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Safe Haven Ch1 S1 and S2



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Thu Nov 01, 2007 1:23 am
kshsj777 says...



** Note: There is a prologue, which you must read before this, or else the rest won't make as much sense as if you read the prologue. (But if you don't want to read the prologue, don't comment on my first sentence. :-D)



That had been nearly ten years ago. Jennifer Sweet had successfully completed her training as a Queller, and was now working as an ambassador, trade negotiator, and mediator between disputes.
Elder Jabeth had been her teacher, and even now, they remained close, with the elder being like the father she should have had.

Now, she was returning from her latest mission for a relaxing break in Safe Haven. Back to her apartment, still reserved for her after all these years. Back to the precocious town of Adala where Elder Jabeth resided in the training grounds. Back to breathe the fresh, unpolluted air, cherishing the safety that Safe Haven was well known for.

Ah! It would be a wonderful vacation. Jennifer was very much looking forward to it. But instead of being greeted by a warm, welcoming smile, when she entered Elder Jabeth's office, she was met with a sad, perplexed look.

"What's wrong?" she asked immediately.

"Jennifer," there was a little smile, but only that. "I'm glad you've come."

But he didn't seem like it. "Much I'm afraid," he added. Then he beckoned her in and indicated for her to sit. "Jennifer," he began again. "The Jenar."

"Again." This time, there was no revulsion, or fear. Just acceptance.

"Yes, but this is much worse, Jen. Much worse. There have been rumors that an all-out war is just waiting to erupt. And if that should happen..."

"Disaster," Jen finished. Jabeth nodded.

"Yes. That's why I've invited some Jenar to come here."

"What?" Though it was just a whisper, it might as well have been a piercing shriek. "You're letting a Jenar set foot on Safe Haven?" Though Jen kept control of her voice, there was no doubt she was quite disturbed by what her surrogate father had said.

"Jennifer, you must understand. We need to keep the peace, and the only way to do that is to hold a conference for negotiations. In light of the recent trend of arrests and deceptions on the Normals part, the Jenar are extremely wary of even meeting with Normals.

"They only agreed to meet on a neutral planet, and the only planet even remotely meeting that description would be Safe Haven. Now, the ambassadors have agreed to wear inhibitors, and surrender their weapons. We should all be perfectly safe.

"Now, Jen. I'm going to assign you as the Queller ambassador, representing our interests, since you have some experience with Jenar. Do you have a problem with that?"

Jennifer reflected on how some years back she had requested to visit a Jenar planet. She had barely escaped alive, wouldn't have in fact, if it hadn't been for that one Jenar... Him again. How long had that been? Three, four years ago? It been a while since she thought of him, that's for sure. If only all Jenar were like him, then maybe things wouldn't be so bad.

Stop it, she chided. That was a long time ago and many light years away. You'll mostly likely never see him again, and nobody else would ever think so differently like he did.

"No. It won't be a problem. I'll do my best," Jennifer promised.

"Good. That's all I can ask. Be careful, Jen. Of what you say, what you do. We don't want to upset them."

"I know, Elder."

"I'm sorry about this. I know you came here for a vacation, but after this negotiation, you'll get the full amount delegated, I promise."

"Thank you, Elder. When do I report?"

"Tomorrow morning." So soon! But it can't be helped.

"I'll be here. May God be with you."

"And with you."

***

As Jennifer entered the foyer where various ambassadors were talking amongst themselves, she scanned the room casually searching for the Jenar ambassadors. Her eyes settled on one in particular, and he looked strangely familiar.

The Jenar looked up, sensing her presence.

And Jenny got the shock of her life.

It was him: the Jenar who had saved her life, who had shown her kindness instead of arrogance. It was him. The typical green scales instead of normal skin. The coffee-colored hair. The blue eyes. He smiled at her, causing her heart to quicken. Did he even remember her, or was he just being polite?

But by the look on his face, he recognized her! Oh that smile! So contagious!

Immediately, Jenny felt awkward. She had no idea how to behave around him. Part of her was drawn to him, but part of her was still afraid. She felt vulnerable; the Jenar made her uneasy, even him. Especially him, though she couldn't understand why.

Maybe it was because he was different.

Reluctantly and yet eagerly, Jennifer allowed those long forgotten memories of their first meeting to rush to her mind. For a moment, she felt she was there all over again.


**Note: I am still figuring out everything that happens in the past when they meet so I'm really sorry if the next part is a lot of telling instead of showing.

"I'm Jennifer Sweet, a Queller. Requesting permission to land."

If she had known what would happen to her, she never would have spoken those words so boldly, nor even spoken them at all. How could she have been so naive? To think she could stay on a disputed planet ready to be taken over by the Jenar at any moment?

Jennifer was granted permission all right, but little did she know the take over had all ready occured. An involuntary shudder ran through Jennifer. But she persisted in her memory, feeling compelled to remember.

She'd landed. A few Jenar had appeared out of nowhere and arrested her as an enemy. They took her before the council. The council!

They demanded to know why she was there. When she refused to answer, the chancellor, Madame Blair, attempted to access Jenny's mind. When she could not, she pushed deeper. Angered that she was unable to penetrate Jennifer's barrier, she summoned her colleagues to her aid.

Suddenly, the probe was joined by a dozen others. Jennifer pressed her hands against her head in pain. "Stop!" she pleaded. She tried to push them away, but it was all she could do to keep herself from passing out. "Stop! Please! You're killing me!" Jenny sobbed.

"Stop!" a voice called, and immediately, the gale force ceased. Jen collapsed to the floor and the Jenar who had spoken ran to her, and helped her sit up. "Are you all right?"

Jen started at him in surprise.

"Are you all right?" he repeated.

"Yes."

"Madame Blair, you ought to know better than to use gale force on Normals. You could've killed her and then we would know nothing." He turned to Jennifer. "I need you to let me access your mind."
Jen quickly shook her head in fear, and scrambled away from him, still in shock.

"I just need to ascertain your motives, that's all. I promise I won't hurt you."

Jenny glanced at the council.

"They will not even approach you." He gave them a pointed glance. "You will not be harmed."

Could she trust him? He seemed sincere. Hesitantly, she lowered her mental shield.

She felt the others approaching, but before she could react, they shrank away from her. Jenny could feel to the echoes of a whiplash. She looked into the Jenar's eyes: filled with anger. She guessed he was berating them through a mental link she couldn't detect.

Then Jennifer felt him approach. Cautiously, carefully, soothing. He dove into her mind, scanning her recent memories. He briefly touched deeper, but quickly withdrew when he felt her anxiety. Then he left her mind completely, and Jennifer re-erected the mental barrier. But not before Jennifer caught his name: Kyle.

"She speaks the truth," he announced, more for her benefit then for theirs.


Jennifer snapped back to the present, and saw that Kyle was still staring at her. Then a realization hit her. He'd been relieving the memory with her! Embarassment washed over her, followed by anger. How could he have slipped into her mind unnoticed?

Then suddenly, Kyle withdrew, leaving behind vestiges of an apology. But that didn't satisfy Jennifer. She made her way throught the crowd, right up to him.

He knew why. He said nothing; what could he say?

Then Jennifer sighed. "Why me? Why are you so interested in me?"

"We're more alike than you think."

"How did you get inside my mind?" she demanded. "Is your inhibitor even working?"

"Believe me, Jennifer, if I didn't wear this inhibitor, you'd know it."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"You opened you mind to me without meaning to. But when you became aware of my presence, you cut me off. I only had enough time to apologize."

Jennifer stared at him stunned. "I cut you off?"

He nodded.

"But you're a Jenar. I only... "

"The memory we shared together was a pivotal moment in both of our lives. My conception of Normals was radically altered when I met you, and I know the same is true of you."


** Note: Sorry for the lame ending. I was just going to post the beginning and end of scene 2 skipping the memory part, but then I figured it wouldn't be fair to skip part of the story. Anyway. Any suggestion on improving it would be greatly appreciated.
Last edited by kshsj777 on Mon Nov 19, 2007 10:03 pm, edited 1 time in total.
  





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Mon Nov 12, 2007 7:01 pm
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Alteran says...



kshsj777 wrote:That had been nearly ten years ago. Jennifer Sweet had successfully completed her training as a Queller, and was now working as an ambassador, trade negotiator, and mediator between disputes.
Elder Jabeth had been her teacher, and even now, they remained close, with the elder being like the father she should have had.

Now, she was returning from her latest mission for a relaxing break in Safe Haven. Back to her apartment, still reserved for her after all these years. Back to the precocious town of Adala where Elder Jabeth resided in the training grounds. Back to breathe the fresh, unpolluted air, cherishing the safety that Safe Haven was well known for.


That was a big tell. It's boring, espsecially for a beginning. You need to be more in the character and show us through the characters eyes.

Ah! It would be a wonderful vacation. Jennifer was very much looking forward to it. But instead of being greeted by a warm, welcoming smile, when she entered Elder Jabeth's office, she was met with a sad, perplexed look.

"What's wrong?" she asked immediately.

"Jennifer," there was a little smile, but only that. "I'm glad you've come."

But he didn't seem like it. "Much I'm afraid," he added. Then he beckoned her in and indicated for her to sit. "Jennifer," he began again. "The Jenar."

"Again." This time, there was no revulsion, or fear. Just acceptance.

"Yes, but this is much worse, Jen. Much worse. There have been rumors that an all-out war is just waiting to erupt. And if that should happen..."

"Disaster," Jen finished. Jabeth nodded.

"Yes. That's why I've invited some Jenar to come here."

"What?" Though it was just a whisper, it might as well have been a piercing shriek. "You're letting a Jenar set foot on Safe Haven?" Though Jen kept control of her voice, there was no doubt she was quite disturbed by what her surrogate father had said.

"Jennifer, you must understand. We need to keep the peace, and the only way to do that is to hold a conference for negotiations. In light of the recent trend of arrests and deceptions on the Normals part, the Jenar are extremely wary of even meeting with Normals.

"They only agreed to meet on a neutral planet, and the only planet even remotely meeting that description would be Safe Haven. Now, the ambassadors have agreed to wear inhibitors, and surrender their weapons. We should all be perfectly safe.

"Now, Jen. I'm going to assign you as the Queller ambassador, representing our interests, since you have some experience with Jenar. Do you have a problem with that?"

Jennifer reflected on how some years back she had requested to visit a Jenar planet. She had barely escaped alive, wouldn't have in fact, if it hadn't been for that one Jenar... Him again. How long had that been? Three, four years ago? It been a while since she thought of him, that's for sure. If only all Jenar were like him, then maybe things wouldn't be so bad.

Stop it, she chided. That was a long time ago and many light years away. You'll mostly likely never see him again, and nobody else would ever think so differently like he did.

"No. It won't be a problem. I'll do my best," Jennifer promised.

"Good. That's all I can ask. Be careful, Jen. Of what you say, what you do. We don't want to upset them."

"I know, Elder."

"I'm sorry about this. I know you came here for a vacation, but after this negotiation, you'll get the full amount delegated, I promise."

"Thank you, Elder. When do I report?"

"Tomorrow morning." So soon! But it can't be helped.

"I'll be here. May God be with you."

"And with you."

***

As Jennifer entered the foyer where various ambassadors were talking amongst themselves, she scanned the room casually searching for the Jenar ambassadors. Her eyes settled on one in particular, and he looked strangely familiar.

The Jenar looked up, sensing her presence.

And Jenny got the shock of her life.

It was him: the Jenar who had saved her life, who had shown her kindness instead of arrogance. It was him. The typical green scales instead of normal skin. The coffee-colored hair. The blue eyes. He smiled at her, causing her heart to quicken. Did he even remember her, or was he just being polite?

But by the look on his face, he recognized her! Oh that smile! So contagious!

Immediately, Jenny felt awkward. She had no idea how to behave around him. Part of her was drawn to him, but part of her was still afraid. She felt vulnerable; the Jenar made her uneasy, even him. Especially him, though she couldn't understand why.

Maybe it was because he was different.

Reluctantly and yet eagerly, Jennifer allowed those long forgotten memories of their first meeting to rush to her mind. For a moment, she felt she was there all over again.


**Note: I am still figuring out everything that happens in the past when they meet so I'm really sorry if the next part is a lot of telling instead of showing.

"I'm Jennifer Sweet, a Queller. Requesting permission to land."

If she had known what would happen to her, she never would have spoken those words so boldly, nor even spoken them at all. How could she have been so naive? To think she could stay on a disputed planet ready to be taken over by the Jenar at any moment?

Jennifer was granted permission all right, but little did she know the take over had all ready occured. An involuntary shudder ran through Jennifer. But she persisted in her memory, feeling compelled to remember.

She'd landed. A few Jenar had appeared out of nowhere and arrested her as an enemy. They took her before the council. The council!

They demanded to know why she was there. When she refused to answer, the chancellor, Madame Blair, attempted to access Jenny's mind. When she could not, she pushed deeper. Angered that she was unable to penetrate Jennifer's barrier, she summoned her colleagues to her aid.

Suddenly, the probe was joined by a dozen others. Jennifer pressed her hands against her head in pain. "Stop!" she pleaded. She tried to push them away, but it was all she could do to keep herself from passing out. "Stop! Please! You're killing me!" Jenny sobbed.

"Stop!" a voice called, and immediately, the gale force ceased. Jen collapsed to the floor and the Jenar who had spoken ran to her, and helped her sit up. "Are you all right?"

Jen started at him in surprise.

"Are you all right?" he repeated.

"Yes."

"Madame Blair, you ought to know better than to use gale force on Normals. You could've killed her and then we would know nothing." He turned to Jennifer. "I need you to let me access your mind."
Jen quickly shook her head in fear, and scrambled away from him, still in shock.

"I just need to ascertain your motives, that's all. I promise I won't hurt you."

Jenny glanced at the council.

"They will not even approach you." He gave them a pointed glance. "You will not be harmed."

Could she trust him? He seemed sincere. Hesitantly, she lowered her mental shield.

She felt the others approaching, but before she could react, they shrank away from her. Jenny could feel to the echoes of a whiplash. She looked into the Jenar's eyes: filled with anger. She guessed he was berating them through a mental link she couldn't detect.

Then Jennifer felt him approach. Cautiously, carefully, soothing. He dove into her mind, scanning her recent memories. He briefly touched deeper, but quickly withdrew when he felt her anxiety. Then he left her mind completely, and Jennifer re-erected the mental barrier. But not before Jennifer caught his name: Kyle.

"She speaks the truth," he announced, more for her benefit then for theirs.


Jennifer snapped back to the present, and saw that Kyle was still staring at her. Then a realization hit her. He'd been relieving the memory with her! Embarassment washed over her, followed by anger. How could he have slipped into her mind unnoticed?

Then suddenly, Kyle withdrew, leaving behind vestiges of an apology. But that didn't satisfy Jennifer. She made her way throught the crowd, right up to him.

He knew why. He said nothing; what could he say?

Then Jennifer sighed. "Why me? Why are you so interested in me?"

"We're more alike than you think."

"How did you get inside my mind?" she demanded. "Is your inhibitor even working?"

"Believe me, Jennifer, if I didn't wear this inhibitor, you'd know it."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"You opened you mind to me without meaning to. But when you became aware of my presence, you cut me off. I only had enough time to apologize."

Jennifer stared at him stunned. "I cut you off?"

He nodded.

"But you're a Jenar. I only... "

"The memory we shared together was a pivotal moment in both of our lives. My conception of Normals was radically altered when I met you, and I know the same is true of you."


** Note: Sorry for the lame ending. I was just going to post the beginning and end of scene 2 skipping the memory part, but then I figured it would be fair to skip part of the story. Anyway. Any suggestion on improving it would be greatly appreciated.[/quote]
"Maybe Senpai ate Yuka-tan's last bon-bon?"
----Stupei, Ace Defective
  





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Sat Nov 17, 2007 5:56 am
hummingbird says...



This story is very interesting, you were able to keep my attention. I liked the way you went forward from the prologue. It will be intresting to read how you bring your readers back to events that happened during that phase and still stay current.

It would be good to get a better mental picture of the Jenar (what they look like). I have not read your next chapter, so maybe you have already done this. Also describe what Jennifer looks like now that it is ten years later. Great story, keep writing

hummingbird
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Mon Nov 19, 2007 10:04 pm
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kshsj777 says...



Thanks hummingbird. But it will be a while before I post any more of Safe Haven.

Sorry :(
  





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Fri Nov 30, 2007 1:12 am
Ryter says...



Still pretty good. Just a thought though; not much description in the way of scenery. You focus on what's occuring, and while you're doing that we create our own idea of what each place looks like. Big, small, grand, tawdry; we don't know what you want the rooms to look like.

Beyond that, you've done a good job. Sorry to hear it'll be a while before any more Safe Havens pop up, but it happens.

Ryter
  








The most important thing is to preserve the world we live in. Unless people understand and learn about our world, habitats, and animals, they won't understand that if we don't protect those habitats, we'll eventually destroy ourselves.
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