Young Writers Society

I'm Just Too Young.
For This.
I'm Just Too Young.
For Love.
I'm Just Too Young.
For Hurt.
I'm Just Too Young.
For Pain.
You Want Me To Be You're Friend.
Then You Want More Than That
To Be Your Bestfriend
Then Your BoyFriend
But.... Im To Young For Love.
Dont Want Love.
I Well Leave Love alone.
Its like a new pair shoes
You Never Wear Them Becase You dont Want To
Get Messed up
Just like Your Heart You Don't
Want it To Get Hurt
But You're Still Picking Up pieces To Your Heart
I'm Just Too Young For Love.

I liked it, but I think it needs more of a plot which you could develop. Just this doesn't tell us anything about the characters or really the story at all. There are some spelling errors (just typos and what not) but overall it has a lot of potential and I would enjoy to see something really amazing come out of this.

ili Leave Love alone

I actually read it again, and this is really the only typo I found. I'm not really sure what you're trying to say, maybe I'll.
I like it but if you're going to turn it into a novel (because that's what category it's in) then you might want to try added a little more detail this.
Keep writing, you have a lot of talent.

Hi frieeeeeeeend! ^_^ I love this poem so much, I can relate to it. It flows, I dunno, I loved it. Just doing a quick review, I spotted some weird things. xD But other than that is perfect.

YouWishYouHadThis wrote:I'm Just To Too Young.
For This.
I'm Just To Too Young.
For Love.
I'm Just To Too Young.
For Hurt.
I'm Just To Too Young.
For Pain.
You Want Me To Be You're Your Friend.
Then You Want More Than That
To Be You're Your Bestfriend
Then You're Your Boy Friend
But.... I'm To Young For Love.
Don't Want Love.
I Well Leave Love alone.
It's like a new pair shoes
You Never Wear Them Becase You dont Want To
Get Messed up
Just like Your Heart You Don't
Want it To Get Hurt
But You're Steal Picking Up pieces To You're Your Heart
I'm Just To Young For Love

~Solvy <3

It's a nice poem, but as the other comments stated, there are some grammar issues. Nothing too major, but you've been getting your/you're and to/too mixed up a bit too much.
Still a good idea. Nice stuff.

Hi there!

So I see everyone else already commented on the grammer and spelling errors, so I'm going to say what I like about this piece. My comments are in red.

YouWishYouHadThis wrote:I'm Just Too Young
For This.
I'm Just Too Young.
For Love.
I'm Just Too Young.
For Hurt.
I'm Just Too Young.
For Pain. I like the repetition here. It works well with the flow.
You Want Me To Be You're Friend.
Then You Want More Than That
To Be You're Bestfriend
Then You're Boy Friend I know how this feels.
But.... Im To Young For Love.
Dont Want Love. I like how you wrote about a problem and then responded to it.
I Well Leave Love alone.
Its like a new pair shoes
You Never Wear Them Becase You dont Want To
Get Messed up nice comparison here
Just like Your Heart You Don't
Want it To Get Hurt
But You're Steal Picking Up pieces To You're Heart good imagery
Im Just Too Young For Love.

Overall this is a great poem. If you just go back and fix the grammer and spelling error then it'll be great. Keep writing! Let me know if you want anything else reviewed!

This poem is very goo. I loved reading it!!! It was amazing!!

Heya, my friend!
I love this, and you're right. You ARE too young for love, so stay in school!!!
Just one thing that I didn't see anyone else catch...

But You're StealStill Picking Up pieces Of You're Heart
I'm Just Too Young For Love.

and dat's it.

Keep writing!
---------------------
-Jojo

There's nothing deeper than the superficial outside of this poem. Where's the deeper meaning?

I need something MOOOOAAAR. More. I need more. There isn't much here beyond "I'm too young for love." Show us, let us feel it or something. Do this in your own sort of way, with some creative method rather then simply telling us EXACTLy what's going on. Paint us a picture. And many of us have either been in this position or can easily empathize, so you want to go beyond the obvious and give us something MORE. But. That being said, I can feel some raw emotion, however. I dunno, I just get the groove that you actually do know what you're talking about with this poem. If it's completely fiction or if you're actually currently experiencing such a dilemma, let us feel like it's real emotion regardless. I feel like you as a writer can do more with this poem, so rattle it around a bit.

I like the concept of your poem novel, but like mentioned previously, there are grammatical errors that need to be corrected. You can definitely write, but you may want to use spell check before posting your work. It takes away from your writing and can be potentially distracting to readers. Like mentioned by previous reviewers, I can't really picture this as a novel at the moment. Perhaps a poem in a novel or one of those quote-y things in front of each chapter of a novel or maybe even a prologue, but not a chapter of a novel. If it's in fact just a miscategorized poem, you can ask a mod to place it in the poetry section for you. Happy writing!

:p I like it. But you capitalize the first letter of each word and that kinda drives me nuts...

You Want Me To Be You're Friend.
Then You Want More Than That
To BeYou'reBestfriend (your)
Then You're Boy Friend (your) (boyfriend is one word)

You also left out a bunch of apostrophes...but overall I liked it and I'm guessing this is, like, an opener for your novel...
~LP

I liked this, it was sweet and made me smile. I can agree with that, I'm too young for love. Haha.
Anyway. The only thing I saw wrong was in this line:

You Never Wear Them Becase You dont Want To

It should be:

You Never Wear Them Becase You dont Want Them To

But other than that it was beautiful. Keep up the great writing!

Well, I loved the idea, and yes, I am too young for love, even if I'm realizing a little late. Already been mentioned, I know, but you have so many typos!! Please, please edit before posting. Also, I don't see how in the world this is the first chapter of a novel. You gave no information, no plot, no real character, no setting. This was just emotion and repetition of the fact that you are too young for love and your reasons why. I need more. This could work for a prologue or the poem at the beginning of a novel, but as it is I really don't think it is a good first chapter.

Hi! I'm Kat and I'll be one of your reviewers today. Poetry's not my strong suite, even if it is in a novel, and I haven't reviewed in a million years. My critiques in the sentences are in bold.

"You Never Wear Them Because You don't Want To"

"Get Messed up" Get them messed up?

"Just like Your Heart You Don't
Want it To Get Hurt <3" I don't understand what the point of the heart is. It seems kind of an odd place to put it in the poem.

I'm pretty sure everyone else pointed out the grammatical errors that I saw and, frankfly, I'm too lazy to be a grammar nazi tonight.

My main issue with this was the grammar. It drove me crazy. We know you can spell these words but it seems like you're picking and choosing which ones you want to spell.

My other main issue was that it didn't really have any depth. You gave me no reason to care because of this. Show us, don't tell us. Give us examples. Describe how she told you she wanted to be friends and then how she switched to being more than that.

Overall: I think you have a good start. Work on your grammar and showing us, not telling us. I completely agree with you not being ready for love; I'm seventeen and I'm not ready, although I think it got me anyway.

Feel free to message me with any questions or if you need help!

-Kat

Hello!

I just noticed some corrections:
"But.... Im To Young For Love." The "Im" is not punctuated. It should be "I'm" then the "To" must be "too."
"Dont Want Love." It must be "Don't" and not "Dont"

Overall I like the poem. Hope it helps. Keep writing!