Young Writers Society

I suppose this applys more to Americans, but I would appreciate any opinions


[pre]The war in Iraq is on many minds, some more than others. Many husbands were sent away from their wives and fathers taken away from their families, causing sorrow and fear. Mothers and wives think every day about their husbands standing in the line of battle, putting their lives on the line. They don’t know if their husbands are dead or alive, and their hearts jump at each phone call or knock on the door. Women are also sent to Iraq, leaving their young children without a mother. In some rare cases, both the mother and father of a family are sent to fight, brutally ripping apart families. Most spouses and families of those in Iraq understand that their husbands and wives are helping to keep America safe, and although it saddens and frightens them, they respect and honor the fact that their spouses are brave and it is their duty to go and fight. But others do not. They believe that it is wrong to tear families apart. These men and women protest the United States policies on the war in Iraq. Some Americans would view these people as traitors or as being un-American. Others think that protest is simply freedom of expression and that this right is given to them. Either way, the war in Iraq, and our nation’s policies on it, cause daily controversy in the lives of Americans. Many people think that protesting the war in Iraq is not un-American in any way. The first amendment to the Constitution was ratified in December of 1791. This Amendment states that, “Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the government for a redress of grievances.” This, in short, grants the freedom of religion, speech, expression, and the right tot assemble. That means that every American has the right to make his voice heard, even if it differs with the Government’s policy. This freedom allows men and women who disagree about the war in Iraq to speak their minds. When the Amendment was formed, it is doubtful that it was intended for it to be considered un-American for citizens to exercise their rights. Protests from citizens could save American soldiers lives and help to prevent the U.S. from making mistakes in leadership. After all, war protests helped to end the Vietnam Was, which if it had continued, would have undoubtedly killed thousands more people. Lastly, protests are a way to make sure that the people’s voices are heard. I will summarize my feelings on this topic with a quote from a great man. John Adams once said,” Posterity—you will never know how much it has cost my generation to preserve your freedom. I hope you will make good use of it.” Let us use this freedom granted by John Adams’s generation and not waste it. We much allow people to speak their minds, for if with don’t, this freedom will be lost forever.[/pre]

yeah, okay. it's quite good.
apart from the paragraphing which you explained)
the only thing that came to mind was how you said these people were viewed as un-american, but you didnt explain why.
oh and you forgot to include the monk who set himself on fire