Hiya,
I'm here, as requested This is a very good start, I think. Obviously there are some mistakes you need to go backand review, as theotherone and murtuza have already pointed out. This is really great though, it makes me think of situations or memories I had with this x) I laughed out loud and can't wait to continue reading it. It's fantastic and you used great desriptions. I don't have anything to point out that hasn't already been said so I won't repeat it I found it interesting and very well put together.
Hopefully I'll get to readmore tomorrow or sometime soon and I'll keep reviewing future chapter as you requested. Keep this up!! Love it
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Points: 797
Reviews: 22