Young Writers Society

A. M. Green wrote:Chapter 2
As soon as I left the house, I took off running. Why did you continue immediately from chapter 1? This doesn't seem like a whole other chapter, but instead, as an extension of chapter 1. Tears blinded my vision, but I kept on going strong. It was true that I had been playing hooky from school, but it was for a good reason. I had realized that the more I go to school, the more the people will know me, and the more they know me, the closer they are to finding out that I am a Shifter. I couldn’t take that chance. Not now, not ever. The government was still looking for me after six years. I have no idea what they wanted from me. If they were looking for you, then why did you even attend school at all? Why apply for it?
After running a ways, I decided that I needed rest. My Dad used to copy whoever invented the phrase, and say, ‘You can’t run from you’re your problems. You have to face them.’
I hissed under my breath. Yeah, well Dad, it’s not like I can actually go up to the government and say, ‘Here, you can have me.’ You taught me to run whenever danger strikes, and that’s what I’m going to do.
Suddenly, I felt my body changing deep inside me, and I knew that when the clock struck midnight, I would turn into a Shifter. And you know what? That was OK by me. Just because people are different doesn’t mean that you can treat them like dirt. I mean seriously, what’s wrong with turning into a sort of werecat every night? Nothing. What’s wrong with being the fastest person in the world at the age of thirteen? Nothing. What’s wrong with having extra strength, eyes that serve as night vision goggles, and ears that can hear the slightest sound a mile away? NOTHING! all caps is stupid. Don't do it unless you're writing a book meant for five year olds. I don’t understand why everyone else doesn’t get that. Nobody’s perfect. information dump alert. You could easily spread this information out across your story. You don't have to put all of his/her abilities down in front of our faces like that.
I lay down on the cool, dead grass, and cried. I normally don’t ever cry. Ever. But today, it was like the fighter within me died because someone brought up that he was skipping school. What a trooper.. Unexpectedly, I felt angry seriously? I would never guess from the tears.. I thought of Mom and Dad, and how they promised to come get me. Well, it’s been six freaking years and am I back on Tricopia with a bunch of other Shifters like me? No, I’m not. I’m still on Planet Earth, and I probably will be for the rest of my life. Thanks to my parents, I learned never to trust people. You can’t count on anyone, even the ones who love you the most. They say that their they're here for you, when really, they just lie. more information dump. This whole paragraph too, ouch.
I thought about these things for a long while, until my eyes started closing, and I drifted off into a deep sleep. Something that I needed for a long time.