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Young Writers Society


When the World Stops Spinning: Prologue



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Wed Apr 23, 2008 8:31 pm
Church says...



Prologue Part 2: The Boy With All the Theories

March 10, 1989, the anniversary of the discovery, a boy was born in Dewey Oklahoma. His name was Alexander. He went to a new home with his parents, John and Linda Montgomery. His infancy and childhood gave no sign or warning of what future was to be sprung upon him. He was sixteen when he took interest in Ecology, more specifically, the theory of Global Warming.
He never liked or agreed with what the best scientists in the world had to say about the subject. He always had his own theories, and as he became older he would revise or substitute his theories for newer more plausible ones. At first he believed the problem was in the carrying capacity of the Earths human population. He soon abandoned that theory all together. In 2009, Global Warming hit a climax. It broke off a thirty-two mile chunk of Antarctica. A category five hurricane, nicknamed Ron, completely laid waste to the east coast. The worst came a month later. The jet stream came to a crawl and brought widespread drought and flooding to random parts of the world. The North Atlantic Current shifted and began a backwards cycle causing already serious problems to escalate to never before seen levels. The apocalypse was on the doorstep and humanity’s days were numbered.
Alexander had several theories of what was causing this but no solutions. He needed to know where the truth of the starting point was and how to stop it. The solution would come from a most unlikely source. Most that survive until 2012 called this source true fate, destiny, or coincidence. Whatever it truly was, It was their only last hope.
-"When God gives you lemons, you find new God" YouTube.com
-If the world is going to end soon, so be it. It can end without me. Myself
-http://www.youngwriterssociety.com/viewtopic.php?p=364993#364993 When the World Stops Spinning
  





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Sat Apr 26, 2008 7:00 am
seeminglymeaningless says...



Me again to check out your work.

1) I like this better than the other half of the Prologue

2) This half is written better, and it sounds like you at least know what you're talking about

3) below are my suggestions, ect

Have fun :)

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

Prologue Part 2: The Boy With All the Theories ------- decent title ------

March 10, 1989, the anniversary of the discovery, ------------- I think he should be younger. . . but that's just me ------------ a boy was born in Dewey Oklahoma. His name was Alexander. He went to a new home with his parents ------- what? Is that needed? "he went to a new home" that just sounds illy. . . ---------, John and Linda Montgomery. His infancy and childhood gave no sign or warning of what future was to be sprung upon him. He was sixteen when he took interest in Ecology, more specifically, the theory of Global Warming.

He never liked or agreed with what the best scientists in the world had to say about the subject. ----------- use his actual name sometimes, instead of always "he" ---------- He always had his own theories, and as he became older he would revise or substitute his theories for newer more plausible ones. At first he believed the problem was in the carrying capacity of the Earths human population. He soon abandoned that theory all together.

--------- new topic, new paragraph ---------- In 2009, Global Warming hit a climax. It broke off a thirty-two mile chunk of Antarctica. A category five hurricane, nicknamed Ron, completely laid waste to the east coast. -------- you could have the effects these events caused, in here - it'd be interesting to read about the devastation and everyone dying ---------- The worst came a month later. The jet stream came to a crawl -------- for those who don't know what the jet stream is, please explain ---------------- and brought widespread drought and flooding to random parts of the world. The North Atlantic Current shifted and began a backwards cycle causing already serious problems to escalate to never before seen levels. The apocalypse was on the doorstep and humanity’s days were numbered.

Alexander had several theories of what was causing this but no solutions. He needed to know where the truth of the starting point was and how to stop it. The solution would come from a most unlikely source. Most that survive until 2012 called this source true fate, destiny, or coincidence. Whatever it truly was, It was their only last hope. ------------ last 2 sentences sound a bit... silly -----------

------------------------------------------------

Love it.

*off to read chapter one*

Cheers, Jhai
I have an approximate knowledge of many things.
  





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Fri May 02, 2008 4:02 am
SuicideKing says...



Church.

My comments from part 1 stands.

I also think you should combine the two parts; prologues are rarely a two-part affair, and they are short enough that combining them would leave the piece of a tolerable length.

--King
“Yesterday we obeyed kings and bent our necks before emperors. But today we kneel only to truth, follow only beauty, and obey only love.”

--Kahlil Gibran
  








As a former (and rather excellent) liar herself, Aru knew that, sometimes, speaking the truth felt like wrenching a thorn out of your side. But doing the opposite meant pretending it wasn't there. And that made every single step ache. It was no way to live.
— Roshani Chokshi, Aru Shah and the Nectar of Immortality