Young Writers Society

Characters

Hey my names Violet.
Im 16 and Im a loner.
Yep a loner.
No one likes me.
Im always sitting by myself.
People think im weird cause I dress differently.
I haven't had a boyfriend sinse year 2.
His name was Luca.
Hes a jock now so we dont really talk anymore.
I know its kinda wierd but I still like him.
But what kinda guy like him that has all the girls around him would want me?



Hey my names Luca
Im 16
Im the captain of the football team.
I really like this girl named Violet but shes different.
Not bad different but different that would make my popularity go from high to none at all.
I know it sounds mean but popularity is all I have.
I dont have a family that cares about me and the only girlfriends I have had are sluts.
I just wish popularity wasn't everything to me.
If it wasn't I would hold Violet in my arms.
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I will write more once I get used to the site more.....

I like that you give us a pic of how your characters will look like so if your novel becomes a hit, I might not be so disappointed if the characters are not what I wanted, but you stopped at the guy's part. Also, are you doing a full novel or just a sort of short story. There's some help given around this site if you're new here. Welcome to YWS and hope you enjoy it here.

For your first post, this poem was okay. It wasn't the best I've ever read, but that what this site is for- to help you get better. I like how you included the characters so that the reader could develop a better image of the people you were talking about. I would have liked it if you had added more imagery through your words. I wanted to feel the emotion of losing love and then wanting it back. Also, you stopped at the boy's part. Oh, work a little on your grammer as well (unless you mean your work to be written that way). But, Welcome! (I'm new too, so we can help each other out!)

Hi!
I really think you have an amazing story coming up! I do have a question though, is the story going to be just based on pictures or is it actually going to move on into paragraphs?

Im 16 and Im a loner.

I think that more information could be given on that one. Unless it's individual profiles on each teen. Then moving on to Luca. Maybe more information on him as well next time you write. I am just confused as to how you planned to write your story. It seems interesting though, and extremely creative, so I hope the best! Please continue with your style and be encouraged!