Year 3000
So, we all have wondered at one point in our lives how our world came about. It a curious thing, actually, to really get into the thought. You start wondering which theory is correct, and which one to say you believe in. And believe me, there’s a lot of theories out there. Probably more than I can count. Now, I’m not here to tell you what to choose, or anything, I’m just stating what I know.
There’s religions, of course. I mean, those are pretty much all based on how our world began. Right? And almost all of them have different ideas. Right? Well, I suppose you could go with those, if you please. You know, attend church with all of the others who claim to believe the same thing. There’s nothing super exciting about all of that. Unless you’re a Theologian, of course.
Next you have the deep philosophers, the wonderers of the world. Now, some of the things they think of are a bit odd, yes, but I suppose if you believe in that, suit yourself. Whatever floats your boat. Some philosophers say things like, “The world doesn’t really exist, and never has. It’s all a figment of your imagination.” Well, then, I’ve got a pretty damn good imagination, in my opinion.
Then you’ve got the scientists. The people who are smarter than I’ll ever be. The ones who do all the work just so we can achieve the answers we want. They did a lot of research on a subject I know practically nothing about: The Big Bang Theory. Now, The Big Bang was supposedly the way our universe came to be. Now, I know nothing of this theory, hardly, so forgive me if I tell you incorrect data. After they did all of the intense research, the scientists finally came out with the Big Bang Theory. It basically went like this:
Bang!
And there it was.
2980
“Happy twenty-fricken-fifth birthday, man!” My friend held up a bottle of beer in cheers, and I clinked mine to it. The sound was extremely loud, and it hurt my ears, but I figured it was just because I had already drank three beers. I wasn’t exactly a drinking-man. I got drunk after two beers, then threw up after four.
“Sam, that’s the fourth time you’ve said that to me. You’re drunk!” I accused, pointing one of my bony fingers at his nose. His eyes crossed to get a glimpse of my finger, then he reached up and tried to grab it once--twice--got it. He held my finger in a death grip until we both cracked up laughing, having to set our bottles on the table so as not to spill them.
“Don’t tell me what to do.” He sputtered between catching his breath. It smelled awful, though I‘m sure mine smelled no better. He took one last swig of his beer, belched, then stood up shakily. He had had four beers, and he looked pretty wasted. “I’m going head up to bed. The wife’ll be home any minute.” He held a finger up to his lips. “Shhh.” Then he headed to his room and slammed the door.
I stood up and stretched, grabbing our beers that we had left unfinished and throwing them in the garbage. “Thanks for the great birthday, and goodnight.” I said farewell to Jane, Sam’s wife, as she was sitting on the couch in the living room, watching her soaps.
“Oh, anytime, Jim. I’m just glad you had a good day.” She waved goodbye to me with a small hand, and then I was on my way. I walked outside into the freezing cold. The wind slapped me in the face, mocking me and my lack of a coat. Shoving my hands in my pockets, I stepped down off the front porch and headed home, which was, thank God, right next door.
My feet sank into the wet snow, soaking right through my shoes and socks. A shiver ran all the way through me and my teeth chattered involuntarily. “Oh my frickety God. Frick, frick, fricken, frickety frick!” I muttered to myself, trying with all my might to warm up. Before I knew it, I was on my own porch, walking into my own warm, inviting living room. I sighed loudly and shook myself, as if that would cure my coldness.
Axel, my wonderful mutt, came running into the living room, barking spastically. She nuzzled my calf and licked my cold hands, making them warm again.
“Hey, girl. Were you good while I was gone?” I asked in a silly voice that should have belonged to a cartoon character. The voice seemed to come with a dog. Any dog owner will talk in that voice while petting their dog. It’s just an involuntary thing that you do. Like blinking.
Axel wriggled free of my grip and shot off in the other direction, first jumping on the couch, then bouncing off a wall, then crawling under a desk. I shook my head and walked into my room, then shut the door.
I looked at myself in the mirror, then rubbed my jaw, feeling the stubble. I’d have to shave sometime soon, but I was just too lazy.
My next task was to get myself clean for the next day. Today was Sunday, so I had to go to work the next day. I undressed and got into the shower, turning on the water. Of course, I wasn’t an idiot. I avoided touching the water until I was sure it was warm enough. I had been attacked by cold water far too many times to make that mistake again.
I let the warm water sooth me and closed my eyes, thinking. I did all my best thinking in the shower. I think everyone does their best thinking in the shower. It’s just a place that your mind wanders.
First I thought of work. Then of the many, many kids I had to work with, and how they gave me many, many headaches. Then I started to get a headache so I had to get out of the shower.
I wrapped a towel around my waist and stepped into my room. After drying off and putting on a pare of boxers ¾which had polka dots on them, I might add¾ I walked into the kitchen to . . . Well, I wasn’t really going in there for any reason, I was just restless and had nothing to do. The kitchen was always a great place to go when you were bored. There was always something cool to do in there.
My feet shuffled around on the tile floor for a while as I looked through cabinets, searched through drawers, and opened and closed the fridge several times over. For once, I had found absolutely nothing in the refrigerator.
Saddened, I walked into the living room, plopped myself heavily onto the green sofa, and leaned my head back. I stared at the ceiling for God knows how long, then I began to drift off. Before I could make myself get up to go to my room, my eyes fell shut, and no matter how much I tried, I couldn’t get them to open.
I awoke to a large, sloppy tongue planting long kisses onto my cheek. Axel.
“Come on, now. Get off, you big lug!” I shoved Axel onto the ground, and she looked up at me and wagged her tail, as if she thought we were playing a game. It wasn’t that Axel was very heavy, she didn’t even come up to my knee. It was because she didn’t find it pleasing enough to sit on your lap, so she had to sit as far up on top of you as she could. And she could get pretty close to your head.
I sat up on the couch and stretched. My muscles in my neck ached from the strained position I was in on the couch. Standing up, I looked around slowly, blinking my eyes to adjust to the light which I had left on. I walked into the kitchen and pressed a button on a small panel on the wall, then sat on the counter and waited patiently for a cup of tea. Most people liked to have a good cup of coffee in the morning, but I preferred tea. The taste was much better.
While I waited, my eyes darted around the kitchen a bit, until I spotted the clock. It read 6:45. Well, crap.
Shutting the tea dispenser off, I sprinted into my room and threw myself into the closet. I had to be at work in fifteen minutes, and I hadn’t even started the car. I grabbed a black suit with gray boots. After throwing them on hastily, I decided not to proceed in anything having to do with hygiene. It all took too long.
The garage was freezing, and I’m sure the temperature was much colder than it was outside. The garage door went up slowly, and I yelled at it as if it might go faster if motivated. It didn’t.
I jumped into my old car, an ugly, beat-up, yellow car with only two seats and no top. Let me just say it’s awful driving in the rain. Jamming my key in the ignition, I turned it, and a feeble sound escaped the car. After that, all I remember is screaming, groaning, and throwing the keys into the snow, then having to dive in after them.
After I had regained my cool composure, I looked around the garage for an alternative. All I found was a bike from when I was a young boy. It was small and red and probably meant only for a twelve-year-old. It’d have to do for now.
I hopped onto the bike and peddled away as fast as my legs would allow me to go. I was already sweating , soaking wet with snow, and out of breath by the time I got to the school. With five minutes to spare, I ran inside, past the principle, and into my classroom.
The small room was just how I had left it on Friday. Fifteen computers lined up perfectly on small, square desks, cheesy math posters hanging on the stark white walls, and colorful rugs strewn around the room. I sat down at my desk and started up the computer, which allowed me to start the other computers. Once they were all up and running, I typed the objective for the day, and it came up on the screen in the front of the room in large, bold letters.
Our Solar System
When I had been little, astronomy had been my favorite subject. Everything from comets, asteroids, and meteors to planets, rotation, and stars. I just thought it was fascinating how so many planets could really exist in the universe. It’d really get me thinking about alien life-forms. I mean, out of sheer numbers, there was a good chance another type of living organism existed somewhere in the universe. It’s amazing.
Right as I finished my thought, I heard several high-pitched, chattering children outside my door. They seemed to be talking five times the necessary volume for a conversation. Or perhaps it was just the “party” I had had last night.
“Come in.” I called to them cheerily, wanting to start the day well. If I was cranky in the morning, every student would be cranky for the rest of the day. It just wasn’t fair.
They filed into the room, smiling at each other and setting their bags down in a corner of the room and taking off soggy jackets and hats. Almost all of their noses and cheeks were bright pink and their ears were tipped red.
“Good morning class.” I sang in a girly voice. They mimicked my voice and broke out in a fit of giggles as they sat down at their desks, staring at me expectedly. Children were so easy to please. That is, until they got in one of their moods.
“Can anyone tell me what the board says?” I walked up and pointed to the black lettering with my finger. Half the kids began trying to read the words, saying things like, “Oh-oo-r . . . s-ah-lar . . . S-yes-tum . . .” It wasn’t too bad, considering the school year had just only started, and they were only five and six. The other half of the class just stared at the ceiling, picked their nose, kicked the table, etc. I smiled encouragingly at a petite, dark-haired girl. Her dark brown, thin eyes sparkled as she stared intently at the screen, trying to decipher the letters.
“Yes, Kyra?” I asked her. The small, Asian girl smiled at me in return and opened her mouth to answer hesitantly. Although she was one of the brightest students I had ever had, she was also very shy.
“Does it say, ‘Our Solar . . . System’?” She asked quietly but clearly, biting her lip slightly. Her face lit up when I nodded.
“Very good, Kyra, it does say ‘Our Solar System’.” I went into a deep yet simple lecture on the solar system, covering the basics: planets, our moon, and the Sun. The kids followed very easily, hanging on every word I said to them. By lunch time, they were all filled to the brim with knowledge.
“Alright, for the next few days you’re all going to do research on a planet of your choice and you’re going to tell the class about what you’ve learned. ” They nodded in return, and I dismissed them for lunch. I walked down to the lunchroom with them, got myself some lunch, and escaped to the teacher’s lounge.
“ . . . and I told him to go to you. Did he ever show up?” Mrs. Lynch, one of the fifth grade teachers, was speaking to the principle.
“No, he didn’t.” The tall, regal man replied, shaking his head in dismay. “Looks like we’ve got a missing child.” He rubbed his jaw, acting like he was deep in thought. “Oh, well, he’ll show up eventually.” Then he dug into his fruit salad hungrily, ignoring the shocked expression on Mrs. Lynch’s face.
I stifled a chuckle and headed over to sit by Gerald Brown, the councilor. The old man smiled up at me and patted the seat beside him.
“Hey, Jim, how were the twerps?” He asked jokingly, speaking of my class.
“Actually, they were pretty good today. I guess I gave ‘em a pretty big scare Friday, with all my yelling.” I took a bite of my salad. “They seem to be kind of interested in space, so I guess that’s pretty good.”
Gerald nodded and set his fork down, finished with his food. I guess I was kind of slow getting to lunch today, or he was just really fast.
“Ready for open house tonight?” He asked, smiling wryly. Of course he wasn’t necessary for these kinds of events. All he had to do was sit in an office all day and encourage those few kids who just didn’t do their work at school.
“Woo-hoo.” I said sarcastically, rolling my eyes. “The parents never approve of anything I do. I give a kid a time-out for hitting a kid, and they tell me I should have let it go. ‘Kids will be kids,’ they say! ‘Why should they learn basic math?’ they say.” I shook my head. “I never do anything right in their books.”
Gerald smiled and patted me on the back. “Persevere.” He said, giving me a thumbs up. Then he was out the door, heading back to his tiny office. Out of every office he could have gotten, he was given the smallest one. Even the janitor had a bigger closet than he did.
I finished my lunch alone, then headed back to the classroom. The rest of the day went by in a monotonous drone. All I heard was the clicking of fingers on keyboards while the students researched, and the occasional, “Mr. Watson, my computer freezed.” or “How do you spell Mars?” You know, the typical kindergarten questions.
By the end of the day I was about ready to jump off a cliff, I was so bored. For once, I wanted open house to come faster. It would have at least given me something to do.
“Alright class, we’ll continued the research tomorrow. Did anyone have any trouble?” The class shook their head in unison. “Ok, you’re dismissed. I hope I see you tonight” They filed out of the room, chattering away and bouncing up and down. Going home was their favorite part of the day. That sure makes me feel loved.
I stood by my classroom door, wearing my parent-smile. My parent-smile was the most polite smile I could possibly muster. Oh, how the parent-smile ached.
I was surprised to see parents with children walking into the classrooms around me, but none in my own. I kind of wanted to lure some of the people from other rooms into my own, just so it would look like I had some people interested in seeing me.
By the time I had to start talking about class, I had only five parents and children in the room. They were spread out as far apart as possible, I think. One in every corner and one right in the middle, as if they each couldn’t stand the others’ odor.
I walked to the front of the class and nodded greeting to them all. I recognized Kyra right away, hiding behind her mother and clutching her leg. It was a nice leg. In fact, when I looked at the entire body, it was very nice. I had never met Kyra’s mother before, but now that I had I was quite pleased. She had beautiful, almond skin, smooth as silk, it seemed. She had on a pair of black pants that hugged her skin tightly, but it was a nice tight, not the gross tight. Her white blouse flowed on her nicely, and went very well with her long, straight hair, the color of a dark night. I smiled at her, and what a beautiful smile she had. Her teeth were very straight and very, very white. Her lips had a dark pink colored makeup on them, and it made her face shine.
I looked away, realizing I had been staring. I hadn’t been caught staring at a girl since the first grade. I still didn’t feel too guilty about it. She was an extremely attractive woman.
As I spoke to everyone, I kept stealing a glance or two at Kyra’s mother, and every time I did this, I kept getting a goofy grin on my face. I’m sure at this point she thought I was quite a creepy man.
Once I finished speaking, nobody had any questions, so they all left. Except Kyra and her mother. They walked over to me. Well, the mother walked to me, and Kyra sort of stayed in the far corner of the room, too shy for a one-on-one talk.
“Hello, I’m Lin Long, Kyra’s mom.” She stuck out her soft, petite hand for me, and I grabbed it perhaps just a bit too fast. I shook it slowly, trying to make up for my fast behavior.
“I’m James Watson. Call me Jim.”
“I just wanted to say that I enjoyed your talk.” She put her hands in her pockets casually. “You seem like a great teacher.”
I smiled. “Well, thank you. You have a very bright young lady over there.” We both looked over at Kyra, who was staring at her shoes shyly, trying to hide her blushing face. Lin giggled cutely at her daughter’s shyness. When Lin looked back at me, we both smiled awkwardly, rocking back and forth on our feet. I wasn’t sure what to say next.
“Um . . . So, how come Kyra’s father didn’t attend tonight?” I hinted, scratching behind my ear. I hoped I didn’t seem too nosey.
“Oh, I’m divorced. And don’t say sorry, I get that too often.” She grinned good-naturedly.
I don’t think Lin could have guessed how happy that made me. To be honest, I had to force myself not to go, “Yesssssss!” really loud right there in front of her. It wasn’t everyday that you can find a single, attractive woman of your age. But I kept a cool composure, nodding slightly and smiling at her joke.
“Ok, I’ll be honest,” Lin continued, looking down and up through her eyelashes, “I didn’t stay after just to say I liked your speech.” She crossed her arms. “I couldn’t really help but notice that you didn’t have a wedding ring on.” I looked down at my finger, and sure enough, no ring.
“Yeah, bachelor, right here.” I said stupidly, pointing to myself and grinning happily. I was old enough to know where this was headed.
“Well, I was just wondering if you’d like to go out for dinner sometime, perhaps?” She smiled hopefully, but I’m fairly positive she knew exactly what I was going to answer with. She was pretty enough to know how these things went.
“I’d love to.”
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