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How Do You Know Who Your Friends Are (Unfinished)



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Fri Mar 04, 2011 6:50 pm
MileyCyrusLuver says...



How Do You Know Who Your Friends Are

How do you know who your friends are? Are they people you like to be with? Are they people you think about or people you are with as much as possible? Not sure? Read on and find out.
A friend is who know when somethings wrong before you say a word. I thing this is one of the biggest parts or friend ship. I remember one day in 5th grade when I walked in to class I was really depressed. Almost instantaneously my best friend Jake comes up to me and says “whats wrong?” I was really surprised when he said this because truthful I didn't know I was that sad until he said it.
A friend will ALWAYS stick up for you when you are not able to for your-self. I believe this is an important part of friendship because it allows you to feel safer. Last year when I was walking in the hall trying to get to class I was walking with one of my friends
  





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Fri Mar 04, 2011 11:06 pm
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Soulkana says...



I have a few things to correct but you did VERY good in describing the way friends are to one another and how important they are to each of us no matter what^^ good job!

How do you know who your friends are? Are they people you like to be with? Are they people you think about or people you are with as much as possible? Not sure? Read on and find out.
A friend is who know when somethings wrong before you say a word. I thing this is one of the biggest parts or friend ship. I remember one day in 5th grade when I walked in to class I was really depressed. Almost instantaneously my best friend Jake comes up to me and says “whats wrong?” I was really surprised when he said this because truthful I didn't know I was that sad until he said it.
A friend will ALWAYS stick up for you when you are not able to for your-self. I believe this is an important part of friendship because it allows you to feel safer. Last year when I was walking in the hall trying to get to class I was walking with one of my friends

Ok so i just figured you had been typing too fast at the time and didn't notice them which is no biggie ^^ i do that lots too.
So first "Know" sounds better when you have knows but thats ok.
Second: somethings should be something's or something is
Third: I think you meant "think" not thing on this one
Fourth: Think you meant "of" instead of "or"
Fifth: Friendship is one word not two again think that was a typing fast mistake
Sixth: It should be "What's wrong?" stead of "what's wrong?"
Seventh: I think "Truthfully would be best here instead of Truthful
Eight: I suggest to separate them in paragraphs so they are much easier to read but that's OK since its short but once it gets longer it will much harder to read then. But you did great and i can't wait for more good luck and happy writing
Soulkana<3
May the gentle moon take you into peaceful dreams. May the mighty sun brighten your new days.
  





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Sun Apr 17, 2011 1:33 am
kimkim10101 says...



I love this I'm going to use it to find out who my friends are. :)
  





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Tue May 03, 2011 11:06 pm
PhoenixRain says...



I think this piece shows a good bit of potential. I will eagerly anticipate the rest of this piece.

There are quite a few typos, which I found a little cumbersome to read around and you might want to develop a greater grasp on punctuation rules.
Also,
A friend will ALWAYS stick up for you when you are not able to for your-self.

For emphasis on "always," it would have been more ideal to use italics, as opposed to capital letters. Also, "yourself" has no hyphen.
I really like the concept of this piece and I hope to soon see the rest of it! :)
NaPoWriMo Count: 6 poems (only started on the 14th :P)
viewtopic.php?f=196&t=97647&p=1135123#p1135123
  








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