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Young Writers Society


Things that dont calculate



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22 Reviews



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Tue May 10, 2005 9:26 pm
bulletproof says...



If you have ever noticed most of things in life dont make sense!Like you are in the midst of battle and you forgot what you where even fighting for.You have a best friend but you start to out grow him and start to slip further and further away from them.And your life starts to slip slowly into a dark abyss and every thing stops and loses its picture like tour dream being shattered like the break of dawn wakes you up or their is something forbidden in your dream to see.Like a big fish eating and eating until it gets eaten itself like being sucked into a dark room laft with sorrow fear and hate.Like we have no reason to live what so ever.But we keep lingering on until we realize we are in a coffin and have no more energy to linger on.As you slowly slip into madness beacuse all of the builded up stress that follows you and watches your every move until every thing loses its picture like your dream has just been shattered.
  





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Tue May 10, 2005 10:23 pm
Rei says...



This is just an opening paragraph. You gptta do more with it.
Please, sit down before you fall down.
Belloq, "Raiders of the Lost Ark"
  





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Thu May 12, 2005 1:14 am
Armadian says...



I agree with Rei. Colton you need to put the rest of the story with this. Are you trying to make a novel or just a short essay? I think we have something here but what is this suppose to be about?What u really need to do is to add the rest of the paragraphs to make a good essay. One more question was this for Mrs.Stoffel?
How can you prove that we exist? Maybe we don't exist...
  





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Thu May 12, 2005 1:40 am
Elizabeth says...



I loved it..... yeah, kinda what they say but otherwise it's a great piece...

"You have a best friend but you start to out grow him and start to slip further and further away from them."

That's true.... it's so incredibly ture...

"As you slowly slip into madness beacuse all of the builded up stress that follows you and watches your every move until every thing loses its picture like your dream has just been shattered."

:tears well up in eyes: Yes, this is why I love you. :sobs... where is my tissue?:
  





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Tue Jun 14, 2005 3:43 pm
PsyLynx says...



I think that you need a hug. *Hugs you*
  





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Thu Jun 23, 2005 7:42 pm
Ceylon says...



Everybody needs a hug, you know.
*hugs
juste essayer

La fin d'ordinaire, et vous ne verriez pas ce que vient.

Comment bon il s'avérera être..
  








the only theft here is of decency when carina decided to rob me of my pride and put me on a banana
— veeren