Young Writers Society

Rated for strong language.

Reviews and likes are greatly appreciated.



After the funeral, after everyone was gone, the mourners, the caterers, the cleaners and all that was left was a immaculately clean house and a sickening sense of emptiness, I realized I couldn't stay.


I stood from the corner where I was sitting, hunched up, my arms wrapped around my knees and walked up the stairs to my room. It looked the same as always, a dirty shirt on my the floor, my English essay, half-written, on my computer desk.


The clothes I was wearing, not the same from the night I died, but the clothes they put me in at the hospital, after I was officially announced dead, were perfectly fine and I had a feeling I didn't really need to, or maybe I couldn't really change ever again. I grabbed my tote bag and walked over to my corkboard, swallowing hard as I stared at the dozens of pictures, a collage, all of them overlapping each other.


The first one I took down was the only family portrait I had, the one we took when I was 14, old enough to want freedom but young enough to be afraid of it. My father had his arm around my mom and her hand rested on his back. I was leaned into my mom, hugging Lucy to my side and my father had his hand resting on her shoulder. We were all laughing, not at the stupid joke the photographer had said but at the fact that we were taking Christmas pictures in July and the snow was really pieces of foam some guy on a ladder above us was not-so-gently dropping. I had loved us then.


The second was of Angelina, at her singing recital, looking breath-taking, sending chills up my spine as she reached the highest note in the song. She was wearing this simple but sophisticated green dress and flats, tippy-toeing with her arms out-stretched, looking like the prettiest thing in the world. It was a very classy event and not exactly the most fun place for a pair of sixteen year old's so, me and her had snuck up to the roof to get some air. We had lay on our backs, whispering and giggling about stupid things, our pinkys laced together. I had loved her then.


The third was of me and Aiden, on our way to prom, looking more like the adults we were going to be than the silly teenagers we were that would get drunk and have sex later on that night. I hated my dress, this long hour-glass black thing, that clashed with my hair and made me look like I was on my way to a funeral. Aiden looked amazing as usual, his chestnut hair floppily falling into his face as he pushed my chin up and kissed me softy, murmering that I looked beautiful in whatever I wore. I kissed him back until my father cleared his throat and we all blushed and laughed like we were in a 50's TV show. Later, when we met up with the others, Tyler and Nina walking along with Daniel and his boyfriend James, I had a strange feeling that this was the last time we'd all be happy. Throughout the night, Aiden never let go of my hand, his eyes bright as he kissed me at random times, as if to let me know always that he was mine. I had loved him then.


The fourth was of me and Nina, kind of tipsy at Julia Lycrowski's Sweet 16. We were on the court, so our dresses were identical baby pink with these ridiculous glittery star things on them. The party was nice and family-friendly until her parents called it a night and left. After that, everyone shed the ugly pink dresses and awkwardly formal suits, switched the pink lemonade with vodka and the atmosphere changing faster than the speed of light, so quick, you could blink and miss it. Daniel had taken the picture but we had refused to talk or dance with any of the guys, allowing them to watch us dance, watch us laugh, watch us love but never allowing them to touch. I had loved her then.


And finally, I took the corkboard off the wall and turned it over, peeling off the final picture I would take. It was my fifteenth birthday party and my mom was sneaking up to take a picture, her face clear of stress lines and her eyes still full of tears that haven't spilled quite yet. We were in the basement and Tyler was on the couch next to me, telling me something that was so incredibly hilarious then but I can't remember now. Aiden and Nina were playing spit on the floor and Daniel was watching a soccer game on the tiny black TV we had with Montag and Adam. I was laughing so hard, my head tilted back a little and my hand over his. Tyler had this little smile on his face and I loved him so much it hurt. Later that night, I got my first kiss. I had loved him then.


I put the pictures in my bag with my journal, my camera and my phone, slightly shaking. There was a knot in my throat as I went to my drawer and took out the small black box I had been given on my fifteenth birthday, after I had been kissed. The necklace was simple, a silver chain and a little charm, a sideways eight- infinity. My fingers trembling as I took it out of the box, my fingers brushing against the velvet lining, taking out my necklace corpse from it's coffin and slipped it on, unable to clip it together for a good five minutes. Somewhere in the back of my mind, I knew that it should be impossible for me to touch things, to take things, but I supposed the universe worked in strange ways and nobody would notice the photographs or my necklace gone.


I left and went to Lucy's room, where she lay on her bed, dried tears making tracks down her face, her eyes closed in sleep. I pushed her golden strands of hair off her face and kissed her forehead gently.


"Sleep well," I whispered and for a moment, I believed she heard me as she rolled over and her face relaxed.


My parents were separate but together, in the same bed but miles apart. My mother looked like a ghost, with her dark hair down, surrounding her pale face. Her make-up had smudged all over, creating black circles around her eyes. She looked haunted and ghastly and so tired that I couldn't even move towards her, couldn't disrupt whatever sleep she had managed to get. I turned towards my father, walking close to se-


"Chloe?"


I froze.


"Chloe? Is that you? Are you here?" My father's voice was gruff and cracked with grief as he said my name.


I swallowed hard and moved closer to him.


His hair was ruppled and he looked insane, with bright, wide eyes staring into space, staring at no one, at nothing. He didn't really hear me because I made no sound, didn't really see me because I wasn't there. It was like I was in a different dimension, on a different plane, able to see people and touch things while dead but I was invisible to the living.


"Chloe, please don't, please, forgive me. I'm sorry, Chloe. I didn't- I shouldn't, I can't have you be mad at me anymore. Please forgive me. I'm so sorry."


I knew my father was speaking to himself, attempting to forgive himself but I still ran from the room, running down the stairs two at a time. There were tears dancing down my face as I reached the front door, opened it and slammed it shut, leaving behind guilt that wasn't mine and apologies I didn't want.

Dearest, Jas. ;]

I figured I may as well lend a friendly review, seeing as no one has yet commented on chapter three and I'm always late to show to the party. So! Here we go.

Now, what I really like about this chapter is the fact that you've opened up Chloe's character some. I've yet to read back through your older chapters, but seeing as you've mentioned making slight alterations to the way Chloe's emotion is evoked throughout the story, I'd say it was a wise decision to go back through and do that. Continue to build on her more in that way as you allow the story to progress. It's rather vital seeing as she's dead and all! Allow peaks into her mind and such. Be open and creative with her character. I know you'll do her much justice.

Now, I'm really glad you took the time to remember the pace of your story in this chapter. It's mellowed out a bit. You take the time to focus on some of the littler details and to have Chloe reminisce a bit in the present tense. I think I like this much better actually, instead of having you go back too far into the past in sunken memories. There's something about doing that too often that starts to make the sense of your story grow detached. You want everything to remain out flat on the table where the reader can see it and entirely take it in in one smooth stride. Don't leave us to think too much, but give your story the type of flow that leaves the reader craving for more.

As I think I've mentioned before, I was a bit worried about the direction in which you planned to take this in. I think that before moving too far forward you'll at least take into consideration what you plan to really do with these characters and give some hint as to what might happen to Chloe by the end of this story. You delve into past memories a lot I notice. Perhaps there was something that occurred in the past that has left Chloe staggering behind instead of moving on? Is she not yet at rest? I feel as though you might be being a wee bit suggestive, but I also feel like by this next chapter I'm ready to start taking in stride what's meant to occur with the gist of this whole odd occurrence of Chloe's death.

At one point here in the end you had Chloe going in to her parents bedroom. You had the father apologizing fiercely to her, but I was a bit clued out on what the heck that was all about. As it is, I'm already on the way outside looking in. I hope you'll better unravel these little details to me, or I feel I may soon become lost in the aimlessness. D:

There were a few places in which you could have better proofread. The flaws are so obvious I suppose I'll refrain from pointing them out to you here in my review, for fear of seeming all anal and annoying. xD But yes, please go back through and weed out all the littler mistakes that occur periodically throughout this chapter, please. At least before you move on.

Overall, I suppose I'm still interested, although I'm not sure how much longer I can hang on with wondering what's going on. So press on that a little bit. If even a little bit, but just give it some general direction. I feel a bit like I'm wandering restlessly with Chloe.

-Smylin'

Hey Jas, Stella here! I'm sorry it's taken me so long. It's not that I'm not interested just that I haven't had time so if it does take me a while to get to things, please don't think it's because I'm not enjoying this! But a girl has things to do...

I. NITPICKS

left was a immaculately clean house and a sickening sense of emptiness, I realized I couldn't stay.

Why is the house clean? After a big group of people being there I wouldn't think it'd be very clean...

a dirty shirt on my the floor,

of mine.

She was wearing this simple but sophisticated green dress and flats, tippy-toeing with her arms out-stretched, looking like the prettiest thing in the world.

the "this" seems a little out of context.

sixteen year old's so,

olds

I hated my dress, this long hour-glass black thing,

then why choose that dress?

We were on the court,

Wot.

a sideways eight- infinity.

I think a full stop would be more effective than a dash.

II. OVERALL

Have I mentioned how much I love this? However there are a few things that I think I should draw your attention to:

1)- Voice. I know you're concerned about it. I'm actually at this stage saying don't be worried. Your characters seem distinct to me, but what is the same is the style and tone. Those need to be the same for continuity's sake. But I think you're doing just perfectly switching sides, so don't be too concerned.
2)- the necklace. I get that this is probably going to be a running theme through the novel- great! I love it! However, my complaint is that having just kissed her for the first time, an infinity necklace seems... I don't know? Either over-the-top or immature in a way that eighteen year old Chloe would laugh at it rather than cherish it. I'm wondering if the gap between the kiss and the necklace should be longer.

But overall, not much to complain about!

Hope I helped, drop me a note if you need anything!

-Stella x

Hey Jas!

I really am enjoying this story. The wording is great and it seems to be flowing along quite nicely. The only thing I'm still unsure about is how much longer I can read on without knowing the truth about how Chloe died. I feel a little bit closer to the answer after the scene with her dad when she's in the bedroom. Him aplogising makes me wonder why he feels the need to, and it makes me want to dig deeper. The little clues and teasers are great, but you'll need to reveal something bigger soon or potentially risk losing readers.

Something else I wanted to pick up on is something that I don't think anyone else has pointed out yet. The scene where Chloe's in her room is nice. I felt like I was with her, looking over her shoulder, as she picked up the photographs, but I was left feeling a little confused. Why did she take them? And, more importantly, how could she take them? She's dead. I mean, it's up to you what rules you make when it comes to what a dead character can and can't do, as it's your story. But to me, picking up a bag and stuffing photos inside is going to be a hard one to explain when it comes to the photographs being missing. I mean, it's not like you have to make her family notice, but I was just wondering where the line is when it comes to how much power Chloe has in the living world. We see that she can take things, hold things, watch the world go by without being seen, but where does the difference between the dead and the living start. Is it just that she can't speak to them? It's just some food for thought really. Nothing major. I'm just wondering out loud, so to speak.

Another great chapter anyway! I look forward to finding out the truth about Chloe

xDudettex

Hiya Jas! Here at last!

I really enjoyed this chapter. Ah, the more I read the more I love this story. Anyways, I don't have many nitpicks in this chapter just a few things I want to mention.

You say that Chloe's and Tyler's voices sound essentially the same. I agree, they sound similar, but I don't think that's a bad thing. They're not exactly the same, they have distinct characters within the voices, and I think it would make sense that they would have a similar voice as they've been such close friends their entire lives. They're going to have a lot of similarities having shared a childhood like they did.

One thing that really got me was when Chloe takes down all the pictures, takes the tote bag, and puts on the necklace. She's not human. I don't know if she's technically a ghost or a spirit or whatever but it doesn't seem like she's...solid enough to touch things that are solid and earthly. It might not matter, it might be something that readers just accept (though I did find it odd so it's likely others would as well) but you might want to think about how Chloe funtions within the human world. Other people can't see her, it appears, but how is she able to interact with everything around her?

I like that we see a little more emotion from Chloe, but I think there's a little more we could get from her. She's our protagonist, she's the one we want to care about. A lot of this is observing things, but how does she feel when she's looking at her grieving friends and family? At the places she used to live? You're getting there, so close to giving the emotion we want as readers, but just not quite there yet. Think about subtle signs of emotion, how people carry themselves when they're sad, happy, angry, etc. Body language can be just as important in writing as it is in things like acting.

Again, I loved this chapter and can't wait for the next! Hopefully I won't be so late to the party next time xD

Keep writing!

-Lauren-

Please please please tell me your writing more?? Im hooked, im drawn in by the details...i can feels as if im actually there. You can never go wrogn with detail! Please write more! Your doing great!!!

Hey Jas!

I actually didn't review the last piece because it was beautifully done, and I didn't think there was anything to critique about. So if I were to write a review for that, I'd basically end up writing a long paragraph about just praising you.


First thing I'd like to rather talk about is your sentence structure. I know you said you're not really keen on grammar and stuff, but mainly the plot but I strongly think that your sentences are too long. I don't personally mind long ones, but these were really too long and besides that there were not two three places where this happened, but in the entire piece. So, I think you might want to look for these and shorten them a bit. Mainly because they seem sloppy for the piece and secondly the readers might have to read a sentence twice to get the gist of it. I hope you're getting what I mean.
Here's an example is a spoiler.




Alright, the more you write, the more I can't get my head out of it. It's like you have got this big secret stowed away somewhere and you're just leaving small hints for us to catch. It's exciting. It's like Treasure Hunt. Even though I'd have said that it's time you progressed the plot, but I don't want to. I'm actually enjoying reading the way this is going-even though the plot isn't really moving, but the innovative ideas you have in here are great.

I don't really have stuff to advice you upon, you're far too smart for that. But I'd like to tell you that how amazing everything you write is and you should continue experimenting with your stuff and try adding stuff which we haven't read about earlier.


So, I feel pretty much a loser since I didn't really help you out. I'm so sorry for that.

Keep Writing,
Mia

Normally, I’d just tell you how awesome you were in a sentence or two so I could actually review. But what you did here:

The first one I took down was the only family portrait I had, the one we took when I was 14, old enough to want freedom but young enough to be afraid of it. My father had his arm around my mom and her hand rested on his back. I was leaned into my mom, hugging Lucy to my side and my father had his hand resting on her shoulder. We were all laughing, not at the stupid joke the photographer had said but at the fact that we were taking Christmas pictures in July and the snow was really pieces of foam some guy on a ladder above us was not-so-gently dropping. I had loved us then.

The second was of Angelina, at her singing recital, looking breath-taking, sending chills up my spine as she reached the highest note in the song. She was wearing this simple but sophisticated green dress and flats, tippy-toeing with her arms out-stretched, looking like the prettiest thing in the world. It was a very classy event and not exactly the most fun place for a pair of sixteen year old's so, me and her had snuck up to the roof to get some air. We had lay on our backs, whispering and giggling about stupid things, our pinkys laced together. I had loved her then.

The third was of me and Aiden, on our way to prom, looking more like the adults we were going to be than the silly teenagers we were that would get drunk and have sex later on that night. I hated my dress, this long hour-glass black thing, that clashed with my hair and made me look like I was on my way to a funeral. Aiden looked amazing as usual, his chestnut hair floppily falling into his face as he pushed my chin up and kissed me softy, murmering that I looked beautiful in whatever I wore. I kissed him back until my father cleared his throat and we all blushed and laughed like we were in a 50's TV show. Later, when we met up with the others, Tyler and Nina walking along with Daniel and his boyfriend James, I had a strange feeling that this was the last time we'd all be happy. Throughout the night, Aiden never let go of my hand, his eyes bright as he kissed me at random times, as if to let me know always that he was mine. I had loved him then.

The fourth was of me and Nina, kind of tipsy at Julia Lycrowski's Sweet 16. We were on the court, so our dresses were identical baby pink with these ridiculous glittery star things on them. The party was nice and family-friendly until her parents called it a night and left. After that, everyone shed the ugly pink dresses and awkwardly formal suits, switched the pink lemonade with vodka and the atmosphere changing faster than the speed of light, so quick, you could blink and miss it. Daniel had taken the picture but we had refused to talk or dance with any of the guys, allowing them to watch us dance, watch us laugh, watch us love but never allowing them to touch. I had loved her then.

And finally, I took the corkboard off the wall and turned it over, peeling off the final picture I would take. It was my fifteenth birthday party and my mom was sneaking up to take a picture, her face clear of stress lines and her eyes still full of tears that haven't spilled quite yet. We were in the basement and Tyler was on the couch next to me, telling me something that was so incredibly hilarious then but I can't remember now. Aiden and Nina were playing spit on the floor and Daniel was watching a soccer game on the tiny black TV we had with Montag and Adam. I was laughing so hard, my head tilted back a little and my hand over his. Tyler had this little smile on his face and I loved him so much it hurt. Later that night, I got my first kiss. I had loved him then.

completely deserves commendation. The pictures were a perfect segue into these memories. Normally, I think, the reader would prefer to be a fly on the wall, seeing the events as they pass. But these aren’t flashbacks, not quite, more like the bare narration of the bygone life of a deceased girl. And that they have so much sentimentally, which is presented so simply, makes them even more effective as a scene. The more she reacts to them on her own, the less the reader is left to feel. If she were weeping uncontrollably, it would induce far less sympathy than the quiet trembles you leave her with do. In other words, I like that you didn’t show her thoughts. You simply showed us how much she loved, and delicately emphasized that that love is gone. Also, I like how you had her go to Lucy right after.

Now for the part where her dad talks to her. First, I love that as a way to get her out of the house. However, it’s so incredibly random. No one else has been able to “see” her up to this point. It simply struck me as odd, and, as ironic/moronic as this is going to sound, significantly unnatural. At this point, I’m not quite sure which outweighs the other (the love or the oddness). If you can manage to explain it away, then please do. Even if the explanation is utter BS. Don’t get me wrong; it works the way it is, but if you want to make this strong, an explanation is in order. It’s just weird. I’ll leave it at that.

I have no major complaints. Your writing is very near flawless, as always, and the story is flowing very naturally. Chloe’s beginning to settle as a character, I believe. The others are coming along as well, though at a slower pace, but advancing nonetheless. Aiden figures most prominently among them, I should mention. Tyler may be being eclipsed (that’s barring the letters from consideration). Which is odd, considering that outburst thing and the million mentions. (You might want to ignore all of this.) But still. It would seem as though Tyler always appears in opposition to Aiden, as though he can’t exist without Aiden’s contention, but not vice-versa. Hmm. It might just be the names, and the personalities I’m sensing. The whole thing with that guy at the club—Aiden’s seeming more strong as a character, you know? Tyler’s off to the side a bit. Through whatever Tyler’s strength is, you might want to try putting him on par with Aiden’s tough-guy-with-a-heart-and-maybe-a-brain.

Aiden, as a name, seems to suggest a personality that pushes itself to the forefront and makes a slam dunk. Tyler stands back and waits for what he feels is his moment. Which, in my opinion, is perfectly fine, but Tyler needs to start scoring some three-pointers or he’ll lose the game. I mean, even if Aiden started losing points, Tyler needs a strong foundation of his own.

I apologize profusely for that sports metaphor.

Jas,

It's been a while, but I was able to dive right into this and feel right at home which is a great feeling. I'm going to apologize beforehand, it looks like you've received some great reviews and I haven't got the chance to read through them, so if I repeat a few things, I'll apologize.

Now, I also vaguely remember that this is a draft and you're focused more on story/plot elements and you don't like the tediousness of grammar reviews - but just this once I'd like to point out something.

Throughout the piece, there is a particular style and voice that remains consistent, which is a good thing. A big part of achieving that style is your sentence construction, which is something that is uniquely your own, and you'll find depending on how long it took you to write - it comes fairly natural to you.

Always remember that your sentences are the building blocks of your story - if you're writing an action piece - your sentences best reflect it; this piece too - has this "wallow" aspect to it, and I find it interesting how the sentences are constructed to reveal that aspect. These are all good signs, but it presents a double-edged sword and you risk sounding too repetitive.

Some people overuse the "Subject + verb" - and it's good because the piece is quick, immediate, and straightforward, but overtime it runs the risk of reading rather choppy.

Your sentences like to insert a lot of interesting details all over the place, which really lends to Chloe's voice/character. I like it for this piece because these details are important to her, she is dead and she is clinging for life, similarly your sentences seem to cling to these details and effectively achieve that "wallow". This is a good thing! BUT - it's a double-edged sword. Sometimes too many details can bog a story down. In your case, there were a lot of places that I was "verb hunting" - almost like I'm swimming in a sea of words trying to find that all too important subject and verb.

I'll point them out.

After the funeral, after everyone was gone, the mourners, the caterers, the cleaners and all that was left was an immaculately clean house and a sickening sense of emptiness, I realized I couldn't stay.

Your main sentence here is: I realized I couldn't stay.

The clothes I was wearing, not the same from the night I died, but the clothes they put me in at the hospital, after I was officially announced dead, were perfectly fine and I had a feeling I didn't really need to (....didn't really need to what? Change?, or maybe I couldn't really change ever again.

This sentence boggles me. Where is the main subject/verb? The clothes were fine ...?

The second photograph? was of Angelina, at her singing recital, looking breath-taking, sending chills up my spine as she reached the highest note in the song.

Main sentence: Photograph was of Angelina

The fourth was of me and Nina, <-- can we vary up the intro/transition line here kind of tipsy at Julia Lycrowski's Sweet 16. We were on the court, so our dresses were identical baby pink with these ridiculous glittery star things on them. The party was nice and family-friendly until her parents called it a night and left. After that, everyone shed the ugly pink dresses and awkwardly formal suits, switched the pink lemonade with vodka and the atmosphere changing changed faster than the speed of light, so quick, you could blink and miss it.

I kind of like how you kept the photograph-scene uniformed - but you can keep it uniformed without using the same words over and over. I didn't mind the "I had loved him/her then" part. What annoyed me was the "The first photograph was... The second photograph was...." I know you can come up with something a lot better.

That being said, I enjoyed that part of the story because for once we finally get an emotional aspect of Chloe's character, and it's almost fitting that she's a ghost in this story. To me, Chloe as a character is someone who is sentimental (loved the infinity necklace placement here!), someone who is longing, and someone who has deep regrets - and all of these characteristics are very fitting for a ghost. The greatest pleasure I take as a reader of this story is trying to separate "ghost" Chloe from "living" Chloe, and the juxtaposition of Chloe's present actions versus the photographic stills is perfect for that kind of thing and much more effective than a bunch of flashbacks.

But back to my grammar explanation, look at your main sentences:

The photograph was of me and Nina
We were on the court
The party was nice and family-friendly

Everything else in that paragraph is all detail xD And like I said, it's not all a bad thing. BUT take a look at how weak your main sentences are. I think you know that the scenes of this story are not very action-packed, and what keeps it interesting are the characters and the emotional qualities. Your sentences reflect just that.

And you know that just because this story doesn't feature monster trucks or ninja monkeys, doesn't mean that there's not something exciting driving the action. Change begins with your sentences.

And finally, I took the corkboard off the wall and turned it over, peeling off the final picture I would take. The picture was on the back of the corkboard?

Main sentence: I took the corkboard

The necklace was simple, a silver chain and a little charm, a sideways eight- infinity. My fingers trembling as I took it out of the box, my fingers brushing against the velvet lining, taking out my necklace corpse from it's coffin and slipped it on, unable to clip it together for a good five minutes.

Main sentences:
The necklace was simple
I took it out (This sentence was another "verb-hunting" sentence for me. "trembling, brushing, taking out" these are all adjectives

I hope this review shed a different perspective on this chapter. I know I was being nit-picky, but I feel like it pays to be nit-picky with this piece because with every coming chapter I see a lot of improvement And SOO much potential. I wish you the best for this piece, Jas. Out of all the people I've read, it seems to me you've worked the hardest on this piece here, and I'm glad to see you haven't given up and are still writing strong as ever.

The conclusion of this chapter was unexpected, and I'm actually curious to see what will happen next. Great job!

~ as always, Audy

Hi Jas!

This chapter was pretty good. I can't fault it and I only have one critique! As Thatoddkid said, the pictures were such a great way introduce the memories. It felt like a completely normal thing. This whole chapter felt natural and as if it didn't take any effort, but at the same time, I can see the hard work you've put into this, so well done!

As for your viewpoint issue, I totally understand where you're coming from as I've had issues myself. I find that as I go through the course of writing my own novel, my characters become their own people. Yes, Tyler and Chloe DO sound similar, but that's okay because there is still a difference between the voices. I think it's that kind of similarity that it's okay to be at. Well done on that!

The ending was confusing. But in a good way. I wondered whether her dad could actually SEE her or not, but it became clearer that it wasn't. You were probably looking for that effect, and you pulled it off.

My one critique is that... it's not really a critique. But anyway, I'm sure someone's mentioned it, but I thought Chloe was a kind of ghost? She didn't seem solid enough to hold anything, if you know what I mean. I could see that you put a little explanation there, but if she could do whatever she wanted, she could write letters to her parents and things. If that's something you don't want, then you'll need to try and avoid that subject, if possible.

I hope this helped in some shape or form. Well done, and keep writing!

'Blues