Young Writers Society

omg i think im addicted.


it was real good.but i think in the beganing you intorduced the story like it was complicated and used alot of big-words.than towards the end you got very simple and normal.maybe you should even it out a bit more.

also you wrote

"I met up with Will in our kitchen; we exchanged our good-mornings and quickly decided to head out. I’ll drive. "


i think you mean "i drive"
the rest of the sentence is writen like he was talking about somthing he already did.so the last words should be past tense too.

over all i really like it and w2ould like to read more!

**UPDATE**

This piece is currently in an indefinate hiatus. I am planning on revamping the piece all together before proceeding with chapter two (which, no, I have not begun, I have a lot of things going on). I plan on taking out all sci-fi elements and rework the entire pacing. I am also currently dissatisfied with the plot, so I am also weighing the option of scrapping the project all together. So, if I do take that option, I apologize to those that were looking forward to seeing more of this novel.

I am working on other pieces of writing right now, so you can see more of me in the short future. I know no one has seen me here other than the occational review and this submission.

Yours Truely,
RebellionLies

Edit: You can check out the current piece I have in progress here.