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Wed Jan 23, 2008 1:46 am
NightsDreamer2277 says...



Late again
Kochi opened the door to the girls' room to find them both asleep. With a mischievous grin, the young mutant shook Sarya lightly on the shoulder. She opened one eye lazily as Kochi prodded, "Get up, it's time for practice."

Sarya was about to ignore him when he shook her again. Getting rather irritated, she tried to roll over and ignore him when he threatened, "Get up or I'll make you."

Now thoroughly ticked, Sarya pointed to the window. Using her telekinesis, she opened it wide before using it to toss Kochi out and close the window again. With a sigh, she snuggled deeper into her warm bed covers, unaware that the boy had opened the window and climbed back in.

With a classic smile, Kochi summoned a rock pillar beneath Sarya's bed, tipping it so Sarya fell out onto the floor. For a moment, Kochi listened to the curses Sarya used. Then he shot off to the practice room before Sarya could make him regret it.

For her part, Sarya was ready to kill Kochi. Furious, she watched him skitter out to the practice ground before gently waking Ruby and getting ready. Washing her face, she tied back her dark hair and cleared the crust from the corners of her stunning green eyes.

Beside her, her best friend Rubella braided her light brown hair to keep it from her sparkling gold eyes. Known as Ruby to her friends, the girl was a magician with limitless potential for her abilities. Smiling brightly at Sarya, she vanished Luke's pillar and righted the spilled bed with a snap of her fingers. "There… Will you hand me the brush, Sari?" the girl asked.

The two friends were ready to go in about twenty minutes. As they swung by the kitchen to get a quick breakfast, they saw Major Drake, the head of the school. He upheld the discipline of the school and was a fierce figure to behold, especially in the early hours. With a nod, the two mutant girls hurried out to the gym where Luke and Kochi were waiting impatiently for them.

"What took you so long?" Luke demanded as he practiced with his staff. "I've been here for thirty minutes already."

Sarya glared at him before taking out several throwing stars and directing them to a target. "A word of advice, oh great leader," she said sarcastically. "If you want to continue having a team of four, don't send Kochi to wake me up at seven in the morning."

The team practiced in silence, using their preferred weapons as Major Drake watched. Then they began to spar, Kochi's sword against Ruby's martial arts (she had on bullet and thrust proof arm guards) and Sarya's hand blades versus Luke's staff. At Drake's word the pairs went at it.

The common problem was distance. Sarya could not get in close enough to attack, and Kochi couldn't block Ruby in such close quarters. The first pair fought lightly, almost in a drilled style, while Luke and Sarya fought in an all out match.

Luke's staff wove in intricate patterns to defend against Sarya's assault before forcing her to block his attacks. Sweating, the two locked weapons time and time again as the room faded to leave only the two of them and their fight. Yet the fight was not heated -merely a test of skill and will.

Ruby and Kochi had stopped and were watching in surprise as the two showed their best display of fighting skill. An hour passed before Ruby gently called, "Guys, you can stop now. In fact, we should have left for Specialty Briefing fifteen minutes ago."

Both contestants froze and stared at her. Then their eyes widened as they realized what would happen when Major Drake found them late. Grabbing the weapons, the team booked it out of the training to the next floor, where an unhappy major was waiting. "You're late. Which means LIVE practice before relaxation this afternoon," the major said coldly. "Take your seats while I give you the run down of the mission."
Last edited by NightsDreamer2277 on Sat Jan 26, 2008 4:05 pm, edited 2 times in total.
"When you need a stress relief, simply count to twenty. If you get to twenty and your still mad, go to a hundred. If you are mad after that, then go find some anger management, because we seriously have just wasted two minutes."-- Jazz
  





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Sat Jan 26, 2008 3:46 pm
JabberHut says...



Hello! I'm sorry I critiqued part 2 without looking at this. Actually, I'm more sorry for myself, 'cause the second part was really good. I knew this wouldn't be hard to read, and it wasn't. :wink:

Now thoroughly ticked, Sarya pointed to the window. Using her telekinesis, she opened it wide before using it to toss Kochi out and close the window again. With a sigh, she snuggled deeper into her warm bed covers, unaware that the boy had opened the window and climbed back in.


Lol!

...tipping [s]the bed and[/s] it so Sarya slid [or fell] out onto the floor.


"There… [s]will[/s] Will you hand me the brush, Sari?" the girl asked.


"What took you so long," [question mark instead] Luke demanded as he practiced with his staff, [period instead] "I've been here for thirty minutes already."


Sarya glared at him, [no comma] before taking out several throwing stars and directing them to a target. "A word of advice, oh great leader," she said sarcastically, [period instead]


The team practiced in silence, using their preferred weapons as Major Drake watched.


At Drake's word, the pairs went at it.


Luke's sword wove in intricate patterns to defend against Sarya's assault before forcing her to block his attacks.


I thought Luke had a staff...:?

Yet, [no comma] the fight was not heated, [a big dash instead] merely a test of skill and will.


Questions on the dash, just PM me. :)

Ruby and Kochi had stopped and were [s]staring[/s] watching [or 'gaping at'] as the two showed their best display of fighting skill.


"Guys, you can stop now. In fact, we should have left for specialty fifteen minutes ago."


Capitalize since it's a specific class...thing?

"You're late. Again. Which means LIVE practice before relaxation this afternoon," the major said coldly, [period instead] "Take your seats while I give you the run down of the mission."


Yet again, you did a wonderful job! :) Or, you did a good job here and can't wait for the second part! :D >.>

Nothing specific to mention down here, since you did an awesome job. I was starting to wonder if it's a fantasy or a sci-fi, but it seems to be one of those stories with both elements. I like those. :)

Keep writing!

Jabber, the One and Only!
I make my own policies.
  








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