleep for a while. I know it’s a bit early for a teenager like you to be up,” she joked. “If you need anything, just say the word, I mean anything,” she assured me. She smiled once more before starting on her way out, but before she shut the door behind herself, she swiftly spun back around.
“I almost forgot,” she said awkwardly. She plunged her hand into her sweatshirt pocket and pulled out the shiny silver key again. She tossed it and I reached forward to catch it but I missed and picked it up off the ground instead. “Whoops. That’s the key for your room, so you can lock yourself in and do your own thing. But I do have an extra so nothing stupid or illegal, alright?” she said jokingly giving me a cute wink.
“No problem.” She shut the door and I was alone.
I let out the breath I seemed to have been holding and did the first thing that needed to be done. I walked drowsily to the glass door and slid it open. The fresh, after rain air filled the room dissolving the ridiculous raspberry odor. The need for such an intense smell was old-fashioned, no matter how much I despised the smell of wet dirt and concrete, my nose couldn’t stand the odor that reminded me so much of an old Hispanic lady’s house littered with dried fruit peels in tiny fabric sacks. I couldn’t comprehend why Leigh would bomb the rooms with such an off-putting sent. But really, what did it matter.
The rain from earlier turned to a light mist that fell from the gloomy sky overhead. I walked out to the edge of the balcony and leaned against the elaborate gate. The sight was one to be seen. Since the balcony was facing the front of the house, it looked over the hill Leigh’s house sat upon and you could almost see the entire city of Winter Crest. The early morning fog densely covered the city, but I could still make out my school and other large buildings below.
Everything down there looked so small. The trees looked like bushes and the houses looked like Legos. I was so high up in Winter Crest Heights, I thought. It was so different from my mom and I’s tiny apartment. My mom makes good money, but she wanted me to grow up normally and modest, that’s the reason we lived in such a tiny upstairs apartment. Her reasons were sincere, but the sacrifice of living in such a small home just for me was odd when she had worked so hard her whole life to get to where she was. I’ll never understand my mother, I thought. The mist turned into a sprinkle and I fled back into the room I’d call my own.
____________
The carpet was like plush under my feet. I picked them up and tossed myself onto my bed. I felt myself sink into the bed like I was lying on a cloud. Everything in Leigh’s house felt angel soft and radiated wealth, even in the most humble room of the house.
I had to tell my friends about all this, I thought. I hadn’t been online for two days. They were probably all worried about me. I reluctantly pulled myself off the bed and turned on the computer as I leaned back in the wooden chair set in front of the desk. The computer took quite a while to boot up but I couldn’t blame it, it was obviously more than a decade old. When it did finally reach the desktop screen, I couldn’t help noticing the blocky and ancient the taskbar looked. Even the desktop was a dull color of blue. I clicked the internet shortcut and hurriedly typed in my blog’s URL.
Loading.
The screen of my blog appeared on the Screen. BEFORE THE STORM it read at the top in a modern font that contrasted with the old style computer. I’d had the blog for a few years now and it had become was my life.
It was the home of all my friends, my feelings, and even some disturbing truths. I talked about anything and everything. All the hatred I faced at school and even the problems I had at home. Things I would never admit to someone’s face or anyone I knew were on my blog for everyone to see. I did have a few fans who liked to read, but it mostly consisted of my little group of friends: MelanCake, Human96, CloverChild, and DustRumors.
They were the ones I told everything. I mainly just used my blog to chat with them. They really were the only friends I had and the only people I trusted. I talked to them all the time, but my best friend out of all of them was MelanCake. Her real name was Nanda, but we all just called her Nanny.
I logged into the website.
USERNAME: SADISTICSAGE
PASSWORD: BITTERSWEET
My name told it all. Thanks to the help of Nanny, my username came to be. She said that’s the first word she thought of when we met because my first post was about me wanting to start cutting myself but being too scared to. I wouldn’t call myself much of a sadist, but the name stuck and that was the last of it.
Everything appeared in an instant and I opened up a new post. I began to write out my short thoughts.
Today is starting off pretty bad. So far my mom left me to rot at my cousin’s house for the next two months. I had to leave my laptop with my mom. I think the computer I’m using at the moment is older than me. And lastly, it’s raining and you know how I hate the rain.
Sorry for such despairing news everyone, but life just isn’t on my side right now. Even the room I’m typing this from is way too good for me. No matter how much my cousin tries to be normal, she just can’t. Oh well, I guess that’s just one of the hardships that comes with her wealth.
I don’t have too much to say today guys. I’m really just completely frustrated right now. I think I’m going to start unpacking my things or take a nap. Or maybe I should just kill myself now. Whatever.
I’ll talk to you all later. SadisticSage.
I read the post over and over again after I released it. I should have followed through on what I said I was going to do and just took a nap, but I was curious about who was online at the moment. A ding rang from the computer and the chat widget popped onto the screen. It was MelanCake.
MELANCAKE: Hey Sage. I just read your post. Sorry about your mom leaving and all. Where’d she go?
SADISTICSAGE: Thanks for the sympathy, I guess. She went near the coast; Marina Bay. You might have heard of it?
MELANCAKE: Yeah, I’ve heard of it. I live really close to that city. Did she just leave you in the dust for a vacation on the coast or what?
SADISTICSAGE: Its business. I would not let her leave on a vacation at this time of year, let alone for that long.
SADISTICSAGE: I’d love to talk to you some more Nanny, but I really need to go back to sleep. I can’t function this early in the morning. Wait! Why are you on the internet anyway? Don’t you have school right now?
MELANCAKE: Funny. I was going to ask you the same question. And I’m at school, but it hasn’t started. I’m using a library computer because I’m being a loner like you this morning.
SADISTICSAGE: Nice to know you’re always thinking of me.
MELANCAKE: No problem ;)
SADISTICSAGE: Anyways, like I said, I’ll talk to you later.
MELANCAKE HAS SIGNED OUT OF CHAT ROOM A.
I truly wanted to continue my talk with Nanny, I had so much to say to her, but a sudden rush of fatigue came over me like a wave crashing in. I thought I’d maybe follow my plan from before.
I pulled my sweatshirt from over my head and crawled into the sheets. They were cold but supple. I couldn’t help but lie there and think about what happened, and what I’d do. Because the truth was, I didn’t know what happened or what I was going to do. My past was bleak and unforgiving and my future seemed like it’d never come. All I wanted to do was fall asleep in this alien bed and never wake up.
They say be careful what you wish for because you just might get it. Well, right then, I wanted to die. It didn’t matter if someone shot or stabbed or gagged me to death, or even if a peaceful death awaited me. I didn’t want to go on living in a world where I was so blinded from the things in front of me and whether I knew I was blinded or not. I could fool myself for as long as I wanted, but when it was time to face reality, I just wanted to never wake up. Even if I did wake up tomorrow morning, what would I do? I thought as I lied under the chill sheets. The world seemed to come to a steady halt as if time itself had forgotten I existed. There was nowhere to go, no one to be with, it was just me.
I don’t know how long it took me to fall asleep, but I didn’t care. What did it even matter to me?
____________
I woke up with frozen arms and goosebumps covering my legs. The smell of the chilling rainy air surrounded me. I sat up in a rush and realized I hadn’t shut the door before I fell asleep. I rushed out of bed and closed the glass door shut, rain hitting me as I did.
“Damn, it’s freezing,” I whispered to myself as I shivered severely. Just outside the door it was night and raining with only the light of the moon showing me the way around. The carpet in front of the doorway was sopping wet. I wasn’t quite sure how I’d explain this one to Leigh, but nothing mattered more at that moment then finding my sweatshirt and getting somewhere warm.
My sweatshirt was crumpled up near my bed, and I threw it on as I inched out my door. I had no idea what time it was so if it was late I didn’t want to wake anyone up. I crept quietly down the stairs in the hushed house. The only sound was of the hard rain that pelted the large living room windows as it fell. Outside the window the moonlight was bright and could even be seen through the thick rain clouds that drifted overhead like in a nightmare.
I found my way to the kitchen, but was surprised to see that Leigh and Travis were still talking with only the glow of a dimmed kitchen lamp. I snuck around the door and leaned up against the opposite wall and listened.
“I just don’t know what I’m going to do anymore. She’s getting on my last nerve. I wish she’d just accept the fact that not everything is about her and just cheer up or something.” Leigh’s voice whined.
“You can’t make someone change. We can only wait until she sees what’s right for her.” Travis tried to sooth Leigh, but it didn’t work, his words only aggravated her more.
“Damn it Travis, you don’t know my cousin! She can be the most selfish little demon sometimes. She thinks she’s better than everyone else including me, even to the point that she doesn’t even have any friends!” She was yelling now. “She’s just a bitter little girl with no business running around and criticizing all of our lives when she doesn’t even have one herself! God, sometimes I just wish she wasn’t-” A slam echoed from the room as if one of them had punched into the counter.
“Leigh, shut up! She’s going to hear you. But first of all, why would you even think of saying something like that about Sage. Even if she is all those nasty things you said, she’s still your cousin. She is family! You can at least be a little more considerate. She is going through some really tough times right now and you need to respect that.” Travis said frustrated.
Leigh tried to say something back but she couldn’t seem to find the words because I only heard mumbling stutters. Then Leigh sighed.
“I’m sorry Travis. I didn’t mean to . . .” she trailed off. I heard Travis’s heavy steps and the soft whimpers of Leigh’s muted cries. I’d had enough.
I slid down the wall I was leaned against and found myself a spot on the floor. The cold marble beneath me made me shiver. Leigh didn’t want me there. She hated me just as much as I did her. All that kindness and sympathy was just another façade that everyone seemed to have had. She was just as phony as I thought she was! Another imitation, just what this melancholy world needs, I thought.
My arms fell limp to the ground and I looked out the grand windows of the living room. I watched each drop of rain kiss the glass and slide onto the sills as the downpour came to an unnerving end.
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