Young Writers Society

It was an extremely cloudy night as everyone gathered at Infinity High for the final football game of the season. A gust of wind blew through the stands just as a touch down was made causing a great cheer to rise from the crowd. The score board showed that the Infinity Tigers were winning 35 to 14.
There was movement everywhere as people were doing their own things. There were huge lines as people were attempting to get food from the snack shops. People were still coming in. A few people were doing who knows what underneath the bleachers.
"Cut it out Hayden." giggled a black haired girl. A boy with strawberry blonde hair smiled as he ran away from her to the visitors side of the football field, a black baseball cap in his right hand. These two were an interesting couple to look at. Toni had nothing but black on her body while Hayden wore a bright pink shirt with jeans and lime green converse shoes. He was a head taller than her and was very muscular. Toni was a short, skinny, little thing with tan skin and violet eyes.
"Give me back my hat!" she called after him as he ran around to the other side of the Infinity High football field. The crowd began to cheer as one of the Infinity players scored a touch down.
"You've got to catch me first!" he called back and kept running. Good thing was that Toni was a faster runner than him. Once she caught up she managed to grab his arm. He turned to her, picked her up by the waist and spun her in the air. When he put her back down they stood there, face to face, panting and smiling. Then, before she realized it, they began to slowly lean toward each other. That's when they kissed. Toni could have stayed that way forever. That is... If her cell phone hadn't started to ring.
Smiling she broke apart and checked the caller ID. Why is the hospital calling? She thought as she answered the call.
"Hello..." She said uncertainly, the warmth from the kiss was quickly replaced by a cold dreadful feeling. "Who is this?"
"It's me." Said a voice Toni thought she'd never hear again.
"Hi... umm... Carrie." She said slowly. Hayden gave her a concerned look. She smiled at him to tell him everything was fine. "What did you need?"
"It's about your parents."
"What about them?" There was a long pause.
"They're dead."

Thanks for reading this chapter!

Ok first of all I loved the start and I can see the bond between them its beautiful, but the problem is you didn't write much, that is the flaw I saw anyways. While I was reading it I could see a few paths to where it might go, the story has potential to grow and captivate so I suggest you do an edit and add a lot more.

Good luck and may you find joy in writing

Hiya there!

This was a really interesting start. You've got great suspense going and I can already tell that Toni and Hayden are a cute couple despite their contrast. I have a big issue with this, however (and don't worry, I struggle a heck of a lot with this too), and that is detail. You don't have to add a whole lot, since right now everything's at a basic level, but it'd be nice to learn more about the setting. Let the reader know more about where all this is taking place. What's the weather like? Is it freezing and everyone's wrapped up in sweatshirts and huddling together in the stands? Or is it comfortably cool? Are there a lot of people at the game, or are the kids at Infinity High lacking school spirit and support? Is half the student body hiding out under the stands getting high? Little things, maybe not significant to the story as a whole, still make a difference.

Overall, this has got a lot of great potential. Can't wait to see where it goes! Keep writing!

~paraperson